Gender expectations can negatively impact how men cope with and understand sexual abuse. Societal pressures
to appear strong, self-reliant, in control, and always ready for sex contradict the reality of abuse as a
traumatizing loss of power. This can lead men to judge themselves harshly for their responses. Additionally,
the focus on self-reliance through dealing with problems alone can foster isolation when connection is needed.
Navigating these influences requires balancing strengths like control and resilience with prioritizing choice and
supportive relationships.
GENDER OF THE COUNSELLEE, MENTAL HEALTH OF THE COUNSELLEE AND VALUES OF THE C...ANCYBS
This document discusses the importance of understanding a counsellee's gender and the influences it has on their mental health and counseling needs. It outlines that women experience depression more than men and have unique concerns related to socialization and roles. These include stress from multiple responsibilities and issues like body image. Men internalize emotions more due to social norms and may struggle with vulnerability, addiction, and relationship or work issues. Understanding a counsellee's values, providing respect, and allowing them to discuss issues at their own pace are important for effective counseling.
Provides an overview of different types of kink-related behaviors, the psychology of kink and much more. Listen to this as a podcast on Counselor Toolbox Podcast, available on any podcast app. Earn CEUs for listening to the podcast at https://www.allceus.com/member/cart/index/product/id/953/c/
Infidelity Counselling is considered “talk therapy,” which means that both partners are allowed to share concerns in a safe and productive environment. More specifically, in the presence of a trained counselor.
Understanding Love -- Self-Help Regarding Psychological HealingMaria772Nielson
This document discusses psychological healing and conscious loving in relationships. It states that past emotional wounds and unresolved issues get stored in our body and mind, acting as barriers to self-understanding, awareness, and spiritual growth. These wounds also contribute to relationship problems. The document recommends taking responsibility for one's role in the relationship and working towards resolving one's own psychological issues in order to free oneself from the past and have a healthy relationship.
The document discusses peer pressure and provides advice on how to manage it. Peer pressure occurs when one feels influenced by peers to do something they normally wouldn't do, or prevented from doing something they want, in order to be accepted. It can affect fashion choices, substance use, relationships and academics. While peer pressure may sometimes motivate, it can also lead one to act against their values. The document recommends finding people with shared interests, saying "no" confidently, and seeking help from trusted individuals if feeling unable to handle peer pressure situations.
Personality is the response for the interaction individuals with the factors surround them. This presentation is the detailed description of personality, factors influencing the personality and the positive as well as negative behaviors exhibited at different age-groups . This is prepared and uploaded by Innoclazz Academy
The video for this presentation is available on our Youtube channel:
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Learn about co-dependency and interventions to help the person with co-dependency issues.
This document discusses factors that contribute to divorce. It identifies bad communication, infidelity, money management issues, addictions, mid-life crises, sexual discrepancies, lack of commitment, and couple incompatibility as common reasons why marriages end in divorce. It also notes that divorce is a process that involves emotional, legal, economic, and community aspects as couples and their social networks adjust to the dissolution of marriage.
This document discusses the impact of sexual assault. It describes various physical impacts such as genital trauma, sexually transmitted infections, pregnancy, and general health risks. Psychological impacts include anxiety, fear, depression, suicidal ideation, self-blame, post-traumatic stress disorder, and effects on partners and family members. Sexual assault can negatively impact victims' physical and mental health for years. The severity of psychological symptoms depends on factors like perceived life threat and social support received after the assault. Healthcare providers should treat victims with respect and empowerment.
The video for this presentation is available on our Youtube channel:
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Define Sex Addiction
Discuss Similarities and Differences Between Drug Addiction and Sex Addiction
Explore Interventions for Sex Addiction
Unlimited Counseling CEUs for $59 https://www.allceus.com/
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Earn a certificate as a sex and pornography addiction recovery coach (SPARC) https://www.allceus.com/member/cart/index/search?q=sex
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Nurses, addiction and mental health counselors, social workers and marriage and family therapists can earn continuing education credits (CEs) for this and other course at:
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AllCEUs has been approved by NBCC as an Approved Continuing Education Provider, ACEP No. 6261. Programs that do not qualify for NBCC Credit are clearly identified. AllCEUs is solely responsible for all aspects of the programs.
AllCEUs is also approved as an education provider for NAADAC, the States of Florida and Texas Boards of Social Work and Mental Health/Professional Counseling, the California Consortium for Addiction Professionals and Professions. Our courses are accepted in most states through those approvals.
How Codependency Affects Our Clients & Our ServiceLaura M. Kearney
An overview of the prevalence and challenges of codependency, how it affects our clients, and how codependency in counselors can negatively impact our quality of service.
This document discusses different types of abuse, including emotional, sexual, and physical abuse. It defines each type of abuse and provides examples. Emotional abuse involves cruelty or degradation through actions like ridicule and criticism. Sexual abuse is any nonconsensual sexual contact, while physical abuse causes physical pain or harm. The document suggests questions for students to discuss about each topic and how to design an awareness campaign.
The video for this presentation is available on our Youtube channel:
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Unlimited Counseling CEUs for $59 https://www.allceus.com/
Specialty Certificate tracks starting at $89 https://www.allceus.com/certificate-tracks/
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Examines codependency in terms of its function to help the codependent survive, identifies common cognitive pitfalls and proposes some basic interventions to get people started addressing their codependency issues.
This document defines key concepts related to attitudes and prejudice, including how attitudes are formed and can change. It discusses three characteristics of attitudes: stability, evaluation, and guidance of behavior. Attitudes can change through persuasive communication, changing behavior, or ideology. Prejudice involves negative attitudes toward groups, and racism is a system that categorizes people by physical features. The document also examines gender stereotyping, patriarchy, sexism, and feminist efforts to reduce prejudice and ideological support for inequality.
Provides clinicians with an understanding of kink, BDSM and polyamorous relationship structures so they are better able to serve this population.Listen to this as a podcast on Counselor Toolbox Podcast, available on any podcast app. Earn CEUs for listening to the podcast at https://www.allceus.com/
Emotional abuse is a form of violence that involves improper and unhealthy interactions between two or more people. It can be caused by factors like inferiority complexes, unresolved personal problems, and lack of ability to understand healthy relationships. Abusers tend to be emotionally immature and exert excessive control over victims, while victims have low self-esteem and seek crumbs of affection. Signs of abuse can be subtle messages or behaviors that manipulate or play mind games. Prevention requires awareness of key information and seeking help from others.
How our generation is failing to cope with emotional stress. The Most Stresse...Healthcare consultant
The first key problem is the influence of social media on our lives. For a generation that likes to broadcast our “authentic” lifestyles, the way we portray ourselves on social media is shameful. We exaggerate. We edit our pictures. We even lie. Worst of all, we then compare ourselves to our friends’ and family’s posts on social media. This creates an unrealistic expectation of how we should and shouldn’t live our lives based off of how others portray the way that they are living theirs.
Advanced Practice Tools for Lawyers Managing Borderline PD ClientsKevin Karlson
Emotionally needy clients, especially women diagnosed with borderline personality disorder, present unique challenges for family lawyers. These clients live in a state of constant crisis and have unstable relationships and self-images. They crave attention and fear abandonment. When undergoing high-conflict divorces, their BPD traits are exacerbated. Lawyers must set clear expectations and limits to manage these clients, while also providing structure and emotional support to help them navigate the legal process. Failing to do so risks clients sabotaging their own cases through impulsive or unhealthy behaviors.
The document discusses Buddhist culture and the importance of developing a balanced personality according to Buddhist principles. It states that practicing the Five Precepts, developing good habits like kindness and compassion, and engaging in regular self-reflection can help one become a cultured, well-adjusted Buddhist and member of society. A balanced Buddhist understands that craving leads to suffering and maintains detachment from worldly things while observing the precepts to preserve well-being.
The document discusses different religious beliefs and asks believers to reflect critically on the foundations and logic of their own faith. It questions how Christians, Jews, Hindus, Buddhists and non-believers know their beliefs are absolutely correct over others. The document argues that the true religion must be consistent with human nature, have clear and evident beliefs, and provide guidance for all aspects of life. It presents Islam as fulfilling these criteria through its monotheistic teachings and the preserved Quran as evidence of its divine origins.
This document discusses Buddhism's perspective on human genetic research and concepts of personhood. Some key points:
1) Buddhism defines personhood based on psychological facts like self-love rather than a substantial self. Personhood begins at fertilization according to Buddhist tradition.
2) Killing violates personhood because it goes against self-love, though suicide may be acceptable to donate life for others' benefit. Using embryonic stem cells could be seen as killing unless the embryo would consent if able.
3) While killing normally violates personhood, capital punishment can be allowed from a social ethics perspective if it prevents serious crimes, showing personhood is not an absolute in some social contexts.
THERAVADA BUDDHISM AND BUDDHIST NATIONALISM: SRI LANKA, MYANMAR, CAMBODIA, AN...MYO AUNG Myanmar
https://www.academia.edu/30206661/THERAVADA_BUDDHISM_AND_BUDDHIST_NATIONALISM_SRI_LANKA_MYANMAR_CAMBODIA_AND_THAILAND?auto=download
Published as “Theravada Buddhism and Buddhist Nationalism: Sri Lanka, Myanmar, Cambodia, and Thailand,”
The Review of Faith and International Affairs
THERAVADA BUDDHISM AND BUDDHIST NATIONALISM:SRI LANKA, MYANMAR, CAMBODIA, AND THAILAND
By Charles KeyesProfessor Professor
Join us to learn how the APN can accelerate and support your cloud business strategy. The session will highlight the various routes to market, programs and resources available to AWS Customers and Partners looking to grow and develop their business on AWS.
Monográfico: Acontecimientos histórico-pedagógicos del Siglo XVIII.Carmenjdloa
Este documento resume las ideas educativas de varios ilustrados españoles del siglo XVIII como Jovellanos, Sarmiento, Campomanes y Feijoo. Discuten temas como la educación primaria pública y gratuita, una educación basada en la razón y las ciencias, y reformas a las universidades. También describe eventos históricos como la expulsión de los jesuitas ordenada por Carlos III y las reformas educativas propuestas por Olivade.
A Cortland native named Joey Maynard has opened a barbecue food truck called Pig Vycious in Cortlandville. After working in restaurants as a teen and living in the South where he sampled various barbecue styles, Maynard was inspired to bring barbecue to the Cortland community. He purchased a food truck last year and invested $35,000 in renovations, serving pulled pork, brisket, ribs and sandwiches. Maynard hopes to partner with local schools and organizations to give back to the community and become a staple of the area.
El documento habla sobre correo electrónico y sus funciones principales como adjuntar archivos y añadir una firma. También describe las diferentes operaciones que se pueden realizar con los mensajes de correo como responder, reenviar o eliminar. Explica los diferentes tipos de buscadores como los spiders, directorios y sistemas mixtos y algunos ejemplos populares como Google, Yahoo y Metabuscadores. Finalmente, menciona los seis principales buscadores destacando a Google como el más grande.
1. Persamaan kuadrat dengan akar X1=3 dan X2=-1
2. Matematika adalah ilmu otonom yang memainkan peran penting dalam ilmu pengetahuan modern serta dipengaruhi dan mempengaruhi ilmu lain
3. Volume tabung dihitung berdasarkan jari-jari 14 cm dan tinggi 12 cm
La planificación estratégica es un proceso sistemático para alcanzar objetivos a través del desarrollo e implementación de planes. Se usa comúnmente en negocios y militares para establecer una dirección general y estrategias en áreas como finanzas, recursos humanos, tecnología e información y marketing. También puede aplicarse a campañas electorales, deportes y juegos de estrategia.
La resolución 04/2015 del 11 de diciembre de 2015 en Valdivia establece los resultados de la elección del centro de estudiantes de Química y Farmacia, en la que se contabilizaron un total de 48 votos, con 34 votos (70.8%) a favor de la Lista A, 12 votos (29.2%) en contra de la Lista A, y 1 voto en blanco y 1 voto nulo.
A Research Paper presented entitled," Human Rights to Education in India:Theravada Buddhism Education for New-Buddhists", Ram Avdhesh Singh, Asst. Professor, NERIE (NCERT) Umaim, Shillong, in the National Conference on Quality Education in the Present Scenario, dated 23-24th, Feb.2017 was held at NEREI (NCERT) Umaim, Shillong.
Buddhism is a way of life focused on three trainings: virtue and ethics through following precepts, meditation and mental development, and wisdom. The core teachings are the Four Noble Truths about suffering and its causes and end, and the Eightfold Path to end suffering through right understanding, intention, speech, action, livelihood, effort, mindfulness, and concentration. Key figures are the Buddha, originally named Siddhartha Gotama, who achieved enlightenment and taught these principles, and major holidays celebrate his life and teachings.
Amazon Relational Database Service (Amazon RDS) provides a fully managed relational database service. The presentation discusses key features of RDS including security, customer stories, migration, monitoring, scaling, backups and high availability. It compares Amazon Aurora to MySQL databases and discusses trade-offs of using a managed database service versus self-managed databases.
HUMAN RIGHT EDUCATION AND GOOD CITIZENSHIPRhon Paigao
This document discusses human rights education. It defines human rights education as all learning that develops knowledge, skills and values of human rights. It explains that human rights education grew in recognition as a tool for social change and increasing awareness of rights for all. The document outlines that the UN declared a decade for human rights education to strengthen respect for human rights and promote understanding between groups. It discusses models of human rights education including values and awareness, accountability, and transformational models. The importance of teaching human rights and citizenship in formal education is also addressed.
Este documento presenta un resumen de un trabajo de investigación sobre el estrés en estudiantes de tercer año de bachillerato en la Unidad Educativa "Santo Domingo de los Colorados". El trabajo fue realizado por dos estudiantes, Milady Carolina Torres Torres y Saúl Alejandro Sánchez Pasaco, bajo la tutela de la profesora Jenny Suarez. El documento incluye una introducción, índice, marco teórico y metodología del estudio. El objetivo general fue conocer y analizar los factores causantes del estrés en
Human nature refers to inherent characteristics shared by all humans, including ways of thinking, feeling, and acting. There are various views on human nature from different philosophical and religious perspectives. Family has a strong influence on the development of human nature through factors like genetics, upbringing, and education. The outside world and social relationships also shape human nature by both positively impacting traits like friendship and negatively through things like jealousy. Overall, human nature is complex with both good and bad elements influenced by innate qualities as well as one's environment and experiences.
This document discusses the effects of sexual assault on males and how to assist male victims. It begins by distinguishing common myths from facts regarding male sexual assault. It then explores how gender socialization shapes male identity and emotions in a way that contradicts the experience of sexual assault. Specifically, males are socialized to suppress vulnerability but assault induces overwhelming vulnerable emotions. As a result, males may struggle with feelings of legitimacy, masculinity, and homosexuality. The document outlines negative impacts male victims may face and provides recommendations for advocates, such as acknowledging social conditioning, permitting a full range of emotional responses, and making referrals to appropriate support services.
Taboos Associated with Men's Mental Health | Solh WellnessSolh Wellness
Break the taboos surrounding men's mental health. Explore stigma around masculinity and support for men's well-being in this empowering blog by Solh Wellness.
Student Wellness Newsletter-- The Chill (4th Ed.): Gender and Self-EsteemAlexandra Rupp
This document summarizes the contents of the spring 2015 issue of "The Chill" newsletter. It explores how gender identity, roles, and expectations influence body image and self-esteem. The issue defines key terms like gender, biological sex, gender identity, and sexual orientation. It discusses how gender roles and stereotypes are socially constructed and can limit potential. It also addresses patriarchal social systems, feminism, and how media enforces gender stereotypes. The goal is to help readers understand gender issues and build healthy self-esteem.
Question #1 Please choose ONE of the following to make an origi.docxsimonlbentley59018
Question #1:
Please choose ONE of the following to make an original response. Focus on quality, CRITICAL THINKING, sharing YOUR perspectives/ideas with a little bit of support for your assertions.
Violence and Women
:
Violence against females is a worldwide issue. What types of gender roles, cultural beliefs, political systems, and SOCIALIZATIONS influence and tolerate violence against women? Think deeply; what types of things are said or behaviors condoned or tolerated that cause, promote, or sustain violence against women? Provide support.
Violence and Men:
Violence against men, between men, and by men is a worldwide issue (no male bashing here, just going by prevalence rates). What types of gender roles, cultural beliefs, political systems, socialization processes, impact violence for men? Specifically, what do we say and do as a culture (not necessary you) to teach, condone, sustain certain masculine characteristics that could lead to violence? What can be done to help counteract unhealthy aspects of socialization? Pay attention to why you think women may have less rates of violence due to psychological or socialization processes.
Violence against non-binary
(including but not limited to binary transgender, non-binary transgender, non-binary in general, agender, bigender, gender fluid). What types of gender expected roles, cultural beliefs, socialization processes, attitudes, political systems, religious systems, and misinformation/myths contribute to violence towards non-binary persons? How does biopsychosocial scientific evidence challenge misconceptions? Include in your critical thought important measures needed to reduce violence.
Helping and Gender:
Discuss whether or not you see gender differences in helping behaviors of males vs. females. Be specific. Some examples: Are men more kind or females? How about instrumental vs. communicative style? Which gender might be rewarded more for specific helping behaviors: do we reward men for doing the dishes than women? Do we say men are instrumental ignoring the vast amount of "doing to show love" by women? Do we praise women for being more communicative in helping others while shaming men for having male to male "heart to hearts talks?" Does what we do, along gender lines, in terms of helping on a daily basis show a societal value and expectation that is gender influenced? Ex: Helping by caring for others, helping by protecting, helping by serving in different roles, help by risking life?
Self Efficacy
: Elaborate on the concepts of self-efficacy and gender. What aspects of gender identity or socialization may impact a person's sense of confidence, ability, and mastery? Elaborate and provide examples.
Sexuality as vulnerability:
Compare and contrast the concept of sexuality as a weakness/vulnerability between males, females, non-binary and those with non-hetero attractions. Provide some specific examples and let me see your critical thinking. Are male, female, and/or no.
Gender & Human Sexuality - MAPEH 8 (Health 1st Quarter)Carlo Luna
The document discusses concepts of gender and human sexuality, explaining that sexuality is an important part of one's personality from birth through adulthood. It aims to provide education on these topics to help students make intelligent decisions about sexual behaviors and mature into well-rounded adults. Several lessons define key terms, discuss factors influencing sexuality, and promote developing a healthy sexuality through life skills and decision making.
This is a note in Personal Development. It tackles about the challenges of middle and late adolescence in their personal development.
#Personal Development
#Week 4 Topic
#Middle and Late Adolescence
#Challenges in Personal Development
Everyone has the potential to create healthy, satisfying relationships. By gaining a deeper understanding of men, women can unlock the secret to building strong, meaningful connections. "How to Understand a Man" help you explore the psychology of men, communication differences between the genders, men's emotional lives, and the importance of respect. Through this book, you will learn practical strategies for improving communication, recognizing men's needs, and creating a stronger, more fulfilling relationship with the men in your life.
So, whether you're seeking to improve an existing relationship or just want to understand men better, "How to Understand a Man" is the perfect guide for you.
Relationships can provide support, love, security and self-esteem. Positive relationships are associated with better health choices, while a lack of social support carries risks like heart disease. Relationships change over time and problems may arise requiring communication and honesty. Ending relationships can result in emotions like grief, especially for teenagers, which impacts development. Different people experience and express grief in various ways.
Facilitating an open discussion about abuse with 7th grade students. All too often abuse remains in shameful shadows. Information is power when informing students about abuse in a positive, sensitive way.
This pdf is a short document explaining more about Mental Toughness. What it is. What it is not. Mental Toughness and it's importance, some evidence base and further reading.
Kit de herramientas de resiliencia emocional proporciona una guía práctica para promover la resiliencia en la adolescencia como parte de un programa integrado de salud y bienestar
This document provides information about sexual harassment training for employees. It defines sexual harassment as unwelcome sexual advances, requests for favors, and other verbal or physical harassment. There are two forms: quid pro quo, where favors are exchanged for sexual acts, and creating a hostile work environment through inappropriate behavior. While intent does not matter, impact does. Humor and jokes can often be risky and count as harassment depending on how they are received. Employees should avoid any behaviors they would not want published or that could make others uncomfortable. If experienced, harassment should be reported through the proper channels, and retaliation is illegal.
This document discusses human sexuality education. It begins with objectives of discussing sexuality as an important part of personality, explaining dimensions of human sexuality, and analyzing factors affecting attitudes and practices related to sexuality. It then discusses sexuality as a natural part of being male or female involving gender identity. It addresses sexuality as a developmental process involving physical, mental, social, emotional and ethical aspects. It stresses the importance of self-knowledge, self-love, self-confidence, self-respect and self-expression for healthy sexuality. Key terms like gender, gender roles and sexuality are analyzed. The document emphasizes using life skills like decision making and communication to improve sexual health.
Here's an easy to follow guide that covers exactly how to meditate for beginners. In this comprehensive guide we will cover exactly: where to meditate, how to meditate, what to do with your mind, how long to do it for, and even how long before you start seeing benefits.
Click here: https://bit.ly/3kpsi6e
World-Renowned Doctor Saves This Dying Grandma's Life By Uncovering The 10 Second Ancient “Fat Hack” That Removes Up To 11 Pounds Of Deadly-Visceral-Fat Every 7 Days...
The document discusses the importance of mentoring boys and guiding them into healthy manhood. It notes that society has become more complicated, making it difficult for boys to learn from parents who are busy pursuing careers. Men need to make time to speak to boys about the changes they are experiencing and be role models. The document provides guidance on how to support boys' development, including encouraging nurturing behaviors, having open discussions about difficult topics, helping them express feelings, and opportunities to participate in their community. The conclusion calls on men to take their role in mentoring boys seriously to help the next generation of men develop fully.
Understanding the basis of sexual issues must first be properly grasped before any assumptions can be made on its impact on an individual’s life. There are several different elements that eventually affect an individual’s sex life one way or another. Get all the info you
need here
This document discusses life skills and their importance for adolescents. It defines life skills as abilities that allow individuals to effectively deal with everyday challenges. The 10 core life skills according to the WHO are self-awareness, empathy, critical thinking, creative thinking, decision making, problem solving, effective communication, interpersonal relationships, coping with stress, and coping with emotions. Developing these skills helps adolescents build identity, manage emotions, develop relationships, and resist peer pressure.
1) Childhood abuse is disturbingly common, with 1 in 3 women and 1 in 6 men experiencing sexual abuse by age 16.
2) Abuse can leave "wounds" that negatively impact adult relationships if not healed, as survivors may be drawn to abusive or controlling partners due to a loss of personal power.
3) Hypnotherapy using age regression can help abuse survivors travel back to the traumatic memories to change their perceptions and arrive at a place of empowerment and forgiveness to no longer carry those wounded parts of their soul.
Sustainable Living Practice by A. Hoda.pptxafzalulhoda98
Sustainable living are methods and lifestyle choices aimed at reducing one's environmental impact to ensure the long-term health of the planet and its resources. These practices encompass various aspects of daily life, from energy consumption to waste management.
Emergency response preparedness for Monsoon in humanitarian response.Mohammed Nizam
Emergency Preparedness for Monsoon presentation will help to know the protection risks due to heavy monsoon in refugee camps, emergency response plan, anticipatory action plan, challenges for monsoon and mitigation measures.
Toxicity assessment of dispersit SPC 1000 on Escherichia coli and Pseudomonas...Open Access Research Paper
Unsustainable techniques, human activities, and laws used in the exploration and extraction of petroleum resources have wreaked havoc on the environment of the Niger Delta Region. This research assessed the toxicity of oil spill dispersant- Dispersit SPC 1000 on Escherichia coli and Pseudomonas spp. in water habitats. The bacteria were isolated following standard procedures by the spread plate technique. Percentage log survival was used as the toxicity index. The result of the findings showed that the survival rate decreased with increased concentration of Dispersit SPC 1000 and as the exposure periods increased while the mortality rate increased. The study also investigated the susceptibility of the test organisms to the toxicant concentrations and the result revealed a significant difference between the toxicant concentration and the susceptibility of the test isolates though the degree of toxicity differed in the isolates studied. It was observed that Dispersit SPC 1000 exerted a greater toxic effect on Pseudomonas spp. than on E. coli. The result of the 24th-hour acute toxicity of the toxicant at various concentrations showed that Dispersit SPC 1000 was more toxic to Escherichia coli (386.93) than Pseudomonas spp (459.72) in Freshwater and more toxic to Pseudomonas spp (15.96) than Escherichia coli (1293.96) in Marine water. This was evident in the lower LC50 for Escherichia coli in freshwater and Pseudomonas spp. in marine water.
Sustainable use of wild species: Target 5 of the global biodiversity framework
Being a man
1. Being a man
Introduction
‘The hardest thing to get over was being a victim. I am a man, a strong men. Men don’t get abused'. 38 year
old man from South Australia.
Gender, being a man or being a woman, is a significant aspect of our personal identity. Gender plays a large
part in how we live our lives and make sense of who we are. It also shapes both the experience of sexual abuse
and how men respond.
When we talk here about gender, we mean the social expectations, rules and norms that go with growing up
and living your life as a boy, girl, man or woman. Gender is different from sex, which relates to whether you
are born physically male or female. Typically, the first thing you are told or ask about a new born baby is
whether the baby is a boy or a girl (gender), this then influences how the child is dressed, what presents they
are bought as they grow up, what sports they play, how they are treated by others and how they come to see
and think about themselves.
In examining how messages about living life as a boy or man, influence the way men understand and cope
with being subjected to sexual abuse, we do not suggest that men's experiences are worse than women's
experiences. More, that it is important to acknowledge and be aware of how gender operates and can create
particular challenges and difficulties in people's lives.
Some common 'gender messages' for men
Every man has his own experiences and beliefs about what it means to be a man. At the same time, men face
some common social pressures about how they should behave, feel and think. These pressures influence how
men respond to different situations at different times. Men can feel under pressure to always appear:
Strong and powerful – physically and mentally
Self reliant, able to sort out and deal with problems alone
In control – not showing any vulnerabilities
Rational, logical
Not express 'difficult' emotions
Interested in and ready for sex (at all ages)
This restrictive model of manhood is often presented as something natural, with the suggestion that men are
just born this way and that a 'real man' doesn't have to work at being a man. In reality, we 'learn to become a
man:' these ways of being a man aren't the product of our biology. In growing up, men and boys learn to live
2. and be compared to this idealized model, soon finding out if they are not acting in a way considered man
enough!
Some technical stuff
In our culture, gender operates as a binary system. What we mean by this is that behaviours and qualities have
become allocated or divided up according to whether they are considered masculine or feminine, with the
expectations that men are not meant to act like a woman and women are not meant to act like a man. In this
system gender differences are often amplified, for example we often refer to men and women as the opposite
sex.
Double Trouble
‘it is very difficult to admit that it happened, to do this is to somehow almost not be a man’. Manager, Age 38,
sexually assaulted from age 12-13
Expectations related to how a man should be can lead to men experiencing 'double trouble.' As well as the
actual and traumatic experience of powerlessness involved in sexual abuse, men face the problem of how to
make sense of what was done and how they have responded as a man.
First, the idea that men should be strong and powerfuland able to defend themselves even against over
whelming odds, can have men being down on themselves for 'not fighting back' or 'getting the hell out of
there.'
It can be helpful for men to hear that one of the most common responses to trauma is to 'freeze,' (like a rabbit
in the headlights). Freezing, is not something someone can control, it is a response of our nervous system. It is
a response that might have saved your life or stopped things from being worse.
In our culture, the expectation to 'be a man', carries with it the pressure to not appear vulnerable, to not be 'a
victim.' This is clearly completely unrealistic, however we know it exists and men feel that pressure. Being
made to feel powerless and being a man seem like two incompatible things. These pressures can have men
evaluating and judging themselves negatively for 'being tricked,' for 'not measuring up,' when they would
benefit most from understanding and encouragement.
Second, the idea that men should be able to manage anything that is thrown at them and just 'keep soldiering
on,' can have men feeling pressure if they are struggling, believing that as a man “I should be able to sort this
out, to just put it behind me and get on with it.” Common responses to abuse, not wanting it to have happened
and feeling overwhelmed as a result can have men unfairly questioning and judging themselves as failing as a
man.
3. “It is important to remember that it is not your fault or your responsibility. The abuser is the only person
responsible and being male does not make what was done excusable.” Business owner, Age 25, sexually
abused from age 2-14
Building on the strengths
The experience of growing up as a boy and becoming a man in our culture introduces us to valuable skills and
knowledge for participating in and contributing to work, family and community life. Some of the 'masculine'
attributes that can produce difficulties for men who have experienced sexual abuse, can also be valuable
resources and strengths to draw upon. The challenge is to make use of the knowledge and skills men have
picked up without these becoming the only way we operate.
In a crisis or emergency and in some kinds of work, the ability to 'stay calm,' 'keep a level head' or 'hold it
together' is highly valued and sought after. These skills are not only usefulin some occupations, such as
working in medical and emergency services or high pressure workplace and business operations, but are
valuable life skills that help us to parent and assist members of our community every day.
Learning developed in relation to masculine stereotypes can be drawn upon in managing potentially
overwhelming emotions. For example;
Men's ability to manage and contain feelings of frustration, anger, sadness or distress are essential life
skills, particularly in situations where expressing these feelings might lead to further difficulties,
judgement or ridicule (men can sometimes be quite critical and harsh on each other).
Learning to deal with a panic attack without medication through 'being self reliant,' 'drawing on
problem solving skills' and 'remaining rational' can increase a man's confidence, give him more
independence, and help avoid embarrassment in social situations.
Navigating a way through
As a man dealing with an experience of sexual abuse, a challenge is to navigate a way through, where the
strength of developing self reliance does not become an Achilles’ heel and lead to isolation; where feeling
pressure to be in control does not limit choices or opportunities.
Isolation – Self Reliance – Connectedness
The potential difficulty with expectations of being self reliant, able to look after yourself and take care of
things is that when overdone it can have men becoming quite isolated. It can lead to men closing down and
keeping quiet, becoming reluctant to talk about what is going on for them. Unrealistic expectations to 'man up'
or 'harden up,' to 'push through' and 'just get on with it' can lead to men feeling they have to deal with problems
alone.
4. Men can believe it is a sign of weakness to ask for help with personalproblems, difficult thoughts or feelings.
Some of the things we know are helpful for recovering, like connecting with other people, are at odds with the
demands of self reliance. Yet in other areas of their life, men will routinely gather all the information and
support they can. If you have a problem with your car you can't fix, you take it to a mechanic or friend who
knows about cars. One of the most helpful things men can do to help themselves is to build relationships with
supportive people.
‘Healing takes time. Each man and boy are different and their needs are different. Respect their boundaries
and try to understand that even if they push you away, it is not to hurt you but because they are
hurting.'Business Owner, Age 25, sexually abused from age 2-14
Control – Choice
Another area to be sensitive to as a man is that pressure to be in controldoes not reduce choice and options.
Everybody wants to have some sense of controlover their own life. Control in this sense is not a bad thing.
This is extremely relevant for men who have been subjected to sexual abuse, because sexual abuse is about
having control and choice taken away. This could include controlover your body and how it reacted to the
abuse, or how you react to memories of the abuse now.
Unfortunately, there are also pressures for men to exert unreasonable, unrealistic or unfair levels of control
over themselves and/or others and this is where problems can arise. Men sometimes go to extreme lengths to
controlevery aspect of their emotions, lives and environment. Trying to control all emotions can be counter
productive in that it can both lead to complete numbness and set up a battle with emotions where we
continually feel out of control in not being able to control a natural response to an unwanted event.
If someone's sense of trust has been broken and they have been hurt, they can sometimes get into excessive
controlas a way to try and make sure they don't experience hurt again. This is when problems can arise,
because the need to be 'in control' can lead men to put undue pressure on themselves, to close down and isolate
themselves further or to try to control their immediate environment and lives of loved ones. Healthy
relationships are built on a foundation of respect and choice, not control. The challenge is to accept that,
although in the past someone may have abused your trust, not everyone you trust wants to hurt you or your
family. If you have children, it is important that they can explore the world and learn things for themselves, to
develop their skills, to let help them learn the challenges of life in safe ways. People might let you down from
time to time, and this can be hurtful; however these let downs can be part of a healthy relationship, and is quite
different from someone deliberately abusing your trust to hurt you.
5. The expectation for men to be in control is neither all good nor all bad. What's important is that choice is also
prioritised and enacted in relation to the kind of person you want to be and the respectfulrelationships you are
working to develop.
Sex and being a man
Sexual abuse and ideas about masculinity both influence men’s sex lives, and together they can produce a
complex minefield for men to navigate.
When we listen to men (who have been subjected to sexual abuse) speak about their struggles with sex, we are
often invited to think all these problems are caused by sexual abuse. We are mindful that, gender can intersect
with sexual abuse and add to men’s problems when they feel pressure to always:
be ready for sex;
be happy if a woman (in particular) wants to have sex with them; and
be able to perform without any problems
Experiences of sexual abuse can make sex itself seem abusive, and generate a lot of anxiety and fear about sex.
Managing the tension between these two sets of influences is extremely challenging.
Some men and their partners find it helpful to consciously put sex 'on the backburner' for a period of time, and
instead focus on intimacy and play. This can ease the pressure on both partners. It can also help to have open
and honest discussions with your partner about the anxieties that sex can raise for both of you, and what
support you need from each other. For example, men might worry that their partner feels rejected or
unattractive if he does not want sex. Openly discussing these issues can help to understand what each partner
really feels and thinks.
Some questions to consider:
A challenge we face as men is to be aware of expectations of being a man, whilst making sure they don't
restrict our choices and willingness to access support that helps us to live well.
Are there times you are particularly aware of expectations about howyou should handle
situations as a man?
Are there skills or qualities you have as a man that have been useful for getting through tough
times?
6. Are there qualities of 'mateship' and support that you have learned to value as a man that you
are able to share with other men?
Are there some places or people that don’t place these expectations on you?
Do you sometimes find yourself wondering about these expectations, and whether they really
suit you or those around you?
Have there been times when you've done what's best, even if it has gone against some ideas
about 'being a man?'
Sources utilised in developing this web page:
1in6.org
'Who can a man tell' booklet: View the PDF
South Eastern Centre Against Sexual Assault website: www.secasa.com.au
Maryam Kia-Keating, Lynn Sorsoli and Frances K. Grossman (2010) Relational Challenges and
Recovery Processes in Male Survivors of Childhood Sexual Abuse, Journal of InterpersonalViolence,
25: 666