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Blair the zealot: a mindset closer to a pathology than politics

New Labour dogma pervades Tony Blair's biography. Bringing it into the leadership race is a depressing mistake

Nearly over now, then – so let us count the cliches used to decry the Labour leadership contest. "Interminable," claims the Daily Telegraph. "The least inspiring contest ever," says a columnist in the Independent. "A bunch of clueless clodhoppers," reckons the characteristically emollient Mail. Now, the hysterically received Blair memoirs add another commonplace to the noise: that beneath the alleged tedium lurks grave danger – and if it isn't careful, Labour will stray from the New Labour path, and lurch into irrelevance.

I dutifully bought my copy of A Journey today, and eventually reached the postscript, in which Blair sets out his vision of the future. What awaited was a mess of suggestions, most of which seemed to favour a model of debate that would effectively be meaningless. For Labour, the ideal path entails "remaining flexible enough to attack the government from left and right". Even as the welfare state is hacked down and our few remaining social democratic institutions put under threat, "defining where you stand by reference to the opposite of where the other person stands is not just childish, but completely out of touch with where politics is today". The "statist, so-called Keynesian response to the economic crisis" is a busted flush; even starting to rein in pay at the top would do "more harm than good". Labour, as he sees it, "should criticise the composition but not the thrust of the Tory deficit reductions".

Behind all this there is a mindset that is closer to a pathology than thought-through politics. Even after the crash, all that is contemporary, sensible and electorally advantageous is reduced to what Blair calls "liberal economic policies, market reforms in welfare and public services, and" – note the graceful use of language here – "engagement and intervention abroad".

Anyone who questions this is is in danger of slipping back into the disgraced past. Under every bed, there lurks an "old Labour" red; even in the highest circles (witness an early reference in the book to Alastair Campbell: "much more old Labour" than some people, apparently) there is a constant danger of a return to a nightmare world of picket lines, nationalised everything, and serial Labour losses. In Blair's rather paranoid account, even Lib Dems have "old Labour" instincts: and the coalition will prosper only if it squashes them.

Some salient facts. Between 1997 and 2010, Labour lost 5 million votes, of which 4 million went under his watch. In the eight years up to 2005 the party also mislaid over half its membership (often maligned as a rabble of unrepresentative anoraks – but still the chief means by which Labour actually wins elections). At his last general election, moreover, Blair led the party to a truly hollow victory: the support of 22% of the electorate, an outcome sufficiently chastening that he stood outside Downing Street and claimed to have "listened and learned". In both the noise surrounding publication or the text itself, almost none of this has been mentioned.

A typical leader in one of today's papers paid tribute to his three "emphatic" victories, and in his Andrew Marr interview Blair looked back on the 2010 defeat with the same black-and-white analysis. "If we departed a millimetre from New Labour, we were in trouble," he said, as if he bore none of the blame. Far from what the memoirs call "an approach based on reason, on the abstinence from ideological dogma", this is its complete reverse: the thinking of the zealot, as full of dogmatic stupidity as the hard-left politics Blair still sees round every corner.

Of late – as evidenced by warnings from Blair, Mandelson and those voices who share their view of things – this has resulted in one of the more depressing aspects of the Labour leadership contest: claims that "Red" Ed Miliband is a dangerous old Labour throwback. No matter that his handful of policy proposals – for the tentative roll-out of a living wage, or a graduate tax, or the high pay commission also supported by his brother – are modest and somewhat cautious. In the wake of an editorial claiming that even his brother was in danger of drifting too far to the left, one Times columnist – the venerable David Aaronovitch – compared him to Michael Foot.

On Monday, I turned on the Today programme to hear another pundit say: "He is properly leftwing. Really leftwing. He wouldn't admit this now, but if you'd asked him a few years ago who his political hero was, he'd have said Tony Benn. And I don't mean cuddly, modern Tony Benn, I mean Tony Benn in his pomp, in the 1960s and 1970s."

The Labour party, I would imagine, has the sense to understand that this is the stuff of fear, voiced by people with no real understanding of either the real world, or the problems Labour has to address, and soon. At least twice in his book, Blair parrots a rollcall of English towns – "Hastings, Crawley, Worcester, Basildon, Harrow" – whose people, he seems to imagine, have experienced no downside of his beloved "liberal economic policies", and even as the cuts bite, will not want anything significantly different. One is reminded of a priceless sentence, uttered circa 2008 by an unnamed Labour minister, seemingly convinced that the stockbroker belt ran far wider than once thought. "£150,000 isn't much money in Reading," he reckoned. Just to set the record straight, half the people who work in that town earn less than £21,000 a year.

No housing shortages in "middle England", surely; no insecurity at work, or time poverty, or fretting about the debt that people's children now rack up in pursuit of an education; come to think of it, none of the bundle of worries that always sit under all those concerns about immigration. Even with the application of work and imagination, Blair and his cheerleaders allege, modern social democracy has no hope in these places; and by implication, it has no realistic chance at all. This is not just a counsel of despair, but a desertion of Labour's most basic mission. In A Journey, the basics of the party's fate are summed up with the unbending simplicity of a dalek: "Labour won when it was New Labour. It lost because it stopped being New Labour."

Towards the end of the book, its author says he has come back to the fray to find politics in disarray, and feels more motivated to impart his gospel than ever. "I find my old world in a state of despair and feel shocked and galvanised by this," he says. "Perhaps that is because I am removed from it and so think I see it more clearly."

The next bit is in parentheses, but it's among the most telling sentences he writes: "This could be an illusion."

It is, of course. It probably always was.


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  • Giftedcynic Giftedcynic

    1 Sep 2010, 9:12PM

    But the reality is that if Labour go into the next election with a left-wing manifesto - more tax and spend - then they will lose. It really is as simple as that.

    Not sure if you watched the C4 debate amongst the potential leaders but they all came across as utterly clueless and hollow - none of them were able to articulate a vision for how Labour could get back into power let alone specific policies. And all bar one lacked any substance or authority - the exception was D Milliband.

  • LinearBandKeramik LinearBandKeramik

    1 Sep 2010, 9:12PM

    I dutifully bought my copy of A Journey today

    I appreciate it's your job and all, but couldn't you have just read it for free in a bookshop with a cafe? I hate the thought of giving that warmonger even more money.

  • tybo tybo

    1 Sep 2010, 9:14PM

    "The unbending simplicity of a dalek"

    Nail on the head.

    But the thing is though he is surely a zealot, what is he actually a zealot for? A zealot of the gospel of Tony, I suppose.

  • hermionegingold hermionegingold

    1 Sep 2010, 9:19PM

    the venerable David Aaronovitch

    ha ha john.

    interesting that when interviewing tonyb, andym said he was closer to cameron
    than anyone of the leadership contenders.

    "i will always support labour even if they vote for diane"

    as performance & truth it bore all the reality and hallmarks of the latest starlet/trollop on hollyoaks. deeply shallow.

    good article.

  • mikeeverest mikeeverest

    1 Sep 2010, 9:20PM

    I wrote and told Polly Toynbee that Blair, Mandelson and co were simply Tories who couldn't bear to join the conservatives when they were growing up because Thatcher was "uncool". It wasn't a difficult spot.

    What I didn't realise was that he suffers from narcissistic personality disorder, which is now very obvious and, if you understand the disorder, explains everything that has ever happened and continues to happen in relation to Blair and NuLab.

  • SirOrfeo SirOrfeo

    1 Sep 2010, 9:23PM

    New Labour dogma pervades Tony Blair's biography. Bringing it into the leadership race is a depressing mistake

    Quite. In fact, it really goes beyond New Labour dogma. In terms of privatising public services, Blair actually comes across as very ideological - and ideology, as we know, would be a fairly generous word for the incoherent morass of reactionary policy that was New Labour.

    The problem with much of the debate about the way forward for Labour is that it's depicted in such a simplistic way that implies we must either continue with Blair's rotten reforms ad infinitem until the whole country is run by Serco, or that we should do the precise opposite, nationalise everything and go on permanent strike.

    Actually, as with most things in life, the best policy falls somewhere between the two extremes. We could roll back the Blair era's most damaging economic and public service reform policies, permanently ringfencing the publicly-owned status of schools, hospitals, prisons, armed forces etc. We could also scale back Labour's illiberal tendencies, while at the same time continuing to encourage genuine enterprise (other than the state-granted monopolies like the rail network and utilities, which simply fleece us for a lot of money with very little return.)

  • JacktheNat JacktheNat

    1 Sep 2010, 9:25PM

    Blair the zealot: a mindset closer to a pathology than politics

    I won't be buying the book, preferring to give my money to the British Legion directly.

    In Blair and Brown, the City, the US, Israel and the British state found a pair of useful tools. Most of the media went along with them and their adopted orthodoxies -- and their effective destruction of the participatory Labour party -- uncritically for the best part of 20 years.

    All this talk about it was New Labour wot won it in 1997 and will again if David Miliband is crowned is just hooey. The Hare Krishnas could have beaten the dilapidated Tories then and since had not Blair, Brown and their poisonous little apparatchiks not spent most of those years publicly rowing over not very much at all.

    No great issues of principle separated any of them then and now -- just a lot of overpromoted little twerps enjoying japes in the dorm while the country goes to war -- and to pieces.

  • OdysseyByNumbers OdysseyByNumbers

    1 Sep 2010, 9:26PM

    A typical leader in one of today's papers paid tribute to his [Blair's] three "emphatic" victories,

    IIRC the alleged third "emphatic" victory consisted of circa 36% of the vote. That seems to me like more like First Past The Post voting rather than any victory emphatic or otherwise.

  • CheshireSalt CheshireSalt

    1 Sep 2010, 9:27PM

    Like so many people on the political left Mr Harris thinks that politics is really simple for a Labour leader. There is the tedious business of winning a general election but since the opposing parties are comprised of fools and knaves that should not be too difficult. Then once in power all the Labour PM has to do is to formulate a series of laws to redistribute money and power towards their own supporters and the job is done. Anyone who does not do this is obviously a traitor or a closet Tory.

    What happens in fact is that any PM newly entering office is rapidly mugged by reality. Government is just not that easy in the real world. Predictions of the future are always unwise but looking at the five candidates for the Labour party leadership none of them instantly strikes me as a three time election winner. Revolutionary thought perhaps but is it just possible that Blair and Mandelson know what they are talking about when the warn the party against retreat into a pre 1994 mentality?

  • lightacandle lightacandle

    1 Sep 2010, 9:28PM

    " For Labour, the ideal path entails "remaining flexible enough to attack the government from left and right"."

    Yes that does sound like Mr Blair doesn't it. Two faced policies to fit a two faced approach - i.e. New Labour.

    "Anyone who questions this is is in danger of slipping back into the disgraced past. Under every bed, there lurks an "old Labour" red;"

    Rather have an 'old Labour' red than a 'New Labour' blue under my bed any day.

  • AJFrance AJFrance

    1 Sep 2010, 9:29PM

    Is the Middle East collapsing while he is over here flogging his book? The man should disappear abroad for as long as possible. It doesn't matter what he does because he bears no responsibility for anything, except maybe fox hunting anf FoI. God alone will judge him.

    He grows more surreal every day.

  • Kepler Kepler

    1 Sep 2010, 9:31PM

    Good stuff from Mr. Harris

    You do wonder whether Robert Harris's 'Ghost' was on the mark, and Tony was just a spook implanted in the Labour Party by the CIA.

    The more you think about it, the more it makes sense.

    . .

  • namak namak

    1 Sep 2010, 9:32PM

    Tony Blair is 21st century version of Ramsey McDonald. Thinks he is better than all of the rest of the Labour Party and most of its supporters. Now he thinks that there should be military action against Iran as part of his crusade against the Islamists.

    And he thinks that he is an honest broker as a Middle East peace envoy.

    Delusions.......

  • CheshireSalt CheshireSalt

    1 Sep 2010, 9:34PM

    @JacktheNat
    In Blair and Brown, the City, the US, Israel and the British state found a pair of useful tools

    Ah yes, the City, the US, Israel and the British state - those Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse. Sword, famine, pestilence and death.

  • shlick shlick

    1 Sep 2010, 9:38PM

    "In the wake of an editorial claiming that even his brother was in danger of drifting too far to the left, one Times columnist – the venerable David Aaronovitch – compared him to Michael Foot."

    "the venerable David Aaronovitch" David Aeronovitch, venerable? Purleeze! unless you were being heavily ironic, which is what I suspect, but one can never tell, given that the average journalist changes with the wind. The only ones you can trust are people like Pilger (why doesn't the Guardian let him in?) perhaps Fisk in the Independent, and certainly the late Paul Foot. RIP.

    btw, Aeronovitch is so vehemently right-wing I'm surprised he hasn't tried to set up a political party in an attempt to put his right-wing attitude into practise.

  • JollityFarm JollityFarm

    1 Sep 2010, 9:39PM

    And I don't mean cuddly, modern Tony Benn, I mean Tony Benn in his pomp, in the 1960s and 1970s

    I don't think Tony Benn was properly hard-left until at least the mid-70s. And he wouldn't say any different himself, I don't think.

  • HammondOrganB3 HammondOrganB3

    1 Sep 2010, 9:39PM

    one Times columnist – the venerable David Aaronovitch – compared [Ed Miliband] to Michael Foot.

    He is also a former Guardian columnist. Quite why this paper gave that far-right, hard-right, pro-war, whining, armchair bully a weekly dole for him to pour bile into the world is a question that has been left unanswered.

  • Corinthian11 Corinthian11

    1 Sep 2010, 9:42PM

    Blair's vision of the political process is one party who represent extreme free market liberalism, with the withering away of the state as its core value - and another party who represents extreme free market economic liberalism with the withering away of the state as its core value with a couple more crumbs for the peasants...

    To Blair and his ilk and to the majority of political commentators anything to the left of this extreme right wing agenda is 'hard left'.

    Blair is and was always an entryist - New Labour meant eventually - no labour.

  • Tichtheid Tichtheid

    1 Sep 2010, 9:44PM

    Kepler
    1 Sep 2010, 9:31PM

    Good stuff from Mr. Harris

    I agree.

    The next Labour leader (Ed) should plant a flag in the sand and say, "This is what we are, this is what we stand for, this is what we will do for you and the country if you vote for us" Then spend the next three or four years trying to win the electorate over to their way of thinking.

    There is a debate to be won, and it can be won. You don't have to swallow this forelock-tugging to the city.
    Heavens above, we've only just got rid of the idea of the landed gentry knowing best, why on earth would you want to replace them with loan sharks and bookies? - that's what the City is!

    We couldn't get rid of the markets overnight, but we could make them a force for good.

  • hideandseeker hideandseeker

    1 Sep 2010, 9:45PM

    Tony Blair never touched a joint during his entire time at Oxford. I can tell you for a fact that this was most unusual at that time when just about everyone had the odd toke (at least). As such, I conclude that the man is a nerd of the highest order.
    I would love to see him take some nice cool aid LSD and then have the opportunity to reflect on his political actions of the last two decades. However, I suspect the experience would trigger a psychotic breakdown when he was confronted by the blankness of his soul...

  • shufflebox shufflebox

    1 Sep 2010, 9:46PM

    Just come back from months in the US, and on the coach back to Brum I was feeling relatively happy to be heading home. Then I heard the utterly shallow coverage surrounding Blair's book, then I heard a story about some poor sodding goat in Manchester being tortured or something, then I watched a bit of Marr mollycoddling Blair (who, deluded sod though he is, gives a good interview) then I watched the Labour leadership debate on C4, and now I feel morose as hell.

    I don't buy giftedcynic's shallow and over-confident remarks about 'left-wing manifestos', and I disagree that David M showed authority and substance (I got the distinct impression that going through his mind was "must show 'Authority' and 'Substance', must show 'Authority' and 'Substance'"), but I do agree that the debate was pretty hollow. Saying that, I felt it had as much to do with the format as anything; asking for answers to your questions in 1 minute slices rarely leads to anything enlightening.

    And as for this 'Red Ed' nonsense; it's beyond parody.

  • shufflebox shufflebox

    1 Sep 2010, 9:50PM

    hear hear Titcheid (and though voting for Ed M myself I've only a dim idea of what kind of leader he'd end up being if he won).

    and hear hear hideandseeker - "blankness of soul" sums up how Blair comes across to me.

  • raymonddelauney raymonddelauney

    1 Sep 2010, 9:50PM

    Happily and confidently he'll cheer on our boys in these engagements he waffles on about. Not - his boys - you understand. Just yours and mine.

    I can't think of a more vainglorious reprehensible moron that has ever held high office in this country.

    I do hope his whistlestop itinerary allows him time for a signing in the Baghdad Waterstones. It might be an opportunity for him to see his real legacy, and not the deluded hall of mirrors he currently occupies.

  • qualitystreet qualitystreet

    1 Sep 2010, 9:52PM

    Blair calls "liberal economic policies, market reforms in welfare and public services, and" – note the graceful use of language here – "engagement and intervention abroad".

    Blair, criticizes tax credits for the poor, wants us to be more sympathetic to the likes of Lehman Brothers and Goldman Sachs, wants to cut tax for the super rich. Blair's agenda, has become the agenda of the global hedge fund manager.

    Abroad he wants permanent or "generational war" as he calls it. Which can only lead to more impoverishment as resources are diverted to increased military spending. Blair's appetite for more confrontation and further wars is unabated.

    He told Andrew Marr that he reneged on his promise to Gordon Brown step down, partly because Brown was against Identity cards. Blair stayed on for further years to ensure Identity cards became compulsory in Britain.

    How are these the policies of the leader of a left on centre party?

  • exnewlabour exnewlabour

    1 Sep 2010, 9:54PM

    According to Blair, anyone who departs a millimetre from New Labour is heading for electoral oblivion.

    If this is true it's a pretty depressing comment on our politics, leaving no room for a slightly left of centre party.

    But I don't think it is true. Our politics can surely support a social democratic party and a liberal conservative one, the two taking turns in office, each doing some good and spending a lot of time undoing the damage left by its predecessor. Not very pretty but surely the most realistic prospect for any advanced democracy.

    Blair is stuck in 1980s thinking - everything must be done to get the Tories out at all costs, never mind the damage you do to your own party's political identity and thus its prospects for the future. He just couldn't bear the idea of Labour losing elections, but in any healthy democracy all parties will win some and lose some, and so together as a society we move forward incrementally.

  • shlick shlick

    1 Sep 2010, 10:04PM

    HammondOrganB3
    1 Sep 2010, 9:39PM

    "one Times columnist – the venerable David Aaronovitch – compared [Ed Miliband] to Michael Foot.
    He is also a former Guardian columnist. Quite why this paper gave that far-right, hard-right, pro-war, whining, armchair bully a weekly dole for him to pour bile into the world is a question that has been left unanswered."

    Yes indeed HammondOrganB3, at least the Guardian finally sussed how rabidly right-wing this man was and got shot of him, straight into the Murdoch empire where he rightly belongs.

  • Timnik2 Timnik2

    1 Sep 2010, 10:07PM

    Thank you John for the best article I have read about this miserable charlatan, Blair.We need more articles like this in the Guardian and far fewer from Glover and Kettle....

  • Tichtheid Tichtheid

    1 Sep 2010, 10:10PM

    exnewlabour
    1 Sep 2010, 9:54PM

    ...... in any healthy democracy all parties will win some and lose some, and so together as a society we move forward incrementally.

    The way I see it, and I know others see it differently, is that the improvements that make a difference to our lives, the improvements in working terms and conditions, the absolute right to not being put in danger of your life in the workplace, maternity agreements, paternity agreements, a health service that does its damnedest to provide world-class care to anyone who walks through the door of a hospital, to the efforts to educate everyone, irrespective of background, to a universally high standard ... all of these and more are the standards of the Left, we may not have always attained our goals, but that does not n any way invalidate those goals.

    That is what Labour should be canvassing for - the arguments about how we pay for it are where we divide, but the very financially well off don't face problems in the areas above, why should the rest of the electorate?

  • hinschelwood hinschelwood

    1 Sep 2010, 10:13PM

    ClassConscious

    Give me New Labour dogma to ConDem poor-bashing any day

    You don't get it do you? Thatcher told us, in no uncertain terms, that she was going to take a gigantic dump on all of us. She then proceeded to do that.

    Blair told us that he was different and nice, while shitting on us just as badly.

    That's the difference. Thatcher at least told the truth. Blair lied about everything. Now the ConDems are doing the same but telling the truth while they are doing it. I don't like it, but it's preferable to the NuLab doubletalk.

  • girvanite girvanite

    1 Sep 2010, 10:15PM

    Excellent article Mr Harris.

    Now, can we move on from this self serving dangerous loony (Blair) and start explaining to people that the coalition has one purpose and that is to make the rich richer and the poor poorer.

    Of course the Labour party has sat back in their leader election cave in full knowledge that they will be more popular when the population is feeling the full brunt of the Tory cuts. It is simply more self serving politics and absolutely nothng to do with fighing for for the rights of their ever dwindling 'core vote'.

    And by the way 'Middle England' you are not infact part of the millionaire Tory gang. The working classes have taken it in the neck for the last thirty years and you are next.

  • Leopold1904 Leopold1904

    1 Sep 2010, 10:20PM

    Can't fault this Mr Harris except [quibble quibble] this tangential whinge -

    In the wake of an editorial claiming that even his brother was in danger of drifting too far to the left, one Times columnist – the venerable David Aaronovitch – compared him to Michael Foot.

    Michael Foot - someone regarded as a friend by both the Queen Mother and Jimmy Reid - can be called venerable, but it does not work as a satiric adjective for DA for several reasons; perhaps you meant 'venerated', but despite his being a better writer than any comparable Guardian staffer, that doesn't really cut it either.

    That apart this is a fine picture of that empty man Tony Blair, who will be seen as the strangest and darkest of our prime ministers

  • exnewlabour exnewlabour

    1 Sep 2010, 10:24PM

    Titcheid,

    Fair comments, but much of it has to be paid for by the same taxpayers who benefit from it. So it's a trade-off between cost and equality. Tony thought that he had abolished this problem, but he hadn't, he merely deferred it or cloaked it in the benefits of the illusory prosperity.

  • Happytobeasocialist Happytobeasocialist

    1 Sep 2010, 10:24PM

    Good article John. Spot on.

    The only mystery is why its taken so long for many to see Blair for what he really is - a sociopath. This is a prime example of the 'Emperors new clothes'. As long as Blair could deliver election victories he was untouchable - no matter what the cost was to the Party or the country as a whole.

    New Labour was a reactionary party of the centre right which alienated not just working class, but middle class supporters.

    Now the fear is that Labour will move back to the centre left - which is exactly what it needs to do to re-connect with millions of voters. That fear is the fear of the rich and corporations who have had it all their own way for the past thirty years.

  • hinschelwood hinschelwood

    1 Sep 2010, 10:25PM

    the postscript, in which Blair sets out his vision of the future. What awaited was a mess of suggestions, most of which seemed to favour a model of debate that would effectively be meaningless.

    Thanks for this. Some might say that it spoils the ending, but most of us saw this long ago as the whole substance of Blair.

    No idea of what he's talking about. Grand gestures with no understanding of the consequences. Rejecting good and intelligent criticism. Setting up talking shops while deciding policy on his sofa with a few courtiers.

    Blair and his like are the worst blight on politics in this country since the blatant corruption of Lloyd George, but you'd have to go back to the 1820s to find anybody in power as stupid and incompetent.

  • Firstact Firstact

    1 Sep 2010, 10:28PM

    Tony Blair was a sharp lawyer, a skilled projector of his better self, a chameleon, a Labour conservative, a chancer, a charmer, an opportunist, a former wannabe rock star, a talented orator, a loyal husband, a good father, a guitar player, a fantasist, a friend of Jesus, a hater of detail when it didn’t suit him, a lover of power and influence, a schoolboy joker, a political maverick, a riddle to his deeper self, an amusing companion, a perpetual optimist, a consummate flatterer, a devious and winning negotiator, a faker, a raconteur, a rotten student of history, a ghost writer, a philanthropist, a guilt ridden survivor of bloodstained folly.

  • hinschelwood hinschelwood

    1 Sep 2010, 10:39PM

    At this point, can I ask that the Guardian does not put a huge picture of Tony Blair on the main web page ever again? It's very off-putting and is likely to scare people away from the site.

  • shlick shlick

    1 Sep 2010, 10:39PM

    Firstact
    1 Sep 2010, 10:28PM

    " (Blair) a good father"

    Well, Firstact , there were stories circulating when his daughter was thirteen but I won't go further than that because I would most definitely be deleted.

  • gloriana gloriana

    1 Sep 2010, 10:48PM

    Someone higher up on this thread suggested that Tony Blair might suffer from "narcissistic personality disorder." Generally I dislike labelling people in such an easy fashion, but in this case there is a certain ring of truth about it. Why were we not aware of it when Blair was in power?

    No doubt several of you will rush to declare that you knew this all along; but personally I can't lay claim to such sharp perception, and I suspect that there were lots of others like me. We knew we were disappointed in him, but weren't sure why he behaved as he did.

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