It is hard to think of another Twitter account that generates grimaces as reliably as @BadDadJokes.

For three years the account has been compiling the things – sources are not given, but some have a Christmas cracker familiarity about them.

Here are 10 of the best:

A police officer caught two kids playing with a firework and a car battery. He charged one and let the other one off.

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Why are there no pain killers in the jungle? Because parrots-eat-em-all

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Beware of alphabet grenades, they might spell disaster.

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Just passed a manicurist and a dentist quarreling in the street- they were fighting tooth and nail.

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I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it, it was a shitzu.

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Why do crabs never give to charity? Because they’re shellfish.

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If you’re struggling to think of what to get someone for Christmas. Get them a fridge and watch their face light up when they open it.

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“Doctor, I’ve broken my arm in several places” Doctor “Well don’t go to those places.”

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Melon 1: “Let’s run away and get married.” Melon 2: “Sorry but I Cantaloupe.”

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I needed a password eight characters long so I picked Snow White and the Seven Dwarves.

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See also: 15 of the funniest philosophical jokes

Moa attack on tramper caught on camera

Two-sentence horror stories – 10 of the best

The 10 funniest newspaper corrections

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