Morning everyone. How's your stomach this morning? Feeling any little flutters of butterfly wings? No? Not even a tiny bit? Not even a smidgen?
Bumble is out looking at the pitch. "We have got a game on here," he tells us, his voice quickening with anticipation, "this is not going to be easy for England".
He could be wrong of course. It wouldn't be the first time. But there is a buzz about the sports desk in the office today. For the first time this summer, England are in the thick of a real Test here.
Those who know these kinds of things tell me that Pakistan were 500-1 to win this match yesterdday. This morning that's fallen to 16-1. 500-1? Now when have I heard those odds in cricket before? Has anyone told Rod Marsh?
Saeed Ajmal has some stones, and no word of a lie. He's talking to Nasser at the moment, a huge grin on his face. 'How did England bowl yesterday?' asks Nass "Very badly, very very badly. Anderson was easy for me, for 20 balls I had easy ones and twos, no problems at all." When the camera cuts back to the commentary box, Atherton, Warne and Gower are all in hysterics. Gower can hardly get a word out between his giggles. "At least he's not talking about getting the ball in good areas," chuckles Atherton.
Pakistan's lead is 112. That's probably 50-odd runs shy of being a really stiff challenge for England. And of course if they hadn't dropped all catches, they would be firm favourites to win this match. I wonder how Alastair Cook slept last night? Whatever happens this morning, we're going to get an insight into just what thios England team is made of. Will they have been able to regroup overnight? Having let their foot slip off the opposition's throat yesterday afternoon, are they going to be able to stick it back there this morning?
This email from Dom O'Reilly starts slowly, and then gets better and better: "Great to see the Pakistani fightback yesterday but was it down to defeat looking certain and the pressure being off? A bit like Broad and Swann in the second dig at Headingley last year. On Broad's petulance, when will Strauss and Flower sort him out? He clearly thought Zulqarnain had edged behind - and replays/snicko suggested he was right - but surely the best response was to get him out or at least put in a nasty bouncer? When we watched the incident on the highlights, my two-year-old son pointed at the screen and said. 'Naughty. And silly.' So Broad is less mature than a two-year-old boy."
Before all that of course, England need to take this last wicket... here come the players.
117th over: Pakistan 296-9 (Gul 13 Asif 14) "Morning Andy," says Andrew Thomas, just barely able to contain himself, "I AM RIDICULOUSLY NERVOUS. Ahem. Sorry for shouting, but nobody else in the office gives a toss and I had to tell someone. The more I think about, the more apparent it becomes: we are going to cock this up big-style." You've come to the right place Andrew. England fans should be in their element this morning. It's that old familiar feeling for anyone who grew up in the 1990s - doubt, hesitation, anxiety. All the things that made us fall in love with English cricket. Some of you will hate that. Some of you will want England to be ruthless and efficient and clinical and all those other Australian things. Not me. I want a morning of exquisite agony and tension. That's the hit I crave. Swann starts the attack for the day, bowling around the wicket with an in-out field, designed to snaffle chances and also restrict boundaries. His second ball is a full toss, and Asif turns it away for a single to mid-wicket. The lead grows a little more as Gul sweeps two runs out square, and then squeezes two more through the covers. A good start for him.
WICKET! Asif 14 c Pietersen b Broad (118th over: Pakistan 296) Broad starts at the other end. He is a little poorer than he was this time yesterday, having been fined half his match fee overnight. He fores down two bouncers at Asif, much to Michael Holding's satisfaction. "Everbody talks as if England are already at the crease," says Tom Hopkins, "A refreshed Gul will make England look for 150. I bet England will be prying for rain about 14:30." I do hope you haven't just put the kiss of death on the man, Richard. These two have put on 27 so far. Oh you fool. Why did I print that email? Having ducked under two short balls, Asif steers the next straight to gully for an ewasy catch. England need 118 to win.
And here come the batsmen.
1st over: England 2-0 (Strauss 2 Cook 0) need 118 to win "Bearing in mind what it was like in 2005 at Trent Bridge," says John Starbuck, "how many wickets do England have to lose before the heebie-jeebies really kick in?" It's amazing what a difference it makes having Eoin Morgan in the side, now more than ever I notice the calming effects of having a man with anti-freeze for blood batting in the middle-order. Realistically, England should do this without too many problems, given that they bat so deep. Amir has opened the attack. This is also a tough Test for Salman Butt, who must be in a bit of a quandry as to what kind of field to set. He has only the two slips in place at the moment. Strauss pulls two runs out mid-wicket way. He leaves the next ball alone, though it jags back in wickedly and shaves past his off stump.
2nd over: England 6-0 (Strauss 2 Cook 4) need 118 to win "'England need 118 to win'. May as well go ball by ball," reckons Elliot Carr-Barnsley, "You're forgetting this is mean new England. Strauss will flay them, Cook will probably get a cheeky 28 not out and retain his place thereon." We'll see. Asif is opening the attack from the City End. Cook leaves the first two balls well alone, watching them drift by his off-stump. What a truly wonderful bowler this fella is. It is an amazing testament to his skill that he can get away with delivering the ball at 75mph in modern international cricket. Cook plays the next two, pushing one to point and another to mid-on. The sixth ball snicks off his edge through third slip, and Cook whips his head around in panic to see if he has been spared. There is no one there and the ball shoot away to third man for four.
WICKET! Cook 4 b Amir (3rd over: England 6-1) need 118 to win Holding is adamant that Pakistan should have a third man in place, or a third slip at the very least. An interesting take this, from Patrick Murphy: "I don't just want the agony: I want Pakistan to do this. The balance of this England side is wrong. We're going to need five bowlers for the Ashes: the 4 man attack very quickly looked threadbare yesterday and looks worse when one of them bowlers gets in a monk and throws his toys. Far too quickly this England side have developed a sense of entitlement to win without quite the same die hard spirit that the Aussies had to go with it. They need a wake up call. And frankly, its great to see Pakistan get some spirit back. Will be a great remainder of the series if they win this." Well you've got your wish Patrick! Cook has gone! Bowled by a ball that kept a little low as it shot off the pitch. It slipped straight through his gate, as he tried to drop his bat on it and ripped out his off stump. That's the kind of delivery that is going to worry all the batsmen watching in the dressing room. Boy oh boy he is going to come under some serious pressure for his place now. How are those butterflies doing folks? Here's Jon Trott. He edges his first ball down onto the turf towards slip.
4th over: England 10-1 (Strauss 5 Trott 1) need 118 to win "Cook bowled," chuckles Keith Flett, "Another clean shaven public schoolboy bites the dust; Watch out Clegg." Strauss flicks a single to fine leg, and Trott tickles another to the leg side, Strauss turns another to mid-wicket. Tick-tock tick-tock, this is the way to do it. The next ball is a brute though, hardly bouncing above ankle height. Trott flails at it in desperation. And the next is even uglier. Again, Trott is in all kinds of trouble trying to defend a grubber. If Asif gets any of these ball straight in line with the stumps England will be in all sorts of trouble. Back to that last email from Patrick, the counter-argument people will make is that England have a much, much better record in Test matches when they have been playing four bowlers rather than five in recent years. I don't have the stats to hand, but I am sure someone else out there does...
5th over: England 12-1 (Strauss 6 Trott 2) need 118 to win Amir fires down a yorker, but the delivery is a shade too short and Strauss pats it away to leg. Trott clips the next off his hip for another single. For the rest of the over Strauss is pinned back in his crease by Amir. It's surprising how many of you seem to agree with Patrick Murphy. Stuart Broad seems to have irritated a lot of cricket fans with his behaviour yesterday. Here's Kawsar Shah with a fairly typical missive: "Spot on Patrick Murphy - you can see England's sense of entitlement in their body language and attitude towards the Pakistan players. Broad's behaviour yesterday was disgraceful, as was the fact that not one England player congratulated Haider on his half-ton."
6th over: England 17-1 (Strauss 10 Trott 3) need 118 to win Trott squirts an edge past gully. "'Realistically, England should do this without too many problems...'" recalls Richard Hands, quoting me to back to myself, "yeah, right, invite pain into your life, why don't you? Better, far, to assume England are going to succumb to a mass attack of the collywobbles (or cookwobbles) and bat like... well, England, chasing a modest total in the fourth innings of a Test match they should already have won. Honestly, you'll feel much better..." Zulqarnain Haider wanders up to the stumps and has a little word in Strauss's ear, then walks back to his 'keeping mark chuckling to himself. Strauss looks unamused. He grits his teeth and then forces the next ball through long-off for four, which is some rebuke.
7th over: England 17-1 (Strauss 10 Trott 3) need 118 to win Trott chases a wide ball and comes oh-so-close to edging it behind. Lucky man. The backlash has begun: "England congratulating Haider?" scoffs Dan Butcher, "His over the top reaction to his 50 said everything about why Pakistan are losing this series. His team is getting spanked, he should have hung his head in shame and given a single waft of the bat and got on with it. Like Freddie against SA a few years ago – that was class."
8th over: England 18-1 (Strauss 11 Trott 3) need 118 to win Butt decides to slip his first trick from out of his sleeve: Saeed Ajmal is coming into the attack. Have England figured out how to pick his doosra since they faced him last? He comes around the wicket to Strauss. And that's a drop! Strauss flashes a drive off the backfoot and snicks the ball behind to Haider, who bungles the catch. It was a very tough chance, and if anything Haider seems to be feeling even more cocksure afterwards, flashing Strauss a big grin. The sixth ball is all wrong and drifts down leg, so Strauss pats it away square.
9th over: England 21-1 (Strauss 12 Trott 5) need 118 to win By the way, if you happen to be flat on your back on a beach in Portugal, then Mike Adamson would like to say a big hello to you. If you're not, then please excuse the in-joke. "Broad's behaviour is symptomatic of the misconception that to play aggressive, ruthless cricket, you have to be an insufferable prat," says Michael Rogers, "This presumably took root during the pomp of Matthew Hayden. It would have helped if Broad had been banned - rather now than following a laughable hissy-fit at the MCG, which is surely on the menu." By the end of this over the target is down to double figures. England need another 97.
10th over: England 23-1 (Strauss 13 Trott 5) need 118 to win Strauss drops into a crouch and sweeps a single away square. Ajmal's next ball is over-pitched and Trott flicks it away to leg. "That's what you want to see as a spinner," says Warne, "the batsman playing across the line." Here's Mark Shaw: "I'm not sure I quite understand all the moaning about this England team I've seen on these pages in the last couple of days? Why does a side which drew in South Africa in the winter, and has won 6 consecutive tests since then, need a 'wake up call'? I personally think England would be silly to go into the Ashes with a different make up to th side, don't think any of the seamers in reserve are that good that they would make any great difference, so why not stick with the plan from last winter (scrap like buggers to get every run you can, and take your chance when it comes along).
And can we all stop getting so worked up about all this 'sense of entitlement' rubbish...Broad was out of order yesterday, deserves his fine, now lets just get on with worrying about this run chase."
11th over: England 24-1 (Strauss 13 Trott 6) need 118 to win There are some cool heads in this England team these days aren't there? Strauss, Trott, Collingwood and Morgan, they could hardly muster a bead of sweat between them. Another play and a miss from Trott, who keeps chasing after wide drive balls from Amir. He has done that three times now, and on each occasion the ball has fizzed past his outside edge as he tried to take advantage of what seemed to be an easy run-scoring opportunity.
12th over: England 26-1 (Strauss 14 Trott 8) need 118 to win Butt has a slip, a short leg, a silly point and a short mid-off in place for Trott, who immediately spoils that intricately-planned field by squeezing a thick edge away for a run. Strauss, cool as you like, steps forward to block Ajmal's next two deliveries and then, as soon as there is a little width, pushes another run out to point.
13th over: England 29-1 (Strauss 17 Trott 8) need 118 to win Maybe what Cook needs is a batting masterclass with Mark Ramprakash. In which case he should enter this competition here. Strauss flicks two more to the leg side, and Amir then spears a back-of-a-length ball through Strauss' defensive prod, hitting him on the hip. "Didn't we find it slightly amusing when Simon Jones threw the ball and hit Matthew Hayden in his follow through in 2005?" remembers Ian Burch. "It could have been accidental, but then again maybe not. At least Jones, with his shaven head and muscular physique, looked the part when he did this. Yesterday Broad just looked like a prat. Kids these days, I blame the parents."
14th over: England 35-1 (Strauss 21 Trott 9) need 118 to win Ajmal continues from around the wicket, and Strauss pats a single away to cover. These two have played Ajmal well so far. If I were Butt I'd be thinking of bringing Asif back into the attack. Trott picks Ajmal's doosra and stands back in his crease, playing the ball late out to the off side. The next ball snicks off the edge for four to fine leg. England are really ticking along towards this total now. But then, just as confidence is beginning to creep in, Ajmal delivers a ludicrous grubber that scuttles off the pitch underneath Strauss' bat.
15th over: England 39-1 (Strauss 21 Trott 13) need 118 to win It seems Michael White's thoughts are elsewhere: "In trying to answer the question 'what does "gets in a monk" mean, from Patrick Murphy's email (3rd over) I looked up a rhyming slang dictionary - http://www.cockneyrhymingslang.co.uk/slang/J, which interestingly deifnes "Jaffa" as meaning Mistake (from Jaffa cake). Does anyone know whre the term jaffa - meaning beautifully bowled ball, comes from? And can Patrick Murphy, or anyone, say what "gets in a monk" means? I assume it means a childish strop, but what's the etymology?" As for jaffa, no one really knows for sure, but it is generally accepted that Richie Benaud is the man most likely to know, and he says it comes from the just after the second world war, when rationing meant that jaffa oranges were especially prized. Now I've typed that out I realise how ludicrous an explanation it sounds if the person offering the explanation doesn't have Richie's gravitas. That's four from Trott, sterring the ball away past slip.
16th over: England 47-1 (Strauss 25 Trott 14) need 118 to win England are coasting along in third gear now. Strauss takes two and he and Trott then swap singles either side of the pitch. The last ball is threaded through cover for four by Strauss. "Unfortunately, Mark Shaw, for instance, misses the point about England's 'sense of entitlement (as in football as well)'," points out Lou Roper, who seems to be feeling pretty frisky this morning "having won a few matches against teams under repair (surely this is a low point in terms of the calibre of international cricket) and/or having to deal with various distractions (such as the massive floods now plaguing Pakistan), England are suddenly proclaimed brilliant and strut about accordingly--in turn receiving acclaim for an 'Australian' attitude. We had a discussion of baseball yesterday. to quote the late great baseballer JH 'Dizzy' Dean: 'if you can do it, it ain't boasting'. If, however, one has not achieved at the level of the Warnes, Waughs, Gilchrists, McGraths, Holdings, Ambroses, Richards, &c, the behaviour of the likes of Broad (recalling the fairly recent debacle against the Netherlands, as well) can only deeply rankle or be regarded as ludicrous. Moreover, so Haidur appeared to enjoy his day overly: why is there anything wrong with being graceful and sporting by acknowledging a fine innings under difficult circumstances by a Test debutante, especially since England will win anyway (doom-sayers notwithstanding)?"
17th over: England 49-1 (Strauss 25 Trott 14) need 118 to win Asif is back into the attack now. After some of the deliveries he bolwed at Trott earlty on I'd say it was a mistake to ever take him off. Too late now. "First, just wanted to say I'm not nervous at all about this, and haven't been at any point this morning," swaggers Tim Young, "Is the pitch so bad that 118 is really any kind of target? Second, what's people's views on batting line-ups. Ignoring the in-built prejudice, in the last 12 months Bell probably deserves a place in the team somewhere, but that means what - dropping Cook and moving Trott to open, dropping Trott, or dropping Morgan - or is there an argument for dropping Pieterson/Collingwood? Or does Bell miss out if all these batsmen get a score in next couple of matches?"
18th over: England 53-1 (Strauss 30 Trott 15) need 118 to win Strauss sweeps fine for four fine runs and England now just need abouther 65 runs.
19th over: England 54-1 (Strauss 30 Trott 15) need 118 to win Haider comes up to stand behind the stumps and then leaps up to make an absurdly good take with his left-hand, intercepting a bouncer from Asif that was fired down the leg side. "There is never an argument for dropping Collingwood," says Rory Taylor, like a good OBO fan of old, "Not a good one anyway." Nasser Hussain is saying how interesting Selve's piece in today's guardian is, if you haven't read it yet, there's the link.
20th over: England 57-1 (Strauss 30 Trott 19) need 118 to win A huge LBW aapeal from Ajmal and Haider against Trott, but the ball was clearly turning too much to hit the stumps. That's the first sniff of a wicket Pakistan have had in a long while. "The Jaffa orange story may seem strange to many," says Philip West, "but a friend of mine tells of her mother receiving an orange for christmas just after the war. No, not as a stocking-filler, that was the present. Apparently she took it out on the streets to show all her friends and it caused a big stir."
21st over: England 62-1 (Strauss 30 Trott 24) need 118 to win A good spot this, from Chris Wright, "Strauss just overtook Vaughan for career runs and is about 40 short of overtaking Nasser Hussain. Wouldn't have bet on that a few years ago." He may just end up being regarded as a better captain than both of them. If he wins the @5h*s this winter, that is. Trott eases a glance away through mid-wicket for four, a shot which has Hussain purring 'shot, really good shot' in appreciation. That one has to be close! Trott shuffles down the pitch and swings his bat across the line of an inswinger, he misses the ball, which hit him in front of leg stump. Pakistan decide not to refer it.
22nd over: England 69-1 (Strauss 36 Trott 25) need 118 to win A slog sweep from Strauss brings him two runs. He has played wonderfully well this morning. He feathers the next ball down to slip, playing with some fairy-soft hands. The next delivery is cracked for four through cover. "When I was a kid, and Richie Benaud was captaining Australia, a jaffa was a round, hard, red, orange-flavoured, chocolate-centred sweet that Australian kids rolled bumping down the stairs of the aisles at the pictures," says Scott Poynting, "It was about five eighths of an inch in diameter, so attempting to hit a jaffa bowled at you at pace might be a good metaphor."
23rd over: England 71-1 (Strauss 37 Trott 26) need 118 to win Shoaib Malik will get an over before the lunch break. Seems no one is quite happy with that definition of jaffa: "The port city of Jaffa was called "Yafi" by the Canaanites," suggests Stephen Davenport. "It means beautiful (or gorgeous), which is probably nothing more than a happy coincidence; I doubt even a commentator of Richie Benaud's renown is that well versed in Canaanitish." Never underestimate Benaud, Stephen.
That's lunch folkswith England needing another 47 runs to win.
Here come the umpires. England should wrap this up quickly now. The most interesting question left in this match may just be who should win the man-of-the-match award. Well, that the etymology of 'jaffa'. "I was at school in the 70s," says Alasdair MacDonald, "and we used to use the word as a term of approval, for just about most things, but mainly in sport - a good cricket stroke, or a goal in football, or whatever. So I've always assumed it dates from the scarcity of exotic foreign fruit in midC20th Britain, and the general regard of the Jaffa orange as being the supreme example of that particular fruit. We also used the word "peach" a lot, and interestingly (at least to me) one of our school-masters always made us use it in the Latin translation of "Persicus". So I'm looking forward to hearing that one day on TMS."
24th over: England 76-1 (Strauss 38 Trott 29) need 118 to win Amir's first ball back brekas back off the pitch and slides past Strauss' stumps. Strauss tickles a single to leg, prompting Amir to switch around the wicket to bowl to Trott. He then slashes an uppish drive through extra cover, the fielder diving to cut it off just before it crossed the rope." Inspired by the 19th over, I went and took a look at Mr Selvey's piece," says Simon Constantine, "and very interesting it is too. However, there is a frankly huge advert to the right for Lederhosen from a German branch of C&A. Just who does the marketing for them/you? What odds you find someone who is both a) reading the England-Pakistan OBO and b) in need of lederhosen?" Extremely short I'd wager. I'm wearing some now.
25th over: England 78-1 (Strauss 39 Trott 29) need 118 to win Saeed Ajmal starts at the other end. "On the other hand," muses John Starbuck, "you never heard people going on about something being a pineapple or lychee, which were much more exotic in mid-20th century Britain except in tins." Dropped by Haider, standing up to the stumps. This was easier than the last, the ball snicking off Strauss' edge as he propped forward. That was a real durian.
26th over: England 84-1 (Strauss 39 Trott 34) need 118 to win Strauss twice picks out the man at extra cover with clipped drives. A bye, a no ball, and a vicious cut for four mean that by the end of the over England only need 34 to win.
27th over: England 84-1 (Strauss 39 Trott 34) need 118 to win Strauss works the ball away to the on side, steps down the pitch and does the same again, then cuts to point. Each time though he picks out a fielder. That's Ajmal's first maiden over, which shows how well England have batted today, pushing the ball this way and that into the gaps, rotating the strike and hustling through their work.
28th over: England 89-1 (Strauss 39 Trott 38) need 118 to win "Regarding Simon Constantine's comments at over 24. On MY copy of the guardian there is no such advert," says Anthony Little, "Maybe the use of technology by the graun to provide suitable adverts for its viewers is the issue here. Simon needs to answer the question why HE might be a suitable Lederhosen candidate?"
29th over: England 92-1 (Strauss 41 Trott 40) need 118 to win "Following on from Simon's comment (over 24)," says Chris Drew, "I'm viewing his OBO in France there is an advert showing a young lady in an intimate position with a blow up (male) doll. This might just say something about OBO readers/writers." Astonishingly enough, Chris has provided a screengrab of the page and he's not lying. Though it woule be a bit of a push to describe the position as 'intimate'. I'd suggest 'tender' was nearer the mark. Back at Edgbaston Strauss has tried to slap a slower ball down the ground for six, but got the shot all wrong. Still, he's having all the luck - the ball plopped down safe in an empty part of the outfield.
30th over: England 93-1 (Strauss 41 Trott 41) need 118 to win With England needing 26 to win Shoaib Malik is going to get the chance to bowl through the last rites of the match. Trott is too wary to do anything rash, and block the first five balls before sneaking a single off the sixth.
31st over: England 95-1 (Strauss 41 Trott 43) need 118 to win Just in case you didn't believe us.
32nd over: England 101-1 (Strauss 46 Trott 43) need 118 to win Strauss screws another loose drive high into the air towards long-off, where Asif makes another hash of trying to collect the catch. It wasn't a drop as such, as he got nowhere near the ball. "Here in Canada there is no risque advertisement" says Alex McGilivray, "but at the bottom of the page, quelle surprise, Jacob Oram is STILL rueing those missed opportunities, despite having retired from Test cricket last year." You should think yourself lucky Alex. It was only the other day I saw a link at the foot of an article to a report Craig White's century in a tour match from 2000.
33rd over: England 102-1 (Strauss 47 Trott 43) need 118 to win This over has come and gone already, so I'm going to stick in Alex Stokes' em,ail and skip on: "I grew up during the dark days of 90's English cricket, replete with spectacular collapses and woeful performances aplenty against all and sundry. I did grow to love Cricket, but when winning is all that - essentially - matters in professional sport, supporting a team that was known for its inconsistency (or mores the point, known for its consistency to be rubbish...) was strangely romantic, but moreover, massively annoying. Those that wished for something akin to those dark days this morning are, without doubt, masochistic and slightly warped. Give me the clinical Aussie-esque ruthlessness which Strauss' side are beginning to impart every time they step onto the field, any day of the week (and twice on Sundays)."
34th over: England 108-1 (Strauss 48 Trott 48) need 118 to win And this over belongs to Colin Wood: "actually I know there are no prizes for promises but the next song is ( I think) the best I have written for a few years. It's about the lamentations of an England opener bang out of from written from the perspective of a lunatic minstrel who never got his emails posted any more on OBO and whimsies that he could have been
someone. He could have been an OBO reporter.... Pipe dreams.
"There was a deathly silence all around the ground
as the crooked finger pointed to the sky
and he folded his bat underneath his limp armpit
and headed of for the pavillion shaking his head"
and the heckler moaned.
Chorus ..
Hang up ...
Hang up your dreams of playing for England (rpt)
"I could have been someone if I had the chance
I could have been a reporter on over by over by over by over
and typed out ""wicket!"" what my opinion, your opinion? my opinion
and then the heckler cried
(repeat chorus)"
Colin, I'm looking forward to it already. Perhaps you'll have it finished in time for the next Test?
35th over: England 112-1 (Strauss 51 Trott 49) need 118 to win Strauss brings up his fifty, flicking three to fine leg. Well played sir.
36th over: England 117-1 (Strauss 51 Trott 53) need 118 to win And Trott follows suit, driving four through extra cover. These two have both played exquistely well. But still some of you aren't happy. "Alex Stokes may be right that you'd have to be mad to want the 90s back, but maybe the reason we wanted them back today was to make the game interesting," says Robin Hazlehurst. "Cook getting out gave the morning session a stir, but since then it has been a procession without much emotion. All true sports fans love the chewed fingernails and feeling that a victory has been earned, surely? Otherwise where's the interest? I still want England to win, but I want the rollercoaster too - 118 for 8 would be a much rewarding and exciting victory than 118 for 1 will be. So come on, collapse a bit please, it's still not too late.
37th over: England 118-1 (Strauss 53 Trott 53) need 118 to win One run needed then, and it duly comes with snick off the inside edge that trickles away past Haider for single run. England win by 9 wickets and lead the Test series 2-0. Strauss and Trott finish with an unbeaten partnership of 111.
"England were behaving a bit like the old Australia side" says Nasser, "we're going to bully you, we're better than you and we are going to bully you. The difference being that when someone came back at the old Australian side they still gave you respect. England yesterday just got a bit prickly, and that's something they can learn from."
Salman explains to Atherton that the management couldn't pick Mo Yousuf because the heavy rainfalls in Lahore meant he hadn't had any practice, and that the batsman said himself he didn't feel ready to play. I am increasingly impressed with Salman, he is eloquent, intelligent and reasonable in what he says - he was very reasonable in hsi reactions to Broad's behaviour yesterday. It's just a shame he hasn't been able to buy a run since he took over the captaincy.
"It was a timely reminder for us that to win a Test match you do have to work hard," says Andy Strauss. Asked about Ali Cook's form he says "hopefully at Lord's and the Oval the wickets will be a bit better and he can get in the runs," which suggests that England will take the same line-up into the next Test.
And the man of the match is... Graeme Swann, his fifth in 22 Test matches. Right, I have to scurry off and write the Spin. So if you'll excuse me I'm going to leave you know. Thanks for the company and emails, and I'll see you back here for the start of the next Test. Cheerio.