The greatest Twins commercials of all-time

In between work hours, travel to other ballparks, and existential crises over a slow Minnesota Twins start to 2024, I’ve recently begun a full series re-watch of Mad Men—one of my all-time favorite shows. As I watch Don Draper and his gang of caddish day-drinkers sell the American Dream, it got me thinking about the best Twins commercials.

From the early 2000s to the first few years of the Target Field era, the Twins perpetuated a pretty remarkable self-advertising campaign featuring some classic TV spots. So sit back, poor yourself a tumbler, and let’s give Madison Avenue a run for its money.

Get-To-Know-’Em Era

When the Twins rose to prominence again in 2001, they did so with a colorful group of characters that lent themselves well to comedic spots. You had dancing Eddie Guardado, lumberjack Corey Koskie, and piñata-blasting Torii Hunter.

But to me, the most memorable vignette of this era was for the speedy Cristian Guzman (he did, in fact, have a little beard):

If you walk by U.S. Bank Stadium and listen really, really closely, you can still hear that bionic sound (nanananananana...) echoing in the breeze.

Piranha Era

After establishing themselves as bona fide contenders, the Twins were able to expand the scope of their spots in the mid-2000s. Al Newman waved in an office warrior, teens fawned over Joe Mauer and not Pat Neshek (has Joe’s favorite cheese ever been disclosed?!), and the pitching staff warbled for joy.

Difficult as it may be not to award top honors to baritone Boof Bonser, the vehicular adventures of Cy Santana and The Nathanator take the cake here:

Johan: “All you do is fast”

Joe: “All you do is change speeds”

Johan: “That’s how you win Cy Youngs, baby”

Classic.

Target Field Era

When it was time to move from Baggie to blue sky, the intrigue of Target Field produced some good material. The M&M boys took hardhat BP, fair-weather fans got the dreaded triple dog dare, and TC Bear had to be lured out of climate control by processed meat.

As good as that Target Field anticipation was, however, it couldn’t hold a candle to my all-time favorite Twins Territory ad:

“Thome’s really taken to this Minnesota thing, huh?” Absolute perfection.

With Twins games currently airing on a network that could go belly-up at any moment, prime advertising isn’t really much of a thing these days. If you have a favorite Twins commercial not covered here, feel free to drop it in the comments!