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Reviews
Crypto Shadows (2024)
BS Reviews!
Anyone giving this a high rating is lying! Do NOT believe them and waste your time like I did! ZERO chance this is s 7 movie!
Basically a 1 person cast. Lame plot, lame 'action', ridiculous ending.
There was nothing in this movie that made any sense. Worst portrayal of some super hacker/high skill computer person ever. She's so smart but keeps getting 'hacked'. She's being chased, but no one ever tries to really get her. She's what, rich to afford her set-up on acres and acres including and underground bunker? No backstory whatsoever.
The main character is all over the place with her emotions, acting, work practices, everything. It's bad!
I've already told you how bad it is but I have to meet this 500 word requirement! Why does this exist?!? If you can't say what you think succinctly it's not worth saying it.
Anyway, you been warned.
No One Will Save You (2023)
Cmon with the high ratings!
I'm 1 hour into this mess of a movie and bored to tears! How anyone is rating this 7 or higher is just unbelievable to me. Just cannot trust IMDB user reviews anymore. There is like 100 words or less in the ENTIRE script! Just downright boring to watch. The lead actress spends all her time making goofy facial expressions or grunting. I guess that is considered top notch acting these days. There is ZERO backstory on why the townspeople don't like her and why she is so weird.
The aliens look like retreads from ten other alien movies. Basically we are just watching a woman fight aliens without any rhyme or reason about her, the invasion, the town. Nothing.
I recommend you skip this unless you just are trying to kill time. It's not the worst movie ever made because there are so many horrible films, but if you are going to watch it because IMDB gave it a 6.5 overall (meaning it should be a really good movie), you'll be sorely disappointed...
PS, not a spoiler but they just tried to save it at the 20 min left mark with some BS twist, but nah. CRAP movie.
White Men Can't Jump (2023)
One of the WORST remakes ever!
I will say up front I didn't see the entire movie. I watched for 40 minutes and I had to turn it off! TOTALLY depressing movie. No fun, no excitement, just two lousy, bum dudes talking a lot of crap.
The first WMCJ was fun, had great realistic basketball action, romantic and sad all at the same time. It was a great movie from the opening scene until the end. This here, don't waste your time! Neither dude looks or moves like a baller. ESPECIALLY the black dude! He was so mis-cast in this movie. All he does is snarl, frown and be depressed. And he is the FURTHEST thing from a baller you could find. He's really not that good of an actor. I've seen him in other stuff and same role. Always a jerk. Nothing likeable about him at all. Together they have no chemistry and they definitely aren't funny like Woody & Wesley. The movie just went nowhere and I found zero joy in the 40 min I watched.
I'm sure most people will give it a watch based on the original but you'll see...
SKIP!
Blood Born (2021)
DO NOT WATCH!
One of the SICKEST most DEPRAVED movies I have EVER seen! Just pure evil without any purpose. People giving this a high rating must be just as evil. I feel like I have to shower and go to church right away to get the yuck off me and out of my head!
That said, the story is TOTALLY lame! No grown ass man would allow someone to come into his house and boss him around. And any couple that desperate to have a baby needs SERIOUS psychological counseling.
The only thing this movie has going for it is good acting. I just have to wonder how evil Hollywood is to make a movie like this. All I can say is STAY AWAY!
Last Sentinel (2023)
Just can't trust IMDB raters anymore
6.7?!? Great acting but the MOST boring movie ever! I give it a 3 at best. How anyone can say this was anything but boring is amazing.
I've seen every movie there is from the 1950s through present and there is nothing here beyond the acting. Story is stupid and undeveloped. You really have zero clue what the heck is happening the entire movie.
Casting the captain is a dead giveaway as what other role has this dude EVER played?
I don't have another 100 characters off stuff to say but this BS rule makes me keep going...
Bottomline unless you are into a 109% dialogue ZERO action flick, don't waste your money 👍🏽
Plane (2023)
Good movie fun!
I didn't read any reviews before I watched this movie (or before writing this review) but I see it has about a 6.5 rating at the time of my review. I'm giving it a solid 8! I couldn't stand that last 'action' movie Butler did; Greenland. But this was a comeback movie for me. Good plot, good story, excellent acting all around including the bad guys!
And, I LOVED that it doesn't have a bunch of backstories or clutter with all the players in the movie. Typically that is what you get in these sort of 'disaster' flicks. However, the write spared us that and let's you base your thoughts on each character as the incident unfolds. Like would happen in real life. You're with a bunch of strangers and something bad happens and you try to survive. You don't really know anything about them except what you learn during the situation at hand.
This movie has steady action throughout, yet not so much so that women won't enjoy it too. It's not a bunch of killing to kill fake action either. It's believable. I think it's a good date movie when it's the man's choice.... Butler seems to be caught in the "I'm a normal guy - who becomes badass - but isn't so good he doesn't get beat up" roles from here out. Personally I wish he'd do more comedy. He was great in some of those ROMCOMS.
I'm not too sure how plausible the ending was, but whatever, it was exciting!
I don't think you can go wrong renting this one...
All Eyes (2022)
Really out there...
I would give it 2.5 stars if we could give half stars. At the time I watched it is rated 5.6 by viewers. I definitely disagree with it being that high. It's watchable but barely. The acting is good, that is the high point. The rest of it, not so much. I have no clue what the writer and director were trying to say with this movie unless it is "people are crazy"... I will never understand why writers cannot develop a cohesive script! The are always trying to be esoteric and expect the viewer will get what's in their head. Usually not.
The lead is a huge wimp and he got on my nerves the entire movie not taking control of any circumstances or his life during the entire movie. Mostly he looked scared, whined, and avoided any type of confrontation that might have avoided the ultimate outcomes. The old man was played well but I have no clue what his issues are beyond his wife died. Seems like they could have developed his character much better.
None of it really made any sense to me. Perhaps it went over my head. I recommend passing on it, but if you watch it, definitely not the worst movie I've seen by a long shot.
How to Rob (2022)
Not sure what I watched...
When I rented this tonight this movie had a NINE rating! I figured it must be a real sleeper and great. Uh, NO!
I'll say the acting was excellent but I was totally lost on the story or what point the writer was trying to make with the ending! I was expecting some funny, some action, and some silly buddy/buddy moments. These dudes are BASKET CASES and more emotional than the average woman. I didn't like either character. It seemed like they were some petty thieves but the next thing you know they are the Dillinger gang! It just didn't make any sense to me and I rooted against them both.
It's not unwatchable but it was definitely not enjoyable.
I'm not going to go into detail and have to worry about spoilers but I'll leave it at not one character acted in a fashion that you would think given the character development as it were in the movie. Everybody did stuff that was stupid and out of character. I still can't figure out why anyone was after them in the first place. They just never explain it fully. Just a bunch of circumstances that don't fit together.
And the ending.... Don't get me started.
Kids vs. Aliens (2022)
A bunch of. Liars!
I'm going to say 600 words just so another FOOL don't waste $6.99 on this lame movie. Whoever is rating it more than TWO is lying! The acting is fine. THAT IS IT! The story is totally 1st grade. The aliens costumes are from the 1950s, The bad guy is a complete worthless human being and any girl that is as smart as the heroine wouldn't fall for such a loser. The parents... geez. Anyway, this movie is TOTALLY LAME so save your money and do not watch it.
I'd like to see her in something else but man, what was ANYONE thinking to make this crap! Ok, I got 45 more words to use. DO NOT WATCH THIS IT IS STUPID!
A Miracle on Christmas Lake (2016)
Just ridiculous...
I usually like family films with a happy ending theme. This is certainly an exception! Everyone is without explanation mean, over emotional, and over the top. The use of flashbacks combined with fantasy doesn't work. There is no reason a mother wouldn't explain to a senior in high school the circumstances around his father leaving the family. There is no reason anyone would sell their house on the lake worth enough that apparently that the developer will make a fortune on it. How about just keeping your house and once the development is done selling your land for a killing?
Then there is the lead kid. Mad at everyone and everything but it takes almost 90 minutes to find out why. Oh, and his speech at the town meeting... worst movie scene ever candidate. The town mayor... she is the worst actress in a family movie. Belongs in one of the Asylum disaster flicks for real. The move is truly cringe worthy!
With all the really great family movies available I HIGHLY RECOMMEND you SKIP this drivel...
Motherly (2021)
Definitely a decent flick to stop on
With all the TOTAL JUNK movies constantly being released this was a good watch! I figured out the ending before the big reveal but it was still a nice plot! The acting was good although the mom totally got on my nerves. Add another flick with the dumbest cop ever. I get sick of movies portraying cops as buffoons but this guy was definitely a loser. And where was the rest of the police force after he called them? That house must have been 50 miles from civilization. I'm not sure how realistic the plot actually was given the holes, but it was entertaining and better than most movies I watch. Anyone who rated it extremely low is not being fair...
Me Time (2022)
Another Kevin Hart DUD!
Trust all the reviewers who rated this 4 or less. Acting is great but this movie isn't funny at all. Actually Hart is 'less' than usual but it still doesn't play well.
Wahlberg is a favorite of mine but this misses for him too.
It's just a disjointed mess. People rating this movie highly are not to be trusted. It seems like it takes parts from many other buddy, romance comedy flicks, etc and mashes it all together. A HOST of weird characters that don't really make sense. If I had THAT many weirdos in my circle it would tell me something about myself
Same yourself 90 min or whatever it runs.
Flypaper (2011)
A surprisingly good movie!
I stumbled onto this and wasn't going to watch it. But I saw it had a 6+ rating so I decided to give it a try because I also like several of the cast. Had decent humor, great little plot, and the cast was EXCELLENT. It's a movie a couple can watch as well as one guys will like watching alone. Highly recommend it in the sea of CRAP that abounds.
Disturbing the Peace (2020)
Agree with the group rating for once!
This flick is totally lame! I agree with another rater who said Guy Pearce films were good until this. Plot itself wasn't bad but so many holes and cliches it's ridiculous. Both the cops and the crooks are stupid. Crooks come up with a great plan to take over the town then after that they are suddenly first graders.
I can't really argue with the cast except the leading lady... can't act a lick, but script is so unbelievable that it's not enjoyable. I just hit forward fast through it to get to the last 15 min. Really bad!
Find something else even if you are a Guy Pearce fan. He may be headed by way of Bruce Willis and Mel Gibson making all these lame movies (Bruce was doing this long before he was sick, so skip the illness sympathy)
Change in the Air (2018)
This movie has ZERO plot!
I been sitting here over an HOUR and I have no clue what this movie is about. It got a 5.7 rating so I expected it would be good. The trailer seemed okay. It has a top notch cast of actors but honestly I have NO idea what this movie is about and I was so bored and angry (at someone writing such a stupid script) that I just want to turn it off. I may as well watch to the end so at least I hopefully understand the point, but I highly recommend you skip this movie. It's just a bunch of mystical BS. Oh, and M. Emmett Walsh doesn't say a word the entire movie. Had me googling if he can still speak.
The Man from Toronto (2022)
Total Crap stupid movie.
Once again the IMDB community has it WAY wrong saying this is almost a 6. On the surface it looked promising pairing Hart with Woody. In practice it doesn't work at all.
Kevin Hart is no longer funny. He just silly with the same old routine. NO man in real life would act like him (like a 10 year old) and certainly wouldn't act like he does given the circumstances. Woody Harrelson plays his role great but Hart just ruins the movie. It is more of slapstick comedy. I feel like I was watching a Jerry Lewis movie.
Of course the entire script is unrealistic and lacks any believability. Save your 90 minutes. I didn't laugh once.
Oh, and don't get me started about how stupid the cops are in this movie. I mean cmon! Totally incompetent. You can't make the police look this dumb and have a believable movie.
I initially wrote this DURING the sorry movie. I kept watching just to see how bad it would be, And with the ending I'm taking away one of my 3 stars. H O R R I B L E movie!!
Blowback (2022)
Not great, not horrible
Have to agree with some of the other reviewers that Couture is HORRIBLE. Dude cannot act and in this type of flick it stands out. The rest of the cast was good except Mandylor and the black FBI actor who was a clown.. Mandylor has never been better than B-Movie casting anyway.
Like I said in my title, not a horrible movie but a strange plot that isn't very believable but standard fare I guess for these type movies. Wasn't worth $7 but if you can see it for free then it's 'ok' if you got nothing else to watch.
The After Party (2018)
Another bogus IMDB rating
I watched this for 30 min. The movie is only 76 min long. I watched for 20 minutes and it was ridiculous. A bunch of dialogue of uninteresting, drunk and drugged up people at some house party. At this point there is nothing about a character trying to 'rap' and something going amiss. If you can't get me interested in 20 minutes the movie is a dud. This is some self-absorbed yuppie BS movie that only those type people will watch.... Avoid at all costs. Def NOT a 5.8 rating (which I consider a good movie given the drivel released)
The Last Victim (2021)
CANNOT trust IMDB reviews any more
This garbage a 5 rating?!? This movie is TOTAL crap. I like my stupid B-movies by the Asylum better than this. No explanation. Just senseless killing to be killing. A plot slower than erosion in the Grand Canyon! I mean whoever gave this high ratings is doing so to skew the rating. All I did was forward fast to get through the boredom and ridiculous dialogue. Ali Larter was horribly wasted on this junk.
The Sheriff supposed to be 'chasing' someone, come on. There was no chase. Just plodding along small town cop BS. Do yourself a BIG BIG favor and don't waste your money.
TOTAL SNOOZE FEST!
Behemoth (2021)
No WAY this is a 5 movie
HORRIBLE acting. The worst monster ever. Ridiculous plot! Every scene was just stupid! I can't believe anyone is trying to say this is a decent movie!
I've watched dozens of B-movies and this stacks up with the worst!
Do yourself a favor and don't waste your time. Nothing here worth watching.
Memory (2022)
His best since Taken!
I really enjoyed this movieI. A 7.5 score for me.
I was set to not like it because a 70 year old 'action' star is ridiculous; but the premise appealed so I gave it a try.
However, Neeson fit this role PERFECTLY and played it well.
Overall great acting from all the cast and a highly original plot. Of course there are parts where you roll your eyes especially at the end in the hospital scene but, what you gonna do?
The action was good and not over the top and the story played out well. Good pacing. For once a screen play that someone put thought into from start to finish and I wasn't sitting there at the end asking myself what did I just watch?
I don't pay $20 often to stream a movie but I thought it was worth every penny!
The Cellar (2022)
Cmon now...
Whoever rated this higher than a 5 is lying! The acting in the movie is fine. But the story and the ending is just stupid. Might as well been watching "Celluar" from years ago. These movies that just leave things with no real explanation are so tiring! STOP already. I highly recommend you skip this one and watch a tried and true older movie that does this much better.
Reacher (2022)
Really good!
I watched it all in one sitting. Really enjoyed it. Reacher dude is like someone who has Asperger's but is also a trained badass and investigator. He also plays it exceptionally well. There are a few technical faux pas (like who makes US Currency for one) that made me laugh but otherwise it is solid. Highly recommend it to both men and women. I think couples would enjoy watching it together.
After seeing this I can see why true 'Reacher' fans were so pissed at Tom Cruise being cast in the movie. This dude is bigger than Cruise from foot to knee!!
Tape 407 (2012)
WORST EVER! Right to the top of my list
Awful. You know the ending the first 20 min. Characters are so annoying I want them to die. Totally unrealistic response to an emergency. Just pure drivel! Anyone rating this higher than 3 is misleading you.
Don't Look Up (2021)
THE WORST MOVIE!
This movie is embarrassing for every person in it. I'm sure it's supposed to be satire but even using that logic it is abysmal. ANYONE rating this moving highly is a straight up liar or a total kook. Do not waste your time. This is guaranteed to go down as the worst movie on every star's resume. I cannot emphasize just how STUPID this movie is.