The magic number: organise a threesome with 3nder
A new iPhone app promising hassle-free threesomes launched in London earlier this month. But is it an idea with more than its fair share of holes? Andy Hill investigates.
You’ll already be familiar with Tinder, the hugely popular location-based dating app. Too busy (or shy) to meet people in person, we Londoners have taken to cold, swipe-based human interaction with joyous alacrity. And it’s not just romance we’re seeking through our phones. Along with Grindr, the original gents-only one-night-stand generator, and Brenda (exclusively pour les femmes), you might think horny chancers in the capital had more than enough low-hanging sexual fruit to sate their appetites. Well, in Tinder-speak: nope. Step forward 3nder (pronounced ‘thrinder’), an app for those hunting for hot three-way action.
Simply put, 3nder lets you scroll through several thousand fellow Londoners, all looking to go one better than a twosome. Or, indeed, two better than a onesome. As with Tinder, you need to log on through Facebook. Then it’s just a case of choosing the composition of your grouping (‘2+1’ or ‘1+1+1’, as the website coyly puts it) deciding how wide you’d like to cast your net (up to 300km for the really keen) and, finally, registering your specific sexual preferences in the ‘desires’ box. After which you’re presented with a rolling carousel of like-minded people.
As with Tinder, the real pleasure is in the swiping, and, after pouring myself a generous glug of wine, I happily set to work – swiping up to approve or down to reject like a sex-crazed Caligula. I’ve already fingered a few hundred potential partners before a thought hits me. Will any of them swipe back?
Dimo Trifonov, the Bulgarian-born founder of the app, estimates there are at least 45,000 people in the UK looking for the same kind of fun. ‘My girlfriend and I wanted a threesome,’ explains the east London resident. ‘Problem is we don’t really drink, and we don’t do drugs, so opportunities are pretty thin on the ground.’
In theory the app should help people satisfy their desires in a safe and non-judgemental arena – both individuals and adventurous couples. There are catches, of course. Like the fact it’s currently full of randy young men who would, to use my uncle’s memorable phrase, ‘fuck a cigarette burn in the carpet’.
Trifonov himself says he has yet to ‘close’, but at least one reviewer on the Apple Appstore (Trifonov promises an Android version later this year) seems to have had better luck, breathlessly hinting at an encounter with ‘two lovely ladies’. As I wait for my matches to start appearing (or not) another thought crosses my mind: what if I see someone I know?
‘A lot of people will naturally be nervous about colleagues or family spotting them on 3nder,’ says Trifonov. ‘For £1.75 they can purchase a year of “incognito” mode.’ Paying to be incognito eliminates the possibility of workmates or family spotting you should they also cruise 3nder. Some might see this as a cynical stealth tax on an otherwise free app, but at least you can rest easy knowing you’ll never be accidentally up-swiped by your sister.
Ultimately, whether 3nder succeeds or fails, threesomes carry risks. Sharing the love can put damaging stress on previously strong relationships. Trifonov remains optimistic, however: ‘We just want people to have fun. Sex is pleasure but love is unique. Sharing it with the right person might even boost your unique love experience.’
I’m on tenterhooks, anticipating my first ‘unique love experience’. I can only imagine my matches will arrive in a flurry: after all, sometimes good things come in threes.
Take the plunge at 3nder.com.
Or for something less risque, take a look at bike renting app Splinster or the Tube Map Live App.