Any Old Iron

« The Transformers: Ironhide #4
I wouldn't give you tuppence for your old watch and chain.
"Any Old Iron"
Publisher	IDW Publishing
First published	August 4, 2010
Written by	Mike Costa
Art by	Casey Coller
Colors by	Joana Lafuente
Letters by	Neil Uyetake
Editor	Andy Schmidt
Assistant editor	Carlos Guzman
Continuity	2005 IDW continuity
Chronology	Current era (2010)

Ironhide kicks some serious skidplate.

Synopsis

On Cybertron, Ironhide is tearing his way through a mass of Insecticon swarm when his rifle is destroyed, forcing him to resort to his fists. As the creatures surround him, he calls Alpha Trion for help and advice, but the crazy old Autobot merely suggests he improvise. With one of the swarm having torn off Ironhide's battery pack, the Autobot draws his sidearm and fires into the battery at point-blank range, causing a tremendous explosion that wipes out the swarm in the immediate vicinity. Considering that improvisation just isn't his strong suit, Ironhide runs from the carnage until he spots a crashed Autobot cruiser.

Smashing his way inside and killing the current inhabitants of the derelict ship, Ironhide restores power to the remaining weapons, then blasts the approaching swarm to smithereens. Unfortunately, even this display of firepower isn't enough to hold back the monstrosities, who eventually flank the ship's cannons and chew through the hull. Ironhide sets off the self-destruction on the downed Autobot starship and ejects, destroying most of the remaining swarm in another huge explosion. However, Ironhide's luck has run out: Without weapons and completely surrounded, he is gradually overwhelmed and will be defeated. Alpha Trion finally gives orders to retreat when Ironhide reports that there are perhaps two hundred of the swarm left. As he runs, Ironhide comments that the crazy old kook better have a good plan.

Then a gigantic robot smashes the remaining swarm into a pulp.

Alpha Trion and his aide appear, explaining that the giant Autobot is Metroplex, Alpha's guardian. An exasperated Ironhide demands to know why he had to risk his neck when such a powerful Autobot could have effortlessly destroyed the swarm on his own. As Metroplex transforms into vehicle mode, Alpha Trion explains that there were simply too many for the lumbering giant to deal with, and they would have eaten their way into his vital processors, and obviously, the great Alpha Trion couldn't fight off the swarm. He then reveals a newly repaired (albeit confined to a hover chair) Sunstreaker, who marvels at being in the presence of the great Alpha Trion and questions if Ironhide really doesn't remember anything for the past few million years. When Ironhide asks what they will do next, Alpha reveals that he will be leaving Cybertron, while Ironhide stays behind to clean up rogue colonies of remaining Insecticons. Leaving an experimental recharge fuel cell with Ironhide, Alpha also reveals that Sunstreaker will be coming along with him, as the latter has had some unique experiences with the human race.

Of course, Ironhide professes ignorance of events he doesn't remember, leading Alpha Trion to condescend that perhaps Ironhide should make a list of all the things he doesn't understand, which will more than pass the time it takes Alpha's group to arrive at Varas Centralus. Fed up with the crazy old man's superior attitude and his callous treatment, Ironhide snaps and decks him, to the shock of Sunstreaker and Alpha's aide. An indignant Alpha Trion snaps that his guardian is as big as a city, and Ironhide counters that he just killed the equivalent population of a city, so which one of them should be afraid? Calming down, Alpha explains that a soldier like Ironhide would just get in the way, because where he's going will not require the skills of a warrior. As for what Alpha had been doing all this time, he and Metroplex had been processing Cybertron's atmosphere, removing the deadly toxins in the air and much of the deadly radiation, efforts which saved the Autobots lives when they were marooned on the dead planet. Knowing that Ironhide wouldn't remember since his resurrection, Alpha emphasizes that Ironhide is merely a small playing piece in a very large game, and that he shouldn't throw his life away by taking on a task bigger than he can understand.

At that, Sunstreaker reveals he is staying put with Ironhide. Alpha tries to reason that Ironhide wouldn't know how to fix his leg, but Sunstreaker says that he's made a lot of selfish choices for which he is not proud, and that if Ironhide still has work to do on Cybertron, work that would benefit the Autobots, he needs to be a part of that. Exasperated, Alpha Trion comments that they shouldn't blame him if they both go stir-crazy and kill each other, because he knows that being alone does funny things to one's mind. As Alpha leaves, Ironhide stops him and asks how he knew he was going to be killed. Trion brushes off the question, saying that given Ironhide's tendency to dive head-first into battle and throw himself in the path of weapons fire to protect other Autobots, his death was an inevitability. Boarding Metroplex, Alpha remarks that Ironhide should look on the bright side: He just saved an entire planet. The only other Autobot who could say that is... himself.

After Alpha leaves, Sunstreaker tries to confess to Ironhide about the horrible things he did that the latter doesn't remember. However, needing to reflect upon recent events, Ironhide requests that he be filled in later, given all the time they will have together, and Sunstreaker reluctantly agrees. The old, tired Autobot soldier wanders off into the distance, finding a place to be alone with his thoughts.

Featured characters

(Numbers indicate order of appearance.)

Quotes

"I know. Look, why don't we save time and you just make a list of all the things you don't understand? That way, I'll be all the way to Varas Centralus before you finish."

—Alpha Trion is a condescending piston rod.

Notes

• This issue tries to reconcile pre-All Hail Megatron Cybertron (uninhabitable and toxic due to radiation) with Cybertron as-seen since then (radioactive, but not enough for anyone to actually comment on it): Alpha Trion has been working behind-the-scenes with Metroplex to eliminate the radioactive elements from the atmosphere. However, Prime's Autobots were dumped on Cybertron at the start of the Decepticon Surge, while Metroplex was shown to be have been in hiding on some other planet in Spotlight: Metroplex at about the same time - which makes the timing a little iffy, but hey, points for trying!
• Metroplex is finally revealed in this issue, though he appeared in the last two issues in a city mode that (for the purposes of keeping both the reader and Ironhide in the dark) looked nothing like his recognizable city mode. His appearance also finally explains who/what Metroplex was protecting, as he stated in "Spotlight: Metroplex".

Real World References

• The title of the issue is taken from the old music hall song "Any Old Iron".

Covers (3)

• Cover A: Ironhide threatens Alpha Trion; art by Marcelo Matere and colors by Priscilla Tramontano.
• Cover B: Ironhide ready to chew up some Insectichops; art by Casey Coller with colors by Joana Lafuente.
• Cover RI: Text-free "virgin" version of Cover B.

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Other than collections of the full series

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