You're Not Lost

Editor's Notes

1. KIM Thank you for joining us for today’s webinar “Polish Your LinkedIn Profile For Success.” Before we get started I have just a few housekeeping items I’d like to go over.
2. KIM: INTRODUCE SELF Maxie’s Bio: Maxie McCoy is a writer and speaker obsessed with giving women the tools they need to believe in themselves. Committed to the global rise of women, she writes weekly inspiration and monthly curriculum on maxiemccoy.com. Her book, You're Not Lost: An Inspired Action Plan for Finding Your Own Way is published by TarcherPerigee of Penguin Random House. Maxie specializes in creating meaningful offline experiences that provide practical action in workshop and group formats. She's worked with top brands, conferences and companies to create original events that engage their target audiences both online and off. Her work has been featured on Good Morning America, TheSkimm, Forbes, Fortune, INC, Bustle, Business Insider, MyDomaine, Women’s Health, Marie Claire, Billboard, CNN and many more as an expert in women’s leadership.
3. Raise your hand if you feel a little lost in any area of your life right now Raise your hand if you’ve ever felt lost… (Yes! Exactly. You’re not alone) I’ve definitely been in your shoes. As have the tens of thousands of women that I’ve spent that last 7 years talking to. Which just so you know this is what I do for a living. I talk to women. I facilitate women’s stories. On stages. In writing. I’ve spent all of these conversations talking to women like myself and many of you who have felt this way. And talking to women who’ve been there, done that, and create insane success (much like many of you in here). So over the next few minutes I’m going to give you TK steps to hopefully help you feel less lost, which you’ll realize is just about coming back to your own power. And we NEED you to feel like you have direction in your life, because we cannot lead the global change needed on this planet and within our offices unless we tapped in and connected to ourselves. Until we have direction for me. a person tapped into her deepest power becomes a massive threat to the status quo. 
4. There’s a few things that have happened when we’re feeling lost. Either, we have no idea where the heck we WANT to go. Or we’ve gotten to a place we always said we wanted to be only to realize that we don’t want it. So we’re stuck. We’re paralyzed. We’re stuck. Which is a problem Because getting to a place where you want to be. A place where you have direction (which by the way helps us feel more fulfilled and energized) we MUST be in motion.
5. And being in motion is really just believing in ourselves enough to step. The more we believe, the more confidence we have, the more actions we can take. These build. And before you know it the belief is big and the actions are bigger, and you’ll be on a path that you REALLY want to be on.
6. We can’t talk about building self-belief without also talking about all the reasons it can be hard as hell to be who we really are. That young, wildly expressed person living within you can be hard to come back to if you’re not aware of why you got away from her in the first place. There’s no cheerleading confidence without also acknowledging that we live in a society where being a woman is politicized, where we’re consciously and unconsciously made to question ourselves so that our power is tempered. It’s a well-oiled and methodical machine meant to keep us small. We live in a system that we’re born into that we’re led to believe can’t and shouldn’t be changed. We’re convinced by that very same system and all those who have internalized it that there are no alternatives. It’s the same system that not only ushers us into believing that women should remain in subordinate roles in society but also contributes to other forms of oppression, like racism, homophobia, and sizeism. And as Gloria Steinem says, oppression wouldn’t work unless some of it was internalized. So we start to believe that until we look like X, act like Y, and have the success of Z, we have problems that need to be solved first. The only problem that needs to be solved is trying to fit into society’s mold.
7. Now, I know that this can be an amorphous trope that’s easy to spout out and difficult to actually put into action. So, here’s a quick exercise for you: Right now - Think about three things you have always felt like you were supposed to change and ask yourself what it might look like to stop trying to change those things and magnify them instead (barring any traits that, you know, would make you a non-decent human). Maybe it’s your humor or your relentless optimism or your cautious calculating. Don’t be less of them. Don’t fight them. Be more of them—and see what happens. Here’s your formula…take all these thing you’ve been trying to change and MAGNIFY THEM. Do the reverse. 
8. This type of living is often referred to as authentic living, which has been shown to contribute to greater happiness, higher self-esteem, and more positive emotions. ( the journal of counseling psychology)
9. We’re a culture of being future obsessed. But reflection is key to figuring out what’s next. My journey of feeling the MOST lost. Couldn’t have come up with where “I was headed” if you put a gun to my head so I had no idea what to do next. We miss a huge huge piece of the puzzle when we fail to take time to reflect. It’s action too. It’s info too. Sometimes we need to sit in the sh*t of what worked and potentially what didn’t in order to move forward. ++++Research by Giada Di Stefano, Francesca Gino, Gary Pisano, and Bradley Staats in call centers demonstrated that employees who spent 15 minutes at the end of the day reflecting about lessons learned performed 23% better after 10 days than those who did not reflect. A study of UK commuters found a similar result when those who were prompted to use their commute to think about and plan for their day were happier, more productive, and less burned out than people who didn’t.
10. 1. In the last year, what made me feel inspired? 2. In the last year, what actions gave me the most energy? 3. In the last year, when did I feel the most proud? Then, circle or note any themes in your answers. These are micro-insights that will help lead your forward. SHARE: TO THE ROOM Sit in your hit. Appreciate the ascent. PERSONAL STORY OF ASKING MYSELF THESE QUESTIONS.  
11. What if I gave you a mandate to think small? Like, really tiny. Eensy-weensy. Small, small, small. I know it’s counterintuitive. I know that big-picture thinking gets all the glory. But grand goals and master plans can cause major frustration. They become reminders of everywhere we’re not already at. You eat an elephant one bite at a time, so they say. And so too with anything that you’re trying to figure out—one step at a time. So, you have to learn how to fall madly in love with small plans and even smaller steps. Because that’s how you tap into the most confidently expressed version of yourself. Starting always begins with something small. But somewhere we deemed small not good enough. Because if we’re not there, then we don’t want to be here. And, well, that’s a recipe for going nowhere. Everything you eventually do in your life happens because of tiny moments. But for some reason, when it comes to creating your future, tiny is no longer acceptable. Think about what it takes to go on a dreamy vacation and how you get to the point of experiencing it. You made a chronological and meaningful series of small choices in order to be lying on the beach. You researched a location. You booked a flight. You confirmed accommodations. You checked the weather. You packed a bag. You got yourself to the airport. You boarded a plane. You showed up. This small plans thing . . . you know how to do this. You do this every day in myriad ways; you just need to start doing it with the unknown that is your future direction. Building a deep sense of belief in your path and allowing future goals to unfold both require that you show up for yourself every day. You must let your small steps mean something. You must allow day-by-day plans to feel as worthy as the grand ones. 
12. Reconnecting with the value of little wins will bring your power back. How do you think many of the most successful Team USA swimmers train for the biggest competition of their lives? They train to reach competency and satisfaction in minor achievements,[i] which in turn gives them more confidence to go after even more small wins each and every day. These small wins build on each other until the one win that really matters: the Olympics. Olympians are using this strategy to confidently create a possible future that holds the biggest accolade of their lives. Why should we be any different in creating our future dreams? You only get there by starting here. Let your choices be good enough. Let the small steps be worthy to you. The deal with small plans, though, is not only that we don’t deem them worthy enough, it’s also that we don’t want to sit in our discomfort without the glory. We want the immediate satisfaction that this thing we’re doing is definitely going to get us where we want to go. This bitch of a day, or of a plan, is going to be the thing that lands us there. You’ve got to drop your obsession with recognition like it’s hot. And trust yourself, that you’ll get that glory eventually, that you’ll get to where you want to be. You have to allow today to count. Today is what matters most of all, even if it is nondescript, boring, and mundane. You’ve got to commit to the going when the going is boring as fuck. If I had looked for big plans and even bigger excitement in order to justify my dreams, I would have stopped going after them all those years ago. Because those first years (and lots of days even still) can be so unrewarding day-to-day, because the steps are tiny. My everyday is anything but glamorous. And the small plans it took to get here, to today, were just as unglamorous. 
13. If I’m not there I don’t want to be here. We get stuck. And the only way out is by willing to take a step into the unknown. You make the path AS you’re stepping. So if we can make the step small, we can make it manageable.
14. Our people can be Mirrors to believe in ourselves. Eventually we’ll see what they see.
15. Believer – they believe in everything you are. They don’t flinch when you stumble. They believe in what you’re here to do The coach – not afraid to give you feedback and helpful criticism TC – peer mentors killing it. Your most successful friend Anchor – they keep you rooted to what really matters. None of is really that bad. Strategist – four steps ahead. Strategy or it all Mentor – been there and done that 15-person roster
16. SURVEY – Genesis. How it worked for me. 5 questions and exactly how to do this are all in the book.
17. ask, what have I always felt like I neede to change. How can I magnify that instead. Ask when I felt energized, proud, Ask what’s the absolute smallest thing I can do right now Ask who are my people. And ask them questions.