Dec 4 2008Heidi Montag in her only useful form

so sick of her

She has a nice bum.

Ashley's fat.

I could care less about this white whore. But it is my conviction to do her doggy style in the ass raw!!! without douching her first. I want shit stains on my penis to signify my glory. RAW IN THE ANUS.

she does have a great body but she's posted about (what seems like) every few hours. lame.

If she really wants fame, she needs to just make porn. No one is going to respect you Heidi. Not only because you're "pimp/husband" looks like a mutant, but because at age 22, you've had more surgery that Cher.... And you have absolutely NO talent whatsoever.

What a fucking poser.

I'm sick of this attention whore.

.

This body was built for pounding only...

Wow.... in picture 4 and 5, you can see her pussy between her legs

correction...shots from her hineymoon.

publicity whore

Good Bye Superficial. I'm sick of all the chicks and no guys. I'm in search for a site that shows men as well as females.

Later

Comment 8, Brilliant.

Now that's a woman I could get behind, exhibit A: picture 1!

But on a serious note, how can that dood get with a hot chick like that. Muthafucka looks like a sea otter.

this bitch just needs to make porn already.
she's useless when it comes to everything else.

If I looked like her I would be the perfect woman... genius and beautiful!

I wish I never have to see her horse face again. I wish her and her douchy "husband" fall into a hole filled with broken glass.

For some reason I smell both a fart and a douche.

Couldn't you at least edit out that ass-clown from these pics?

I agree with the chick that said she should do porn. She has the best porn faces in every picture. It doesn't matter if she is in the grocery store or on the beach, she always has that I'm getting fucked face. Dude looks like a rapist dirtball with that beard of his. It looks like she was down there on a bikini shoot. These fame whores need to be offed.

Where's a shark when you need one?

I hate her so much but god damn, she is fine. I'd seriously tear that ass up, her body is perfect.

Can that fucking guy satisfy her when the cameras are shut off? Think about it she must have a shed full of power-tools next to her bed. Just going by appearances at least, he seems like half the man Ronson is, or sorry, Timmeh!!!

You could fit Montag between Elisha Cuthbert's asscheeks, and she would just look like a partially-plastic thong bikini. Though H's hips are shapely, she's definitely got some curves.

@ 21 agreed!

She's got a bangin little body...but i'd need to muffle her mouth...

What woman in their right mind marries Spencer Pratt?

yeah i'm in the same boat as most others.

can't stand her but man her body is built for fucking nonstop.

8: Hilarious!

Pic 4 - Ahh! I'm having the world's ugliest baby.

She's obviously a complete moron and I'm not a big fan of the plastic bolt on titties, but that is one fine tappable ass.

I agree she has a nice body... A very very nice plastic body.
Think about it. She's 21 or 23 or whatever. But how many surgeries has she gone under that the publics aware of? 3 or 4 right? Chest job, lip job, nose job and chin job. Am I right or am I missing more? Look at old pictures of her when she was one of the extras on The Hills. And look at her now. Looks like 2 completely seperate people.
Whatever the case might be, these bastards are making money. Because assholes like Fish, who makes a big deal about NEVER posting about them, continues to post stupid "staged" photo-ops, that they're in. So STFU and let these shitheads bask in their 13th minutes of their 15 minutes of retarded fame

Man, say what you will about that chick, I'd still hit it.

Where's a mass-bomber when you need one?

Why would those assholes bomb and terrorize innocent people in India when we have these 2 criminals roaming Hollywood freely?

gorgeous coloring, fantastic hair, absolutely flawless body....too bad about that face. specifically, that jaw line. and there is no surgery to fix man-jaws, i am afraid.

but hey, we all have our flaws! i might live with that face, hair, and skin, though if i could have her body. i would do exactly the same thing as her: run around in as little clothing as possible. at all times.

gorgeous coloring, fantastic hair, absolutely flawless body....too bad about that face. specifically, that jaw line. and there is no surgery to fix man-jaws, i am afraid.

but hey, we all have our flaws! i might live with that face, though if i could have her body, hair, and skin. i would do exactly the same thing as her: run around in as little clothing as possible. at all times.

"flawless" doesn't apply to bodies with hard oversized bolt-on boobs. If she had natural C's, she'd be flawless (from the neck down).

Notice how happy Spencer is when he gets to face away from the pussy.

is it just me, or is she getting a little cottage-cheesy around the hips and ass? Not LARGE, per se, but... texturey.

it's just you

Deacon I'm with you - maybe land sharks if nothing else works.

but I thought the Fish promised no more stories about these douches.

I propose a committee be established with the sole purpose of disposing of this wench.

A separate committee should look into the option of eradicating sir douche-drips-chin-icicles as well.

All in favor say ye!

I'm so confused. I want to punch her in the mouth/chin/neck area yet I still want to paint her toenails.

COMMENT 8....EPIC

If they can't be be attacked by sharks, can we at least sick Amy Winehouse and the hubby at them.

She is an idiot. He is a douce. But Heidi has a fucking incredible body.

#35, it's definitely just you.

this moron has a perfect body.....yes even with the fake cans.

Spencer has the same picture, but he's photoshopped some big hairy balls hanging down from the butt.

Actually most of the guys here seem like Spencers.

whooo look what i just clicked into!!

*booty butt cheeks*

Her face says, she doesnt know what satisfaction feels like!

See girls? You can be the best person alive, smart and funny and a great overall personality with a warm, kind, generous heart...and all the guys will still want to hook up with the loud obnoxious conceited selfish dumb girl with the big fake tits.

wasn't she the one who was a loner, always crying, friendless, and doing nothing but work and cry/fight with spencer on the hills?

great, she paid for this awesomely hot fuckable barbie body. congrats heidi, everyone wants to fuck you. but how awesome is your life, REALLY?

and 2, WHAT KIND OF A MAN MARRIES A WOMAN THAT SHOWS OFF HER ASS CHEEKS AND VAGINA AND LOOKS LIKE SHES TURNED ON 24/7 IN STAGED PHOTO-OPS FOR ALL TO JERK OFF TO!? fucking trash. scum of hollywood. this is sick and its 2008 and we love looking at this shit. america fucking blows. not my choice to live here :(((((((

Just like a liberal to make a sexist comment like that. Scumbag.

#9 "hineymoon" is genius.

i wanna make white pee pee on her front lumps.

I really don't see the big deal with the blonde hair blue eyed bullshit. I thought we were done with those types already. Nothing but trouble.
I don't think this girl is hot anyway.

Looks like she is already developing that "married chick" ass spread.

GETTING BIGGER UP IN THIS BITCH!

i thought you promised to stop giving these two morons free publicity. spare us!

Yeah, I'd hit that ... with a baseball bat .. repeatedly ... with glee ... tee hee .. but, that's cruelty to a dumb animal ... damn the SPCA ... always protecting the wrong species ... fire up the woodchopper Bertram ... we're groundin' up sum lib'rawls t'nite ... hey, razorbacks are picky, they don't eat meat, they prefer vegetarians.

Butterface.

@8 win!

She's a fuck toy. The end. I dont like fuck toys, been there done that. They're too much work- it's not worth the trouble for the pussy. Yeah, RLY.

I would hit it with a nine iron to the face, tho. Repeatedly. Until it stopped giggling.

I know have a new found respect for Heidi Montag...

Nah, JK but look at that ASS. Dayum! I guess she really isnt good for nothing.

STOP! I'm sick of this bitch

She prob sucks the worst cock.

Heidi Montag is superfish's heroin. He keeps telling you he's quit it and won't ever do it again but you know he's lying.

Time for an intervention. I'll call A&E;

PLEASE stop posting about them. seriously.

FAIL.

Their kids are gonna have such teeth.

Ya know, honestly, I'm not sure I've ever seen as shapely an ass as in pic 1, certainly not with that epic sideboob. And I thought republicans were all shriveled and angry :(

Seriously, she's perfect. If I could travel the world and fuck the shit out of her at will whilst making millions, I completely would. Way to go Spencer, you mad genius.

http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1049/918628517_854b0fd3b1.jpg?v=0

everyone, please, take a look at that photo!!!!

heidi pre-surgery.
superficial should do a before and after instead of promoting her, making her look like the fucking whore that she is.

Stop posting about them. Seriously, I am so sick of these people.

All of the gossip blogs and magazines should boycott Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt.

Oh, yeah, and I totally agree with post #11.

Has no one else noticed her fucking wonk hand? Look at picture 4. It's like her thumb is trying to escape. Although I would too if I were being shoved up Spencer's ass with ball sweat dripping down me every night.

Wow she is an idiot but she is fucking hot.
I would bang her everyday all day.
I wonder who is banging her cause he sure is not.
She needs to do Playboy ASAP.

I don't generally like posts like these, puttin' people down but; I've seen the same pictures at least 8 times today and like so many other I am really sick of this woman. However I respond to the best intro line of them all: Her only useful form. Perfectly simple, simply perfect. Kudos to you guys for coming up with the best line.

If that closet-cocksucker was a real man and not just pretending to be one, his face would be turned the other way.
Fish you fucking lying bastard, we all know now that you are fucking in love with this bitches' husband, isn't this your fuckin second post about these two queers today?!
You fucking cocksuckin queer fag.

Two Speidi posts in one day? Fuck you, Fish.

i love picture 1. i hate this girl but i think she's got a great bod.

@11 ...agreed

first picture looks porntastic

i wish they would go away. on vh1 there is a poll for 2008 and it asks who is 2008 douchest couple and these douche bags are beating every other couple by 95%. Does she ever take off her makeup? people did a story about take a pic first thing in the morning before you get out of bed, yyyea her hair was done make up done, maybe she is an alien? that could by why she like palin so much.

She is my favorite. Just saw her on milllionaire personals site """" W e a l t h y D a t e r . c o m"""""" last week. I am wondering what kind of relationship she is looking for on that site.Is she single again now?

FISH HAS A MONSTROUS CRUSH ON HEIDI. OR SPENCER. OR BOTH OF THEM. WHATEVER -- HE'S OBSESSED AND THAT'S WHY WE ARE BEING SUBJECTED TO THIS. YOU'RE PISSING ME OFF NOW.

... end caps lock rant.

Fish.

I agree.. She should just be a porn star... she cant act... she is mindless... smokin bod... what other qualifications do you need??

http://internetmiscellanea.blogspot.com/

Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt

There once were two empty doorstoppers
Who fancied themselves as chart-toppers
So clever and cute
Quoting scriptures en route
Next year they’ll be cheezing our whoppers

TIENE CARA DE ESTUPIDA..

Her butt is GROSS. It looks weird...just like her dumb face!

Yeah right, totally unpredictable pics & her hair's not even wet...

How long 'till she gets into porn?

i think comment number eight deserves more fucking botox than the comment that won taht competition.

Dear Superficial Writer,

Please crop the pictures better next time.

Thank you,

Heidi paints pictures of Barbara Streisand.

OH i will be wanking to these pics tonight!

Has she always been like this? Or only after she got those ridiculous implants?

First off: I've always enjoyed this girl [ Or at least pictures of her ]; maybe it's because I've never seen her show, maybe it's because I've never heard her talk, maybe it's because i know next to nothing about her. Whatever... I'd still suck the stains out of her panties.

"She's a fuck toy. The end. I dont like fuck toys, been there done that. They're too much work- it's not worth the trouble for the pussy. Yeah, RLY."

That bastard she's with can't *POSSIBLY* be sating her. When they divorce, I'll ask her out to dinner. =D

I'd fuck Heidi's ass until the skin peeled off my pecker!

I love how she's in the water but her hair never gets wet.

How nice...in pics 4 and 5 she's showing off her giant pussy.

LOL at what Comment 8 said.

LOL at the names and comments of #35 and #36!!!

UGH!! look at her CANKLES in the last picture! her legs have no definition, and her ass is rapidly going flabby. she'll be "losing" a sex tape within the year...it's the only thing that this bimbo can do in her last gasp for fame.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

WHAT DO YOU GUYS SEE IN HER AGAIN????

OH THAT'S RIGHT! WHITE MEN LIKE ANOREXIC, MAN FACED WOMEN WHO HAVE TO RESORT TO IMPLANTS SO THAT THE WHITE MEN DON'T FEEL LIKE MOELSTING CHILDREN.

RIGHT ON NUMBER 47, ALL YOU R OTHER HOMOS SUCK.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

This is sooooooooo CHEAP!!
EVERY GUY FEELS HIS PENIS NOW.
except for spencer's faggot "PUSSY", folks!!

Watch your ass girl...its starting to blow up.

What is wrong with her?

When will she wake up?

She is soooo desperate... at least she could NOT look at the camera.. god.

What is wrong with her?

When will she wake up?

She is soooo desperate... at least she could NOT look at the camera.. god.

the red suit makes her look like she has some crazy (awesome!!!) c-toe, also, I like how she's gettin' some woman hips. They're nice.

all i'm wondering is..

WHO THE FUCK IS TAKING ALL THESE PICTURES OF HER???

does she just run around posing for a flock of paparazzi like they're her own personal photographers or what the fuck is going on????

how come NO ONE ever wonders who's taking these dumbfuck pictures and if the douche twins are actually getting the better of everyone with ridiculously staged photo ops????

DOES NO ONE NOTICE THAT WE'VE NEVER SEEN A SINGLE REAL CANDID SHOT OF THESE WHORES??? EVER???? I feel like i'm in the twilight zone for fuck's sake

all i'm wondering is..

WHO THE FUCK IS TAKING ALL THESE PICTURES OF HER???

does she just run around posing for a flock of paparazzi like they're her own personal photographers or what the fuck is going on????

how come NO ONE ever wonders who's taking these dumbfuck pictures and if the douche twins are actually getting the better of everyone with these ridiculously staged photo ops????

DOES NO ONE NOTICE THAT WE'VE NEVER SEEN A SINGLE REAL CANDID SHOT OF THESE WHORES??? EVER???? I feel like i'm in the twilight zone for fuck's sake

k I hate her, don't like blondes, and am a woman, and I still wanna come in her ass in that main pic.

Summary:

Chick is hot and extremely bangable.

Dude looks like an animal rapist.

---------

Did I miss anything?

Hey Anticlown, how about NOT including ubiquitous audio/video flash ads that play with the most innocent click anywhere outside your blog post column. If I want to watch it, I'll click on it.

I'd also be interested in reading what the I Watch Stuff writer has to say about Heather Locklear's Flirting with Forty.

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fuck you for promoting these bullshit pieces of shit. blahblahblah. I thought you were better than that. I will quit reading if you keep posting about these stupid fucking asshole pieces of shit.

fuck you for promoting these bullshit pieces of shit. blahblahblah. I thought you were better than that. I will quit reading if you keep posting about these stupid fucking asshole pieces of shit.

But'er face!

I sure hate this woman (and that fucking idiot boyfriend or whatever it is), but I sure want to shove my penis into her asshole and thrust it over and over again ... if you know what I mean.

You can see that she's no longer a virgin

(#65 - jesus, that's some difference. I wonder if she'd let me have her surgeon's number)

I hate blondes and am glad one day they will be extinct. The whole race of blonde types needs to be eradicated and rest assured this will happen soon. No more blue eyed devils.

God Spencer is horrific looking. Also, who wears 4 different bikinis in one day?

.................A "WET" FART, folks?

#65 Respect.

What a sad, lonely person she is.

He should just shave already.

She is my favorite. Just saw her on milllionaire personals site """" W e a l t h y D a t e r . c o m"""""" last week. I am wondering what kind of relationship she is looking for on that site.Is she single again now?

She is my favorite. Just saw her on milllionaire personals site """" W e a l t h y D a t e r . c o m"""""" last week. I am wondering what kind of relationship she is looking for on that site.Is she single again now?

I'd give my left nut to play Yatzee with her!

#3...Did you say you want to give it to her raw in the anus? Your words are clouded and innuendo filled...but I think you want to give it to her raw...in the anus.

That's a pic i didn't need to see this early in the morning.

. or ever for that matter

I hate these do nothing celebs! she's hot but super dumb and her boyfriend is a guy that every guy wants to shit kick....who wants to be with a guy like that.

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you stupid fucking cunt, wheere did you learn your trade

very nice ass

very nice ass

I'd like to sniff her cork

Pic #12 - Her ass is getting big...especially her right cheek. It's getting a little dimpley. Her right thigh looks a little thick and she has cankles.

"Hey, it's a guy with a camera! How cool. What are you doing here? Here, guy with a camera, how's this? And this? One sec, let me change bikinis..."

No way this chick doesn't cry herself to sleep every night in her huge pillah.

Pic #4 - look ! she's got pratt as her bushy pussy.

why would anyone pay her for anything when they can see everything on thesuperficial.com I wonder if her gyno just gets on here to do her yearly exam? LOL

I think she is gaining noticible weight. Look at her older pics and now. Still looks good but teetering on the chubby side.

If you ignore that she is Heidi Montag, that she is a sick Republican, conservative idiot, that she is a stereotypical retarded american blonde, and then you chop off her head, she would do for a nice fuck.

God's attempt at humor. Make the most annoying chick of the planet also one of the hottest. Well at least for her body.

@79! Limerick Man rules.

she wants to look like Kristina Blond - an actual porn star.
http://www.eurobabeindex.com/sbandoindex/kristinabl.html

FYI - link NSFW (sorta)

I'd fuck her ass until it looked like a broken Cadburry Egg.

This twit is so monumentally unimportant it hurts.

For any man to insert his penis into any part of it, it would surley see a lowering of his IQ . . .

oh yeah? well I'd fuck her ass till she crapped all over herself. Then I'd hose her off and fuck her ass again.

I would like to bang her...

again superfish STOP POSTING MISS DOUCHE ON THIS SITE ALSO MR.DOUCHE ALSO!

Live and let live. I hold nothing against that girl since I have no idea about how she's like behind the camera. Heidi ser så bra ut tycker jag!

I would so love to bang her. I know, I'm married to her but she won't let me touch the goodies.

#8 Awesome

i say best comment any one left ..very Funny

lol @ you jealous cows who are claiming her ass it getting too big or she has cankles.

as much as i think she's a stupid, vapid, airheaded bimbo....you can't say a negative thing about this chick's body. unless you're not into the fake boobs. everything else on this moron is built for sex & that's ok with me.

She's simply STUNNING!

I don't know who this chick is but I would like to crawl up her butthole and set up camp in there. Bonfires and everything.

She'd be the perfect pornstar.

I think she's pretty hot. But it's amazing how even though she's dating a caveman looking guy, she did WAY better than Christina Aguilera! Ironic, as Alanis would say...or sing.

Man! Dat iz one hot white woman! Too bad all I'z ever gonna git the next 15 years is man dizol.

Nice round, fat ass for a white, spoiled, suburban chick.

CUNT!!!

I bet her asshole is mad brown.
Since she's so pale and all.

As annoying as she is, she does look decent in a bikini. I approve.
Just please, please, please remember to crop out that nasty blond-bearded growth that always seems to be attached to her.

to #150

I think its pink!

Who wouldn't have a perfect body with all the money she's probably spent on hers. I value natural beauty much more, thanks.
And how can you say she's hot when she looks so much like Tori Spelling?

Don't smile Heidi, you look like a fucking horse.

I wanna put it in her ass, mmmmmmmmm

Well, those pictures look completely natural.

Horseface. Butter face. But a great rack and a popping ass. If only she would just turn around and hide her face, her pics would look way better. Sorta like Audrina.

I thought this bitch said she doesn't drink alcohol in an interview? But she consumed margaritas before her "marriage" and now she's drinking some more on the beach...

oh the lies and fakeness...like her nose, lips, tits, personality etc..

She has a great body but her face is weird. And she's dumb.

I found out what her canadian number is !!! 647 403 1626

I found out what her canadian number is !!! 647 403 1626

I'd bang her so hard in Cabo she'd need a wheelchair to get on the plane home.

She is so drugged up. Look at her eyes. Obviously you would have to be heavily medicated in order to tolerate Spencer for as long as she has.

GOD someone please shoot this useless, dumb bimbo in the head please.

I'd like to watch Spencer watch her fuck a black dude.

make up at the beach?

Boring.

I'd fuck her from behind so I wouldnt have to look at her ugly ass face, besides the plastic tittys and the cankles she does have a nice body not a anorexic bitch like the other women posted on this site at least she has some meat on her bones

Total dead fish, I bet.

SOOOOOOO this is lame......

one word.. BUTTERFACE.

The last picture is ugly. Legs: too short.

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I realize we are all just giving the crude bitch what she wants, but right now I can't help it. She CRAVES attention like no one I've ever seen before. Either daddy gave her too much "attention", or not enough. I wonder what she really thinks when she looks in the mirror? Wouldn't it be great to hear her thoughts on how wonderful she is? Seriously, it would absolutely crack my shit up.

I also agree with #11 Later. Where is all the man skin?

@ #8 -- You can! And it REALLY needs a shave.

#11 - You want man skin? Go to www.hotmale.com and leave us to our titties.

Ugly ballons she's got for tits.

damn thats pretty hot even though shes retarded.

Hey Coco #177
What a prick, you're just too cheap to buy a hustler, this is your "free" tittie fix
I get tired of being bombarded by tits and ass CONSTANTLY! If I want to see perfect tits and ass I just look in the mirror. Boring. Show us something new.

Mmmmmmmmm..........burgers.

That chick is hot. All the tubby little internet gossip hounds get so worked up by her great body. Who gives a schitt if she's stupid ... that's even better.

Oh, and @ 173 ... change the name to www.mudsharks.com or www.fatwhitewhoreswithnoselfesteem.com or maybe www.ihatemyfather.com

The "I'de hit that" comments you see on this site are so funny... I am pretty confident that no one would "hit you"... not even a crack whore and you had five bucks in your hand. Put a pair of plastic tits on half you guys out there you would be an even larger hollywood whore than these two.

I gotta hand it to these two ka-ka stains, they know how to maket themselves and get rich in the process. If anyone of you who have posted to this story did the same thing I'd applaude you too! Think about it...they did what they do best which is, annoy the fuck out of us and made a nice cozy living out of it. Anyone remember Tom Vu the real estate huckster? He annoyed people back in the late 80's and early 90's with his goofy fucking infomercials and now he's on the Pro Poker Tour! So my advice to all of you is this....find out what you're good at and make some money annoying the fuck out of the rest of us. Shit...Rosie O'Donnel does it too and the fat pig is laughing her ass all the way to the bank. None of these assholes could hold down regular jobs in the real world because they'd starve. Think about it and get back to me.

I've never watched the hills, but I gotta say this chick is hot.

her ass is flabby. yuck

her ass is flabby. yuck

kill yourself heidi

great body. ugly face. end of story.

everyone needs to stfu and declare comment 8 the best one since this website became the study hall hangout for high school retards. Thank you #8, I laughed for 20 min