Guardians 11, Twins 4: We’ve got a streak again, but this one sux

The upside: Byron Buxton's back, folks!

The downside, as Minnesota1952 put it: "Mediocre starting pitching, mediocre relief pitching, abysmal batting, peace out. Oh and mediocre fielding as well."

(What does "Minnesota1952" mean? The Twins haven’t been here that long. Is it how long this person has lived in our fine state? You never want to ask too many questions... you never know when the answer will be "that's the last year before Satanists took over the public schools and turned Minnesota into Communist Russia.")

Speaking of Satanists, Bailey Ober has been one of Minnesota's most consistent pitchers the past two seasons. But... the devil's in the details. And Ober's found it infernally difficult to get good hitters out with two strikes, lately.

Right from the start, he ran into it again. José Ramírez fouled off SIX two-strike pitches before deciding he'd toyed with us enough, and launched one into the fans in right field. (Not literally "into." The ball did not embed itself in anyone's abdomen.)

Ober threw 38 pitches that first inning, and if you're like me, you basically decided "he doesn't have it today, the bullpen hasn't had it for a week," and tuned out.

I mean, the Twins had another GIDP in the first inning. Not a BAbip fluke. Just a really sad rolling grounder. It feels right now like the offense is an old family pet that needs to be put down.

I'm sorry if that brings back sad memories for anyone of old beloved family pets. Let's say instead that the offense is a mean old uncle who needs to be put down. The one who screams things like "1952 was the year the Satanists..." etc.

There was some semblance of life in the ninth inning. Nothing serious -- the Twins were down 11-0! But something to maybe be optimistic about. Buxton had a hit with runners in scoring position, the Twins have struggled with this recently! Then Carlos Santana did! Then Kyle Farmer did! Points were amassed!

Granted, this was off the mop-up reliever, but it’s still a good thing.

How were the Twins relievers? Let's look at the box score...

On second thought, let's not look at the boxscore, it is a silly place.

Suffice it to say, Ober allowed five runs in four innings, the final score is above, you can all do math. I hope you can. If not... oh, wow, maybe Minnesota1952 is onto something...

Studs: Buxton's various ligaments and muscles and bones for not hurting one of our favorite guys.

Duds: Let’s just say it was a team effort.

Final thought. I remember when Jim Thome used to torment the Twins. It was painful, but I respected the hell out of the guy. When it was Francisco Lindor, it was painful, but that dude played a mean shortstop position.

I don't really have any vibe on José Ramírez. Is he a famously great or bad fielder? I dunno. A famously respected personality, like Thome? I dunno. Or just a good player who whoops on the Twins a lot? This much is certain.

Tomorrow's game at 12:40 features Slump-Buster Chris Paddack matched against Cleveland starter Tanner Bibee. In Bibee's mlb.com photo, one of his ears sticks out more than the other. I have this, too. It is a mark of taste and sophistication, my friends!