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Listen, it’s not as though getting an apartment in New York has ever been easy. But one could probably argue that it has never been harder than it is right now. The most god-awful studios are regularly renting for thousands and thousands of dollars with lines of interested tenants out the door. Here, we’ll find the actually worth-looking-ats, the actually worth-the-costs, and the surprisingly affordable-for-those-parquet-floors from all around the internet.
This week was mostly Queens with a touch of Greenpoint, a dash of Bushwick, and (if we’re to continue the cooking metaphor) a sprinkling of Soho. Queens was lovely — highlights included a few freestanding homes under $5K, a converted loft that obviously got my attention, and a charming writing garret! After my trip to Queens, I took a depressing twirl around downtown (maybe I have to stop doing that to myself) where there was such a dearth of realistic, livable options. It’s looking harder and harder to find an apartment in Manhattan under $5K these days. But I tried my best!
Astoria Apartment Listings
$2,800, two-bedroom: Imagine it without clutter and with a brand-new paint job.
$4,000, four-bedroom: Four thousand dollars for four bedrooms — you do the math (the math is good).
$2,975, two-bedroom: I’m a big fan of a kitchen that leads onto a terrace — there’s something very un–New York and romantic about it.
$3,500, one-bedroom: Surprised this is only 685 square feet because it seems much larger. Probably because of the incredibly high ceilings in this loft building, which was previously a piano factory. A huge pro is the generous outdoor space that basically mirrors the square footage inside.
$7,000, three-bedroom: Don’t love the exposed brick, and something about the new windows feels imposing … but other than that, there’s a lot to like about this squat house.
$2,500, two-bedroom: First things first: Rip out the wall-to-wall red carpeting and paint the whole place white. Except the charming tiled bathroom, of course.
$4,250, three-bedroom: For the price-to-size ratio, she’s perfect.
Sunnyside Apartment Listings
$2,245, one-bedroom: This is what one-bedrooms of this caliber should cost.
$2,165, one-bedroom: Okay, scratch that. This is what a one-bedroom should cost.
$1,590, studio: The aforementioned garret! What a lovely two-floored space.
Bushwick Apartment Listings
$4,595, two-bedroom: This is a stunningggggggggg two-bedroom floor-through with all the good stuff: cute tile backsplash in the kitchen, outdoor space, tons of natural light.
Greenpoint Apartment Listings
$2,500, one-bedroom: All the Greenpoint apartments with their sad railroad-style middle rooms that no one has ever figured out what to do with. Regardless, this is cute at a manageable price point.
$2,950, one-bedroom: Another Greenpoint railroad apartment with another bleak middle space! It’s like purgatory. The dreaded liminal space!
$4,580, one-bedroom: I dunno, guys, call me a sellout, but I’m liking what this new construction is putting down.
$3,500, one-bedroom: Cute if not a little cramped. Seems these tenants used the limbo space to create more storage for clothes — smart!
$5,500, two-bedroom: A nice space that has been ruined by a hideous, cheap kitchen and overvarnished floors. But a nice space still.
Greenwich Village / Soho Apartment Listings
$3,595, studio: If you want to live in the corner of a charming basement, this may be the perfect place.
$11,300, one-bedroom: The price is astonishing, but the glass atrium is too!
$8,700, two-bedroom: Any apartment with a giant beam in the center of it has my heart.
$5,300, one-bedroom: At the risk of sounding like a broken record, it’s crazy to me that this is on the affordable end. But it’s perfectly nice — the kitchen is actually appropriately sized, the arched cutout is nice, and there’s a decorative fireplace.
$11,500, one-bedroom: JHFTW (just here for the windows).
$4,295, one-bedroom: You need a magnifying glass to see the kitchen, but besides that, this one has some personality: the hearth (yes, I’m calling it a hearth to lend it more grandeur), the ceiling motif, the arched passageway.
$5,500, two-bedroom: So tiny!! But some charm.
$3,300, studio: This one gets the Wackiest and Most Affordable Greenwich Village Apartment award of this week.
This Versus That
This week, I found a house in Astoria and an apartment in Soho with similar price tags, so I thought I would compare the two to see what you’re giving up and what you’re gaining. The place in Astoria is a $4,900, three-bedroom, two-story house with (less than perfect) outdoor space. While there’s room for improvement, there’s a lot to like: The first floor blends charm and function well, I like the living area with the couch that’s vignetted by bookshelves, the kitchen is nicely updated with a big marble island and good appliances, and there’s a projector that pulls down and cleverly divides the space for movie nights. The upstairs underwhelms, but small changes could be made to brighten things up a bit; the fixtures could be traded out, the walls could be painted, and curtains could be nice.
Now, let’s go over to Greenwich Village, the land of criminally small, unaffordable apartments. Granted, this apartment has some charming aspects! I like the wooden galley between the bedroom and the kitchen that gives the space a shiplike feel (why am I always looking for details with a shiplike feeling?). The primary bedroom gets a lot of natural light, which is honestly what saves this apartment from being unlivable. The rest of the space is so cramped that calling this a two-bedroom is a stretch. It seems the tenants are using what should be an office or a closet as a second bedroom, but I get it: We do what we must. Suffice it to say there is no room for a bath, just a tiny shower stall, and obviously there is no outdoor space. What would you do if you were looking for a two-bedroom?
I’ll leave you with a gorgeous 7,600-square-foot Queen Anne Victorian for under $1 million in Warsaw, New York. Because this is what a real backyard should look like.
More real estate stories
- A Startlingly Well-Priced Fieldston One-Bedroom
- Pine Floors and a Porch to Lounge On in Greenport
- A Greenwich Village Townhouse With a Secret, Shared Garden