It is hard to think of another Twitter account that generates grimaces as reliably as @BadDadJokes.
For three years the account has been compiling the things – sources are not given, but some have a Christmas cracker familiarity about them.
Here are 10 of the best:
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Why are there no pain killers in the jungle? Because parrots-eat-em-all
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Beware of alphabet grenades, they might spell disaster.
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Just passed a manicurist and a dentist quarreling in the street- they were fighting tooth and nail.
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I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it, it was a shitzu.
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Why do crabs never give to charity? Because they’re shellfish.
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“Doctor, I’ve broken my arm in several places” Doctor “Well don’t go to those places.”
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Melon 1: “Let’s run away and get married.” Melon 2: “Sorry but I Cantaloupe.”
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I needed a password eight characters long so I picked Snow White and the Seven Dwarves.
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See also: 15 of the funniest philosophical jokes
Moa attack on tramper caught on camera
Two-sentence horror stories – 10 of the best
The 10 funniest newspaper corrections
See what’s inside the latest edition of the Listener here.
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