Five things that are more scary than the snakes on Regent’s Canal
Lock up your little ’uns! According to a variety of local and national papers, London has been invaded by poisonous, vicious pet- and baby-killing snakes from Europe. Except we haven’t. Sure, a bunch of eight-foot slitherers have come across the channel and taken up residence around Regent’s Canal, but they’re harmless. Karen Harper of the London Invasive Species Initiative has assured us that the worst these snakes will do is eat the odd rat. But lest we miss an opportunity to get needlessly terrified, we’ve compiled a list of five scary things about the canal that aren’t snakes.
1. Cyclists
Narrow footpaths are no place for both human and cyclist to co-exist, but on the canal’s towpaths they must. In the battle between two-wheeled machine and strolling pedestrian, everyone’s a casualty. Except, possibly, lovers of slapstick.
2. Swans
Can a snake break a child’s arm? Alright, a python probably can, but we don’t have a python problem in London. Swans on the other hand have been known to snap bones with a single flick of their long, beautiful necks. Lethal.
3. Revellers
Last year’s canal carnival (the cleverly named Canalival) was called off at the last minute because of safety fears, but that didn’t stop hundreds of people showing up with inflatable dinghies and enough cider to turn the water amber.
4. Kayakers and rowers
Anyone in an oar-powered vessel might crash into a narrowboat and scuff its paintwork. If they were going really fast it’s possible they might even skewer a swan with the end of their boat. Although that might actually make the canals less dangerous. Hmm.
5. Shopping trolleys
Okay, they aren’t dangerous, but they’re a big problem. It’s a wonder skinflints aren’t diving into canals for the pound coins in discarded trolleys, thus causing cases of tetanus to soar. The resulting lawsuits would bankrupt London Waterways, turning our canals into watery ghettos for gangs of rogue mallards. Sound far-fetched? So do renegade snakes gobbling London’s children.
There’s no such thing as a poisonous snake. Plants, chemicals and minerals make poison, animals make venom. The word you were looking for was ‘venomous’.
MJ… please make your way outside away from your computer, you clearly have no life!
MJ… I read your comment back to myself in the voice of the comic book guy from the Simpsons
PM, you don’t need to have no life to know the difference between poisonous and venemous, but MJ is only half right.
There are plenty of poisonous birds, toads and frogs (poison dart frog) etc.
You can determine the difference between venom and poison by the way it is delivered: Venom = injected, poison = inhaled/ingested/through touch.
There are some right geeks here eh! The snakes eat rats then leave them alone. The are constrictors and are not big enough to harm anyone…They are actually doing a public service for free…
Is it true that a swan’s wing can break your arm?
Yes, but only in exceptional cases. If a wing in full span and velocity were to hit a weak-boned person (such as a child or an elderly person) then it is theoretically possible. In reality it is almost unheard of and is never used as a form of attack as swans are a defensive bird. The only time they become aggressive is when they are protecting their nesting ground or cygnets when they will chase off intruders, be they other swans, geese or humans who get too close.
http://www.theswansanctuary.org.uk/faq.php