I come bearing some bad news. A few months ago I wrote that sex was “back” for the 2024 Paris Olympics. It seemed true at the time. A report stated that there would be around 300,000 condoms available to the athletes, and the director of the Olympic Village said that fostering a sense of “conviviality” (wink, wink) was important to him. But it seems that was all just talk, because instead of investing in sex-friendly bed frames, the Olympics have brought back the infamous “anti-sex” beds from the 2020 (held in 2021) Tokyo Games.
Of course, the International Olympic Committee would never come right out and say these twin-size beds made of cardboard are intentionally sex-negative. From the committee’s point of view, this is all about sustainability. “I hope Paris 2024’s efforts to reduce its impacts can demonstrate that it is possible to do things differently,” Georgina Grenon, the director of environmental excellence for the Games recently told the French outlet AFP.
She is right that it is possible to do things differently. For example, if you are used to having sex in a normal bed, but you only have access to a cardboard bed made for one person, you will probably find a new way to have sex. These Olympians are the most athletic people in the world, and they’ll be experiencing the highest highs and lowest lows of their life. In Paris, of all places. They are going to find a way to bang, beds be damned.