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Reviews
Brutal (2012)
About an hour too long.
It's a good story, well told with some great scenes but, man, could it use some editing.
There are about half a dozen largely irrelevant scenes and about a dozen more which are spun out way too long.
Some tight editing would get this down from 'directors cut+' length to watchable without looking at your watch length.
One thing, however, is the sound track. Get that wrong and you're stuffed and they got it wrong more often than not. Unforgivable.
There are some great shots, some great soundtracks but, Madonne, don't they go on. And on and then on some more.
Like with the swearing. I get that they are baddies and baddies swear a lot but it's every other word and sometimes three or more in a row for no apparent reason other than to show how tough they are.
In real life? Some of the toughest people I know, seriously tough people, hate swearing. Loud-mouths swear.
Ripe for a remake with a bigger budget but hats off to those involved for making it this far.
The Liability (2012)
Hit man meets divot with darkly humorous results
It's always difficult to watch a film set in locations you know. Sometimes it works and adds a layer of reality to what is after all, just a story.
And what a story.
If you are in anyway familiar with the sort of character Adam is, played brilliantly by Jack O'Connell, you will know hat I mean when I say "Hit man meets divot" because Adam is a div. A chav. Know worra meen? Yuh get me? Adam is an archetype of what's become of working class youth in Britain: feckless, not very bright, sometimes likable but ultimately, a liability.
As the film plays out there are genuine laughs and some really dark moments. Some expected and some totally unexpected.
The Liability is an instant classic but let's hope that it's not a cult classic and it has the exposure to the mainstream that it needs.
7/10 go see it.
L.A., I Hate You (2011)
What Did I Just Watch ?
A pretty decent move, actually.
Engaging form the start, some of the characters are, too.
Not all of them.
As the story unfolds so will your opinions and expectations and not in the way you might think.
One of those films where you are compelled to watch because your curiosity, once piqued, gets the better of you and you just have to see what happens, to whom, with what and .. well .. just Whisky Tango Foxtrot.
Good guys become the bad guys and bay guys turn out to be not so bad after all.
Maybe.
God film, good script, give it a watch, make up your own mind.
Plan C (2012)
Excellent Dutch Cinema
Poor old Ronald! Plan C is a tale about a hard pressed cop who's having a bit of a losing streak.
Losing his wife, child, hair and hand after hand of poker, which is a game of skill, not luck you understand.
Sadly, Ronald's 'skill' isn't well, skillful enough so he needs to pull a stroke.
Ronald enlists the help of a small man who calls on the help of a big man and that's when Ronald's 'skill' runs out and perversely, comes back.
Things go from bad to worse then to even worse, much worse then back to bad again before Ronald finds himself thanking lady luck.
Or is that lady skill ?
Excellent cinema from Holland. Or The Netherlands. Depending on your view.
By the Dutch, anyway, go see it... tot ziens.
Best Laid Plans (2012)
How do films like this get funding ? Because ....
This is film making, not movie making and if you don't understand the difference you might struggle to understand the film.
There are no bombs, flames or explosions but there is plenty of grit, pathos and some tidy cinematography.
Because of or in spite of the dreariness of the location where most of it was filmed, Tragic Nottingham ? Dunno, but it fits well.
The opening shot of Stephen Graham is worth the price of admission alone and from that shot you know what you're supposed to be going to get.
Sadly and all too often, such promise quickly fades but not here. The cast keep it tight enough to hold your interest and loose enough for the dialogue to be relaxed and natural, right through to the inevitable end.
This is in no short measure down to the talented cast, held together by Stephen Graham, another British actor from over here, who's doing rather well over there.
MORE like this, please, film makers.
Flypaper (2011)
Monk with guns and swearing
Patrick Dempsey plays Tripp Kennedy, a savant with a liking for small change. A still hot Ashley Judd plays Kaitlin, a bank teller. But not all is as it seems and as the story progresses the action heats up, the story, and the film, begins to fall apart.
Once the thought "Monk" entered my head I couldn't get rid of it, like one of those annoying songs you get stuck on your internal jukebox. There were couple of laugh out loud moments but those were few and far between and the movie seemed to drag on and on and the holes in the plot got bigger and the script was stretched to cover the holes, mostly with lots of pointless swearing.
Pointless in two respects. Rob Minkoff is no Quentin Tarantino and all the cast added together will never be Samuel L Jackson. The storyline was so vague at times, so off plot, that I got the impression the someone on set shouted "MORE SWEARING" to cover up the rubbish dialogue and acting in pointless scenes which should have been sent to the floor of the edit suite, metaphorically speaking.
Calling the film absolute garbage is a bit harsh and calling it toilet paper is funny but ultimately unfair.
Take the swearing out and Flypaper would make a good slapstick movie.
The Guard (2011)
Where were the subtitles ? What A Stupid Thing To Say !
Away wit ye, ya bollix, next ye'll be asking me to explain small versus far away.
The Guard is one of those low(ish) budget movies which somehow demonstrate great production values, put together by an experienced crew and edited as close to perfection as possible.
It just works.
The setting, Ireland's visually stunning West coast, a real land of legends and bandits, helps those production values along, providing sets and backdrops which some would say are unequalled.
Don Cheadle's Wendell Everett looks like your archetypal fish out of water. A bit like John Shaft who's taken a wrong turn at the top of 110th Street and ended up 3000 miles away on the West coast of Ireland.
Wendell is the perfect straight man for which to bounce the stream of laconic asides, jokes and insults of Gleeson's dead pan Sgt. Boyle.
The script is tight, the humour genuine and the pathos effective.
I'll bet it was a good crack working with that cast and I think that fun shows through in the acting.
Attack the Block (2011)
I'm not going to be so predictable and attack the characters ...
But it's an open goal, innit ?
This is, in many ways, a film about alien invasion.
About a fantasy culture from another planet which invades and attempts to take over the local population through the medium of grunts and violence.
Only in this case the aliens really are from another planet (Ya Get Me) and the status quo is that of a run down council estate in London which prior to the aliens turning up was a nice place to live.
Apart from the knife wielding muggers, junkies, burglars and assorted drug dealers.
Can you see any parallels ? Well, remember, it was the film makers who put them there. All you have to do is look.
The film is well shot and the effects are not LOL rubbish but given the VAST list of names and companies in the end credits that's to be expected.
Most of the film works except the absurd way these kids talk or "chat" which, like other sub culture argot seems to substitute perfectly serviceable short words for a longer and more stupid version.
A car becomes a whip, for example, and phrases like 'trust me' is now shortened to 'trust' as if phrases longer than two words are too difficult. Surely it won't be long before such 'conversations' consist entirely of the first letter of the word.
Much of this film is 'bare' like the moral and educational cupboards of most of the morons who talk like that in what they consider to be 'real' life and normal people consider to be a bit backwards.
Don't pay to see it.
Meet Monica Velour (2010)
Beautifully Shot Tragi-Comic Masterpiece
At sometime in your life you've either met, wished to have met, been or wish to have been Monica Velour, a film which captures life's beautiful tragedy, beautifully.
Perhaps you know a Monica and maybe you're a Tobe but have heart, it'll all work out fine in the end.
If you don't recognise any part of yourself in this excellent film then chances are, eventually, you will. Either that or you're incapable of recognising Bathos, Pathos or any other of "life's Musketeers"
Kim Cattrall is still hot, more so without all the SITC polish but special thanks must go to Brian Dennehy for certain .. aspects ..of his performance. In between poking out my mind's eye with an imaginary fork, I'm reaching for the eye bleach.
Thanks, Brian....
9/10 Monica Velour is an instant classic.
Blitz (2011)
Good Ingredients, Decent Chef, Bland Dish
I'll echo what others have said about Blitz. It has a decent cast and the director obviously knows what he's doing but it seems that's not enough to make a film good.
**SPOILER ALERT**
There are a number of glaring errors in the storyline, chief amongst them being the 50k which is returned to the suspect when plod can't come up with enough evidence to hold him any longer.
The 50k did not belong to the suspect, it was in the toilets with the dead fella and despite plod knowing that the journalist was in the toilets with the stiff for 10 minutes 'looking for the money'which had been given to the dead fella, when the money turns up in the possession of the chief suspect that's seemingly not enough to link him with the moiders. Chinny reckon !
Mind you, with the increasing level of apparent incompetence of some UK police forces that glaring error may be required in any script.
Some scenes were dealt with in keeping with the film but others appeared rushed as if the director wanted to shoehorn in some Sweeney type dialogue or the actor's agents had demanded X amount of screen time in the contract.
Always a pleasure to watch Paddy Considine in any film and it's not fair to watch Jason Statham in Lock, Stock, Snatch, Crank 1 & 2 and then compare his performance in those films to his lack lustre performance in Blitz.
Could have been a great movie but it's come out only as watchable.
Babylon (1980)
Babylon (an ting)
I was sat flicking through the TV channels last night and caught the opening scene of Babylon on BBC2. I couldn't believe it. I also couldn't understand how I'd forgotten about the film and why the DVD was missing from my collection.
Babylon is a classic film without equal. I was 14 in 1981 and going to blues with my older brother.
Dub, real classic heavy dub, was my sound track to the early 80's and Babylon was one of those films which summed up the experience of many black and white bwoy dem in a time before gangsta (c)rap corrupted everything.
Jamacian Patois with a slight cockney twang has been replaced by Jafaican. Collie weed and Blue Mountain Sensi replaced with skunk. Choparitas replaced with bling.
Babylon is a snapshot time capsule of a film and it should be cherished as such, without analysing it too much and it should only be compared on its own terms.
Been playing the soundtrack this morning and I've ordered the DVD to fill that gap in my collection. If you get the chance, watch the film.
Bim!
Skeletons (2010)
Delightful Gem
Most films with high concept values require a Herculean level of suspension of disbelief to prevent the what-ifs becoming a ceaseless stream of yeah-rights.
Quite often, a movie concept to which a viewer is asked to subscribe turns out to be poorly conceived and badly constructed. The movie then suffers from something I like to call China Syndrome: The concept is as far fetched as a bucket of chit from China.
Skeletons, although possessed of one of the most original move concepts I've ever seen, right from the opening scene, presents its concept in such a matter of fact and unassuming manner that the viewer is instantly on board. Even if, initially, you won't have a clue what's going on you will know that whatever is happening is happening for a reason and the world will somehow be a better place because of it.
Although many strange, unexplained and downright bizarre things happen in the film there wasn't, for me, any moment or event I felt required further questioning, it all seemed so natural and even the really odd things I couldn't immediately figure out were, in the context of the concept, sure to have an obvious and easily justifiable answer.
Brilliantly cast with excellent directing and if you don't 'get' Skeletons you have to understand, it's not the film, it is most probably you. Maybe there's something blocking your ability to enjoy stuff. Perhaps you ought to call someone in ?
9/10
Black Death (2010)
Black Death. Beyond Belief.
Don't watch Black Death if you're alone. Yet, if you are with your God you are never truly alone. Do not watch Black Death in the dark. But, the enlightened are never truly in the dark.
Can you see your dilemma ? From where do you *receive* your understanding as to we come from ? Where *do* we go when we die ? No idea, mate ! Such complex questions have been asked since time immemorial and, so far, we've ended up with only MAN made answers and still, thousands of years after these questions were first asked by simple people, we continue to allow man made pestilence to thrive amongst us.
Follow the Goddess within or follow the death cult Man Gods ? Knowing the alternatives, I follow the Goddess.
The only guarantee is that none of our most essentially human questions can be answered in the reviews of Black Death here on IMDb, but the story which Black Death, the film, eloquently lays out will leave you with more answers than you're comfortable with.
Unless your God tells you otherwise.
Frequently Asked Questions About Time Travel (2009)
The Sequel Is Even Better
But I probably shouldn't have told you that ....
I've just watched FAQ about Time Travel. I don't know how this movie managed to get under my radar but I'm glad it did, such was the surprise, enjoyment and genuine LOLs on watching it. Perhaps I still have it to look forward to ? Who really knows ?
On to the review.
FAQ about Time Travel is, essentially, a lesson for aspiring film makers in how to make a future classic by eloquently telling a great story, with a low budget, by casting three blokes who have an unbelievable night out in a pub.
Seriously, you won't believe what actually happened.
To best enjoy this movie you will need at least a very good understanding of time travel theory. That said, such an in depth understanding will do you no good and therein lies a paradox.
Best just go with it.
Hope you enjoy the film, you'll have to excuse me, that pint has gone right though me ......
Harry Brown (2009)
Harry Brown, Harry Blair, Harry major, Harry Thatcher
Harry Brown, Harry Blair, Harry Major, Harry Thatcher.
You think Harry Cameron will make any difference ?
The result of 30 years of indifference and neglect from politicians is the sum of the film Harry Brown.
The film begins with a snapshot of utter pointlessness which is wholly appropriate and bang on target. These are not middle class children, and this is not Harry Potter.
The futility and sense of betrayal Harry obviously feels was palpable and something many people feel on a daily basis and when there is no one left to turn to Harry takes matters into his own hands with inevitable results. No more eating from him now ...
Happy-Go-Lucky (2008)
Another Excellent Mike Leigh Vignette
In this latest movie from Mike Leigh we are introduced to the very sweet Poppy. Poppy is a teacher, a good laugh, a bit of a loon and a really annoying person all rolled into one but try as you might you won't hold that against her. She is an unexpectedly cute cross between Michaela Strachan and Frank Spencer. Thankfully, there's no beret but there are plenty of knockabout gags which, when coupled with Poppy's infectious giggling and quick asides, had the audience laughing along quite genuinely. Characters come and go throughout the movie with an especially good performance from Stanley Townsend, but it's Eddie Marsan who gives the stand out performance in the movie with his darkly obsessive narratives and non sequiturs which expose his sinister persona. The rest of the cast are also splendid, they all fit in just right to make this a very watchable and enjoyable movie. Even the two dimensional characters have good aspects for which they are easily forgiven. I wouldn't hesitate in recommending people to this movie, my only complaint being that it was over too soon. I could have watched how the characters developed for another day or two and I guess that's down to the fascination with the ordinary which Mike Leigh builds into his films.
[Rec] (2007)
LOLOLOL !!1!!11Eleven
OK, it's a horror flick. There are no steady cams, no trick lighting and it does suffer quite badly from what I call China Syndrome. As in, "it's as far fetched as a bucket of sh1t from China" It's totally unreal, it is so low budget it's not funny and that's only one of the problems with this excellent attempt of a film. Sure, it's not a very accomplished film but that's meant in the same way that many Chinese films were not even borderline accomplished only 5 or so years ago, and we all know that yesterdays rubbish is next weeks classic. I'm not saying this movie is a future classic and I'm not excusing the films obvious failings and I don't have enough life left in me to reel off a list of the films it copies, both stylistically and actually, suffice to say: Watch the film, if you like it, cool. If you don't, that's also cool. I was going to give it a 4 but I'll give it a 5 in as non patronising way as possible.
Good effort only spoiled by being too rubbish.
Gone Baby Gone (2007)
9/10 But Only Half Happy.
I read Gone, Baby, Gone several years ago and I've just watched the movie.
As per, I ignored the casting, the reviews and the fluff which usually clouds ones decisions in regards to 'watch or do not watch' when it comes to movies which are considered must see, go watch this, etc.
I'm only half glad I watched the movie.
I was subsumed from the get go. There were no unbelievable characters and that was probably what made my glass "haaf" empty.
In life we are dealt a hand but we must choose how to play that hand.
Every time we do the right thing, we lose.
Either a part of ourselves or a part of someone we love.
What would you do ?
Hitman (2007)
It's a hit, man !
I played the Hit-man game to death when it was released in (checks) 2000 - some eight years ago. Eight ? Blimey. Anyway, as I recall, the game was a hit, very playable. Cut to St. Petersburg 2008: 47 has been fleshed out in 3D. As a game Hit-man had a limited lifespan as far as playability was concerned. As a movie I suspect that the franchise will run for 2 or 3 movies and I think it has the legs to go the distance.
It's not Bond, it's not Bourne but it's definitely not bogus.
There are some features carried over from the game which stand out as anomalies when transposed to film. The bar code tattoo for one, and there are some 'chinny reckon' moments when the disbelief you're expected to suspend goes a bit far but, hey, it's a movie and a half decent one at that.
Timothy Olyphant seemed a bit stiff at first but I figured that his 'motivation' for his character was derived from a 2D character in a game. edit: The fight scenes, as with a lot of movies recently, are spot on. Olyphant and his opponents are choreographed well enough to make it work. For me.
Olga Kurylenko is beautiful and she can act. Hell, she can act like a chicken or roll of carpet .. I don't care, she's gorgeous.
The rest of the cast held it together admirably. There can't be a member of the cast who's not watched Bond or Bourne so treading between those two 'franchises' (I hate that term) can't have been easy. Nice to see T Bag in the movie, I hope he stays around and the Dougray Scott / Michael Offei duo worked for me.
No Country for Old Men (2007)
Solid movie, liquid performances, eventually turns to gas.
I watched this movie without reading any of the reviews. The moment I saw anything relating to the title, I looked away. I clicked through. I didn't want to have any preconceptions about the movie other than 'it's a good movie' The film starts off really well. There's pace, intrigue, excitement and large dollops of uncompromising gore and some moments of genuine tension. All the hallmarks of a great movie. The the cracks soon begin appear and suddenly, the cracks are so wide, elements of the movie and some characters fall right through them. The sinister Anton becomes almost supernatural in his ability to defy the law.
It's not the law, well represented by Tommy Lee Jones, that Anton escapes from, it's the laws of physics: For every reaction there's an equal and opposite reaction, except in Antons world, with his crazy, cumbersome 'swiss army knife' of a weapon. Is there anything Anton can't do with that thing ? Speaking of weapons what's up with the the silencer that didn't .. Silence ? Why wouldn't a burst of sub machine gun fire be heard in one motel but be heard half a block away by in another motel ? Why does Llewelyn ... oh, never mind, after that shock the movie is all but over.
Avoiding the obvious ending was probably the worst idea ever. We were robbed ! It's as if the Cohen brothers couldn't decide how to finish their magnificent wild salmon of a movie, so they just left it flapping on the riverbank, gasping for air. A missed opportunity to give what could have been a classic movie the ending it surely deserved.
Sleuth (2007)
Good. Grief.
I wanted to review Sleuth as simply "delicious" but, apparently, I need to elaborate. Caine v Law ? Caine ? With Jude Law ? I wouldn't have banked on it being a success but it works. And how. I can't elaborate without hinting at plot spoilers, the twists, the turns. Suffice to say: Watch this movie. If you don't get it first time round, watch it again. The movie starts with an ambiguous premise. You're drawn in to the plot with unusual camera angles, Interesting architecture and an impressive array of innovative domestic accessories. So far, so what ? As you prepare for the usual "Beginning, Muddle and The End", Caine & Law go deep. The plot thickens. There are some very nicely shot scenes and some well delivered lines in this movie. You'll either love it or hate it, either way, watch it.