PREMATURE EJACULATION IS one of the most common issues that cis-men and penis-owners bring into the sex therapy room. It can be incredibly upsetting to feel like you’re reaching climax before you’re ready. Luckily, there are tools that can help you.
Enter: The Squeeze Technique. This non-surgical, non-invasive sex therapy favorite is a tried and true method to help you feel more in control of your sexual response. What’s not to love about that?
And this one isn’t just for those experiencing PE. Dr. Anika Ackerman, a urologist specializing in sexual medicine, tells Men’s Health that “anyone could use the squeeze technique if they want to last longer in bed.”
Plus, it’s super easy to do! “It involves stopping and pausing stimulation before ejaculation actually happens. It can be a behavioral way of training the body to delay ejaculation, which is the goal for men [and penis owners] with PE,” Ackerman explains. Basically, you squeeze the head of the penis just before you’re about to get off – and it delays ejaculation.
Who knew a little squeeze was all that stood between you and lasting longer in the sack?
Step right up and read our in-depth guide to the squeeze technique… and together we’ll unpack how it works, how to do it, and whether this seemingly simple strategy really lives up to its lofty promise of better and more satisfying sexual experiences.
What is the squeeze technique?
The squeeze technique is used to aid in delaying premature ejaculation. Premature ejaculation is technically defined as reaching climax one minute or less after penetration during sex – but it can also include anyone who reaches ejaculation before they want to. With PE, the penis-owner goes from excitement to climax very quickly. While premature ejaculation is highly treatable, it can cause a lot of emotional distress for those who experience it. “It can be deeply disheartening when pleasure is cut short,” says Ruth Daly, a certified psychotherapist.
And this is why the squeeze technique is one of many resources in a sex therapist’s toolkit to aid in ejaculatory control.
The squeeze technique is rather straightforward. When you’re starting to feel close to orgasm, you squeeze the head of the penis with the forefinger and thumb. This temporarily prevents ejaculation. When used correctly, it can help you feel like you have more control over your sexual response. “In the longer term you’re also becoming more aware of the sensations involved, and what you are feeling and experiencing in your body at certain stages of your own sexual response,” says Nia Jane, a registered nurse and certified psychosexual therapist.
Who is it for?
While the squeeze technique is usually recommended by psychosexual therapists and sex coaches as a method to treat premature ejaculation amongst patients, the technique can be utilized by anyone who wants to last longer in bed and gain better control over their ejaculatory response.
But, that doesn’t mean this technique is for everyone carte blanche;Daly notes that it simply won’t be everyone’s cup of tea. “No method or technique is ever perfect,” they tell us. “For some, it can feel like a disruption to their natural rhythm and be incredibly frustrating as they try to master the technique.”
Additionally, Ackerman tells us that the squeeze technique may cause physical discomfort for some who use it. Everyone’s body responds differently to different kinds of stimulation. If you find that the squeeze technique is more trouble than it’s worth, Ackerman suggests using an alternative PE technique like the “stop/start” method. In this technique, the penis owner stimulates themselves to just before the point of no return, then stops all sensation, allowing the ejection to subside, and then stimulates themselves again.
Basically, when it comes to treating erectile issues, it’s different strokes for different folks.
Does it actually work?
Yes! It really does work. At least, for many people. Daly notes that no technique works for every single person – we’re all so different, after all.
There have been few studies on the effectiveness of the squeeze technique, but clinically, it has been shown to be highly effective as it provides an actual physical barrier to the ejaculation. It “disrupts the bulbospongiosus muscle which helps to propel semen out of the urethra,” Jane says.
With that being said, Jane notes that this technique is far more effective as a tool in a larger therapeutic journey, rather than as a go-to emergency brake. “It's really all about recognising what’s going on in your body, knowing that ‘point of no return’ as you approach it, and learning when to slow things down or reduce the level or intensity of stimulation, so that things don’t tip you over the edge before you’re ready,” she explains.
The benefits of the squeeze technique.
There are many benefits of the squeeze technique that go beyond the simple answer of “you’ll last longer before you orgasm.” Daly says that mastering this technique can aid in sexual empowerment and a feeling of control. They also point out that this technique is entirely noninvasive, making it very accessible to anyone who wants to try it. “Through consistent practice, individuals can experience rapid improvements in their sexual well-being,” they add.
Arguably, the greatest benefit of all is a renewed sense of connection between the body and mind. “This is something that quite often gets diminished with all sorts of sexual issues, because when things go ‘wrong’ with a part of us – especially the genitals - the last thing we want to do is dwell on it. Instead, we disconnect and try to completely forget about what’s going on down there,” Jane explains. Ironically, when we disconnect, we actually lose much of our control over our erections, so rebuilding that internal relationship is critical.
When we start using techniques that help us tune into our bodies, we can experience greater sexual satisfaction, intimacy, and overall confidence.
The downsides of this technique.
The squeeze technique is relatively harmless. It’s highly unlikely that you’ll cause any damage to your penis using the squeeze technique. The only thing to be cautious of is how hard you’re squeezing it. Be firm, but don’t grip so hard it causes pain. Be careful and you should be just fine.
What is more likely to happen, Jane tells us, is a bit of epididymal hypertension due to venous congestion. What in the what now?, you might be asking. In short: Blue balls. Using this technique might cause blue balls.
“Blue balls” describes discomfort in the scrotum, penis, and/or pelvis when sexual tension is built up, with no release. It is temporary and will go away on its own – either with time, masturbation or other sexual activity to ~finish the job.~
And just a reminder: No one in the history of the universe has ever been so full of cum that they caused themselves permanent damage. You can easily relieve blue balls by popping into the bathroom to have one off the wrist. It is not your partner’s responsibility to “finish you off” – unless they want to, of course.
Lastly, Daly says that using this method may not be enough to treat the underlying conditions causing the PE in the first place – such as performance anxiety and other mental health concerns. For this reason, the squeeze technique is recommended to be used in tandem with psychosexual therapy. It can certainly be an effective tool, but it shouldn’t be used as a band-aid for bigger issues without doing the deeper work.
How to do the squeeze technique.
Here is a step-by-step guide to using this technique, with the help of our brilliant experts.
- Stimulate the penis: Engage in sexual activity as normal until you feel you’re close to orgasm. You can do this partnered or solo – but we recommend mastering it on your own first.
- Pause the stimulation: When you get to that point of no return, stop what you’re doing.
- Bring on the squeeze: Place your thumb on the frenulum (which is the area just below the head of the penis) and your index and middle fingers on the top of the penis. Squeeze firmly for 20 seconds. Be sure not to cause pain.
- Wait: Release the squeeze and pause until the urge to ejaculate decreases.
- Start stimulation again: Resume sexual activity. Repeat the squeeze technique – try it 3 to 4 times, and then allow yourself to ejaculate.
- Repeat the technique: Try this technique on repeat until you feel you’ve gained more control over your erections.
There is nothing wrong with needing a helping hand when it comes to experiencing greater control over your erections. Take your time. Have patience with yourself. And party on.
