It's going to be bad. Of course it's going to be bad. How could a glamour album crafted by a German internet tycoon holed up in a Coatesville mansion actually be any good?
The chances are low, but what really surprises is just how awful Kim Dotcom's Good Times really is.
With its combination of generic trance beats, plodding synths and cloying, cliched lyrics, it's on a par with the kind of dreck that made Rebecca Black an infamous YouTube star.
Is Dotcom serious about a career in dance music? It's hard to believe when you get to Dance Dance Dance, which finds the internet mogul sort-of rapping the lines, "Black, white, rich, poor, get your ass up on the floor and dance" before creepily croaking: "Hands in the air ... hands everywhere". You may need a shower afterwards.
The only redeeming features are Laughton Kora's performance on the futuristic Amazing, which could have been an out-take from the last Kora album, the ridiculous wobbles and squelches of Wunderbar, and the Prodigy-style punk of Party Amplifier.
But it's hard not to agree with Dotcom's wife Mona when she sings "Take me away, as fast as you can" because Good Times is a musical mess someone should have hit the delete button on a long time ago.
Stars: 1/5
Verdict: We listened so you don't have to.
Listen to Amazing from Kim Dotcom's album Good Times:
- TimeOut