ASYLUM - For all mankind

Our happy hour fact to amaze your drinking buddies with.

A recipient of an unwanted gift generally makes his disappointment clear, even if he is trying to hide his feelings.

Researchers from the University of Hertfordshire in England analyzed the behavior of 680 adults when giving and receiving gifts. When a recipient didn't like a gift, it was apparent in his body language, as he generally stared at the unwanted present while avoiding eye contact with anyone else in the room. Furthermore, folks who are trying to make the best of a bad gift situation tend to smile while using only their mouth muscles, as opposed to their entire face.

The researchers also found that about 75 percent of the time a gift-giver picks up on these signs and can tell when his present isn't well-received.

But before you give up on gift-giving, this holiday season, check out this video of the raw joy you can engender when your gift is a hit.

If you haven't heard of a new online shopping service for dudes called Rotocade, allow us to introduce you. It's a lot like the flash shopping services that are popping up left and right on the Internet, except it features products you actually want, reviewed in a video by a person you may actually want as well, i.e., a beautiful woman. Rocket science, it ain't, but it makes a lot of sense.

The guys at Rotocade were kind enough to make us a custom review of the latest deal, the Edgestar Kegerator presented by sexy Heidi. Check out the video below and head over to Rotocade if you want to take advantage of a pretty hot discount on convenient cold beer.

"I want a WheeMe!" says the giggling foreign hottie who some creeper filmed in a park.

And so begins our love affair with the DreamBots WheeMe device, which is like a massage chair stuffed into a tiny robotic car that runs all over your body.

In another sense, the gizmo resembles the Rhoomba, except your cat cannot ride it to smack your dog on the head (although that might be possible, now that we think about it).

As with anything related to massage, people tend to sound like they are in the throes of a mind-blowing orgasm when using the WheeMe, which is why the YouTube videos demonstrating it are so sexual. "Oh yeah," says one convert, "oh ... oh yeah."

Before you vote, keep in mind that the company's own description of the device sounds like a porn synopsis: "WheeMe automatically and silently steers itself over your body without falling off or losing its grip. As it moves, WheeMe's four small wheels and the rotor finger gently press and caress, providing a delightful sense of bodily pleasure." Keep reading for video and let us know what you think.

We love fanboys. Let's face it, most of us are fanboys. But when it comes to being the most devoted and hardcore fan of a particular genre, science-fiction nerds usually take the Millennium Falcon–shaped cake.

Dan Fogler, star of "Fanboys" and "Balls of Fury" and creator of the new graphic novel "Moon Lake," joined Masterclash to talk about the strange characters who are sci-fi fanboys ...


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We live in dangerous times. Scientists have just discovered there is such a thing as an arsenic-based life form -- which can't be good for anybody -- and it's now entirely possible that small toy robots are part of a plot to overthrow our civilization.

Luckily, the police in Denver are hard at work, preventing the latter from happening. After getting the call that an 8-inch figurine, robot in appearance, had affixed itself to the base of a downtown footbridge, the Denver bomb squad roped off the area for two hours, before detonating the offending toy.

Traffic and pedestrians were detoured during the ordeal, causing Denver resident Justin Kent to exclaim, "Are you serious? I can't believe it. This is ridiculous."

With all due respect to Mr. Kent, we find the reaction of the Denver police department downright heroic. For why wouldn't our wannabe robot overlords use the very toys we foolishly glorify them with as stalking horses in their nefarious plot to enslave us all?

This Sunday is the Annual Day of the Ninja! And what better way to celebrate than to put on your finest shinobi shozuoku, sharpen your throwing stars, and go assassin some warlords?

On second thought, that sounds kind of strenuous, and who wants to get blood all over his best ninja uniform, anyway?

So instead, we invite you to celebrate this ass-kicking holiday with some of the greatest ninja fails on the Internet. Keep reading for a hilarious dose of hi-YA!

Here comes Santa Claus ... and he's wasted off his ass!

A surveillance video camera captured St. Nick stumbling through a mall parking lot, apparently after drinking one too many holiday spirits.

Mistaking a Honda for a urinal, Santa relieves himself and then takes a major faceplant right into the trunk of another car.

Resilient ol' elf that he is, he gets back on his feet, pulls down his pants and appears to jingle his balls, terrifying two bystanders in the process.

Keep reading to watch the footage, which could very well be fake. But just like our belief in Santa Claus, we desperately want it to be real.

We believe in you, Drunk Santa!

You can now add impersonator to the list of titles bestowed upon Lakers forward Ron Artest. After his team lost to the Houston Rockets, Artest decided to call in to a Rockets post-game show for an interview. Sounds normal enough ... except that he pretended to be Rockets forward Luis Scola.

While we don't see Artest challenging Frank Caliendo anytime soon, he manages to keep his cool. When asked about the game he simply states that he's "the best player in the world." And to assure the host that he is in fact Luis Scola, Artest tells of his plan to celebrate by "eating Spanish food." (Scola is a native of Argentina.)

An athlete pranking a radio talk show is odd, but not for Ron Artest? It's probably one of the more normal things he's done since entering the league. Read on to see where this ranks among Artest's most bizarre moments.

TruWarier Records
Ron Artest founded TruWarier Records in 2002 and has been promoting ever since. While none of the acts on the label have really blown up, that's not going to stop Ron from rapping and producing. While he has a new album out, he'll always be remember for the video to his single "Champions" which was released hours after the Lakers won the title. Clearly he was just waiting for the hats to make it official.

Fans of the disaster flick "2012" and the Mayan prophecy that inspired it, may just want to step up their personal ark-building schedules. According to a gaggle of billboards that have been popping up around the world, the Mayans circled the wrong date. So, when the End of the World As We Know It arrives, their adherents won't feel fine.

According to the billboards, Judgment Day will occur on May 21, 2011, followed by the End of the World on Oct. 21, 2011.

While it's true that other doomsdays have come and gone, can we really afford to dismiss this many billboards? After the jump, we'll figure out if this is the real deal, or just an elaborate tease for season two of "The Walking Dead."

Showbiz news you actually want, from geek gossip to celeb train-wrecks.

The Miley Cyrus nude sexting photo is reportedly a fake. (PopEater)

Ashton Kutcher might sue Vivid Entertainment to stop the release of an alleged sex tape. (TMZ)

Scarlett Johansson and Sofia Vergara makes the list of actresses who owe their careers to their breasts. (Dumb As a Blog)

Kevin Bacon is Kevin Bacon's biggest fan in a funny new commercial. (Next Round)

Erin Barry is denying reports that she had an affair with Tony Parker. (Radar Online)

The Three Stooges movie is still happening. (Screen Junkies)

Kim Kardashian and Ryan Seacrest played dead for an ill-advised AIDS awareness campaign. (Daily Fill)

Wrestler "Big Dan" Mandini used awesome wrestling intros at his wedding. (With Leather)

"Twin Peaks" star Ray Wise is joining the cast of "X-Men: First Class." (UGO)

Check out what happens when Jamie Edmondson and other Playboy Bunnies hit the golf course. (The Smoking Jacket)

Even the Insane Clown Posse can get into the charitable holiday mood. (Holy Taco)