Lockesdonkey

Lockesdonkey is just another guy with a bit of knowledge and time. That's all you really need to know.

That said: Userboxes:

This user is a native speaker of the English language.

This user is a native speaker of American English.

هذا المستخدم يستطيع المساهمة بالعربية بمستوى ممتاز.

اليوزر ده بيتكلم مصرى.‏

Este usuario puede contribuir con un nivel básico de español.

該用戶能以基本的中文進行交流。
该用户能以基本的中文进行交流。

Assorted Nonsense

This user has been on Wikipedia for 19 years and 3 days.

This user has been editing Wikipedia for more than 15 years.

This user is a lawyer.

This user is a fluent speaker of blazon.

A, B, and C

This user prefers the serial comma.

This user is an Ordoliberal (sort of).

.....

This user is a professional procrastinator.

This user's time zone is EST.

This user is an Urbanist.

This user lives in or hails from Philadelphia.

This user is a native of the U.S. State of Michigan.

This user uses entirely too many userboxes.