Recaps

['Saturday Night Live' - 'Season 36, Episode 8']

For a show that can be as hit-or-miss as 'SNL,' it's puzzling when they choose a host who all but guarantees a miss. I can't remember an episode, in all my 20-plus years of watching the show, that was worse than the Dec. 18, 2004 effort that marked De Niro's most recent hosting go-round.

"But it's De Niro!" you yelp, "how can you say such things about acting's greatest treasure!?" He may be, but to say that De Niro is out of his element live on stage at Studio 8H, is like saying pizza is awesome. It's just true. Can he brave the "elements," and drop his whole "I'm an acting robot, programmed to read my lines and collect awkward pauses for fuel," shtick? We could only hope and pray.

['Smallville' – 'Luthor']

John Glover returned to chew the scenery as Lionel Luthor this week on 'Smallville.' And judging by this episode's cheeky final scene, it looks like he plans to stick around for a while to see "how it all turns out" as the show comes to a close this season.

And that's just fine by me. Glover's big-haired baddie was always a force to be reckoned with on 'Smallville,' and now he's back with a vengeance. Stripped of the white hat that he wore during his last few seasons on the show, he's bound to cause more pain and havoc for Clark Kent and friends than Rick Flag and Darkseid combined. Did you see what he did to Jor-El? This guy means business.

Welcome to the Soap Round-Up, our weekly recap of all the soap action this past week. Each week, we sum up all the best stories from each and every soap, from 'All My Children' to 'The Young and the Restless.'

If you don't want to know what aired already, consider this a SPOILER ALERT. ... Oh, one last thing, please comment and join the conversation.

For instance, on 'Y&R,' were you surprised when Skye turned up on Victor's jet? I could have sworn that Jack was in on the fake death bit, but it was the Mustache at it again. What did you think of Victor's latest move? Share your thoughts ...

'The Young and the Restless'

Adam followed Sharon to New Orleans and they renewed their love affair. Nick and Michael searched for Sharon. Nick was upset when Phyllis arrived to do a story on Adam. Victor told Nikki to move out of the ranch. Lauren suspected Daisy was gaslighting her. Nick rejected Sharon after learning she had been with Adam. Victor whisked Skye away and arranged for her to have a new identity. Adam was arrested for Skye's murder. Daisy was ordered to live with Phyllis.

['Bones' - 'The Twisted Bones in the Melted Truck']

Here's the plan: my house is currently packed up in boxes as we get ready for a move to Colorado in a few days. Needless to say, time is limited to espouse on Temperance's new hair style or Booth's interest in thin ties. So, to keep it fairly short, I'm going to throw out a few topics on this week's episode of 'Bones' that you can discuss in the comments. In addition, if you have topics you want to discuss, please do so. Just keep it on topic and avoid the nastiness and flaming.

Don't worry, we'll return to the normal 'Bones' review next week. (Just as long as I can find my computer.)

['The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills' - 'My Mansion is Bigger Than Your Mansion']

On this week's episode of 'The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills', the ladies rhapsodized about love: Adrienne celebrated an anniversary, Taylor cried about her lifeless marriage and Kim wiggled into a skintight leopard print dress for her first foray back into the dating world.

Kim's love life has been on lockdown for ages. Like a princess trapped in a tower, cobwebs -- er wrinkles -- have sprung up all over her face. So Kyle lined up a makeover to get Kim in shape for a blind date with Lisa's friend Martin. Channel surfers who stumbled on the scene with Kim's facial may have mistaken the show for a horror movie because that was one scary-looking spa treatment.

['Grey's Anatomy' - 'Adrift and at Peace']

In an episode that just happened to have Christmas music playing in the background, Derek took Cristina fishing, Meredith and Owen argued, Bailey was still on a search for a solution to fistulas, Callie gained a backbone, and Teddy was given a re-hashed storyline.

This episode of 'Grey's Anatomy' really had nothing to do with Christmas, except for the occasional decor in the hospital. Instead, this episode chugged along with several of the plotlines we've been following this season, without any resolutions in sight.

It was interesting seeing Jamie Chung ('Dragonball Evolution') as one of the patients this week, because I still remember her from when she was on 'The Real World: San Diego.' I know that her part was small and a bit forgettable, but she did show some decent acting chops, so maybe she'll prove more interesting in 'The Hangover Part II.'

['Fringe' - 'Entrada']

This week, we were treated to a blue and red interchanging intro segment. That means we're finally done with this one episode "Over Here," one episode "Over There" nonsense. Plus, as promised, we got the resolution to the great Olivia switch storyline that's been running all season.

As a continuation of the overall story, 'Entrada' was a great chapter. As the culmination of a multi-episode struggle for Olivia to find her way home, while Fauxlivia exacts her mission in "our" world, it was a bit disappointing. Maybe they're saving all the fireworks for the aftermath next week.

It's not that it wasn't a satisfying episode in a lot of ways, because there were some great, genuine character moments. Walter even coined a new word I simply have to figure out how to work into a conversation. But, with all this build-up, I was expecting a nigh-epic explosion of confrontations on both sides of the veil between universes.

['Nikita' – 'Dark Matter']

'Nikita' has been in reruns for three weeks, and used tonight's return episode 'Dark Matter' not only to bring old viewers up to speed, but it also served as a pretty decent pilot for anyone tuning in for the first time. Indeed, nearly everything outside of Division itself served as an unofficial re-launch of the show's primary focus. Whereas early episodes featured Missions of the Week coupled with Alex's gradual infiltration of Division, the show has now given Nikita herself 1) a new overall mission, 2) a new partner, and 3) a new inside contact/potential romantic interest. Not a bad way to return from hiatus.

In fact, it's safe to say this was the strongest episode of the show to date. More happened in the first seven minutes than seemingly happened in the first seven episodes, giving the show a sense of urgency it didn't have in the early goings. Sure, the show almost always featured a great action set piece or two, but in terms of actually pushing the story forward in a feverish manner, it came up woefully short. Part of that has to do with the nature of a show like 'Nikita': it has an overall goal (Nikita brings down Division) but doesn't have an established end date. As with most shows with an open-ended run, it can occasionally tread water lest it burn too many narrative bridges along the way.

['The Vampire Diaries' - 'The Sacrifice']

In college, I had a friend who would tell everyone to "make good choices" every time he said goodbye. I wish he could've given that advice to basically every single person in last night's episode of 'The Vampire Diaries,' because there was some TERRIBLE DECISION-MAKING going on in Mystic Falls yesterday.

There must be something in the water at the Gilbert house, because Elena, Jeremy and Aunt Jenna apparently all made a pact to stop making rational life choices. Then they got Stefan and Bonnie in on the action (or, in Bonnie's case, non-action. Heyo!). Actually, the only person who didn't actually act like an idiot was Damon -- I know, right?!

['The Office' - 'China']

Ever finish watching an episode of one of your favorite shows and just shrug your shoulders and say "eh"? That's how I felt this week. It wasn't really objectionable, and there were some good moments, but there really wasn't much that would make me look back and think that this episode was special or memorable in any way.

This is actually an improvement on what I was thinking of the episode in its first few minutes. Knowing that the promos NBC had been airing all week looked like it pretty much laid out the weekly non sequitur cold open scene for scene, I wasn't holding out much hope for the episode. If NBC wasn't talking about it, then it had to be a bad sign. Then Michael comes into the office, spewing on and on about how he's just learned that China is an economic powerhouse that must be stopped, and I was ready for an eye-roller on the scale of last year's 'Mafia' debacle.

Then the focus turned, and the episode got better, rising in stature from "ecch" to "eh." It doesn't sound like much, but in that context, it's quite an achievement.

['30 Rock' - 'Chain Reaction of Mental Anguish']

"You gave his life meaning. His sacrifice made you what you are today, which is ... the lowest level employee at the last place network in America!" - Jack, to Kenneth, about eating his pet pig

This was one of those '30 Rock' episodes that seemed to take place in a surreal dream world. A lot of episodes have a bizarre plot element -- usually involving Tracy in some bizarre scheme or Kenneth being, well, Kenneth -- but this was filled to the brim with craziness and flashbacks and bad childhood memories and characters breaking down and crying or freaking out.

Actually, it was too weird.

['Community' - "Mixology Certification']

Age-based milestones are basically arbitrary. There are probably some people out there who are significantly more mature at 21 than they were at 22, but for most of us, the Drinking Age is important -- more because society says it important, and not because of any personal growth. Troy turned 21 in tonight's 'Community,' and he learned that being a grown-up really has nothing to do with numbers. He also learned that drinking isn't nearly as fun as it looks in the beer commercials.

'Mixology Certification' is the most traditional 'Community' has been in ages. There's no running meta commentary, no self-aware winks to the audience; Abed, the show's traditional fourth-wall breaker, spent the entire episode talking about 'Farscape.'

The movie parodies and fantastical comic set pieces (like the blanket-fort from last week) serve the series well, but an episode like this one, which stuck entirely on low-key character interaction and development, is just as important as the crazier bits. By focusing on the ensemble and letting the drama develop organically, 'Mixology' demonstrated how well-defined its characters have become, and it got pathos and humor without ever breaking a sweat.

['Friday Night Lights' - 'Kingdom']

There's a lot of transition going on in this season of 'Friday Night Lights,' and this episode epitomized just how much. It's more than just new faces at East Dillon, more than the team coming together on the field and off, and more than the families reuniting or growing apart (depending on the situation) and more than the passage of the football season.

Last season, the ignominious start for the East Dillon Lions with the forfeit to South King High had been controversial. That game still haunted some, and no matter how Coach Taylor (Kyle Chandler) tried to keep the focus on today, the past remained a sore point.

A few things popped to mind after watching tonight's episode of 'Survivor;' Jeff Probst seems to be finding it harder and harder to stomach people's idiocies (and, really, who can blame him), this season is not doing a whole helluva lot to bolster Nicaraguan tourism and, man, that Brenda may have been bitchy, but she sure is a babe.

Ok, some other things came to mind too, things like 'Please tell me they didn't really just sink so low as to hawk a studio movie in the middle of the rainforest,' but, we'll get to that -- and other sickening things -- in a moment.

['Top Chef All Stars' - 'History Never Repeats']

The very idea of 'Top Chef All Stars' is exciting. For one thing, if you've been a fan of 'Top Chef' for the past seven seasons, you already know these players. There's no need to get familiar with them, they're known quantities.

Marcel is annoying, but a great cook. Richard might have won if he hadn't choked in the finals. Tiffani overreached in her Season 1 finale and might have deserved the title of Top Chef after all. Every chef has a story that we already know.

So here we have the creme de la creme ... one step removed. This is the group of chefs who almost won the whole enchilada. To make it worth their while, there would be cash on the line.