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Dec 15 2008Kim Kardashian & Marisa Miller want you to believe hot chicks like video games


Kim Kardashian and Marisa Miller attended the Spike 2008 Video Game Awards last night as part of their duty to trick gamers into believing women will sleep with them. The Geekologie Writer and myself being the obvious exceptions, of course. In fact, we're pretty confident it's going to happen soon. Yup, any day now. All that sex. Right here. - - Then again, we should probably purchase the latest games just in case. As Eliot Spitzer once said "To my credit card and vagina!"

Photos: Splash News, WENN

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Dec 11 2008Kim Kardashian practices oral hygiene


Kim Kardashian stopped to pick something out of her teeth while shopping in LA last night. I'm no dentist, but from this angle it's either one of two things: An entire Christmas ham or Frank Stallone.

UPDATE: So close; It was Kourtney.

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Dec 11 2008Khloe Kardashian gets naked/airbrushed for PETA


Finally! Now I know what Khloe Kardashian would look like if she stripped naked, was heavily altered to not look like Sasquatch and then jammed her finger in a light socket. Adios, sleepless nights...

Photos: PETA, Splash News

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Dec 3 2008Kim Kardashian will get naked again

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Like any sophisticated woman of poise and dignity, Kim Kardashian wants it to be known she would definitely get all kinds of naked again and be airbrushed by the folks at Playboy. It really is amazing to learn she doesn't live at Buckingham Palace. From her official blog:

There are a bunch of reports about me on the web claiming that I said I would never do Playboy again. They’re quoting me as saying, “It was a one-off. I don't think I'll do Playboy or anything like that again.”
THIS IS TOTALLY FALSE!
First of all, I have never used the term “one-off.” It’s simply not in my vocabulary.
Here’s my thinking: While I’m not planning to pose for the men’s magazine in the immediate future, I definitely don’t want to close the door to the opportunity! I absolutely love Hugh Hefner and the rest of the Playboy team and appreciate the opportunity to work with them!
Never say never,
Kim

Dear Kim,

I own a camera, an assortment of shag furniture and, once I sneak back into the zoo, a polar bear rug. In case you were curious.

Surprisingly tasteful,

The Superficial Writer

P.S. Did I mention my balls aren't old? Don't be alarmed if this creates feelings in you that you yourself don't quite understand.

Photo: Playboy

Nov 27 2008Happy Thanksgiving!


Hey, guys, I'll be taking off the next two days for some R&R;, but The Superficial will return to its regularly scheduled posting on Saturday Nov. 29. For those who haven't noticed: Yes, Virginia, there's posting on the weekends now. Whee!

In the meantime, here's pics of Kim Kardashian who's thankful this year for paparazzi that don't always go for the ass shot and, as usual, O.J. Simpson's prior access to knives.

Happy Thanksgiving, everybody!

Photos: Splash News

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Nov 23 2008Kim Kardashian & Robert Shapiro invest that sweet O.J. money


Kim Kardashian and Robert Shapiro debuted their online shoe service Shoe Dazzle at the Rohn Padmore Red Carpet Suite this weekend. Because nothing sells women's footwear like the guy who helped O.J. beat a murder rap. I'm guessing after every 10th purchase you're allowed to stab somebody, and Bob Shapiro will talk it down to a parking ticket. *click click click click* What's the fastest way to Heidi and Spencer's house?

NOTE: Video after the jump depicts a cameraman's epic struggle between filming shoes or zooming in on Kim Kardashian's cleavage. Think Spartacus but without all that acting and plot crap.

Photos: Splash News

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Nov 17 2008Kim Kardashian still wearing bikinis


Here's a rare occurrence: pictures of Kim Kardashian wearing a bikini without a sarong. Seriously, you'd have better luck finding a four-leaf clover that talks and knows all the words to "Total Eclipse of the Heart" by Bonnie Tyler - in Aramaic.

NOTE: Folks, we've got buttcrack. And quite possibly the lost city of Atlantis. I'll keep you posted.

Photos: INFdaily.com

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Nov 15 2008Kim & Kourtney Kardashian pose with Kristin Cavallari in something called a 'bikini'


In order:
1 - 2. Kourtney Kardashian and Kristin Cavallari. (Tied.)
3. Hermit crab.
4. Beach chair.
5. Jellyfish.
6. Poseidon, God of the Sea.
7. Plankton.
8. Sand shark.
9. Jimmy Buffet.
10. Kim Kardashian.

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