Surbiton, where I was born, sounds a long way from where I am now, but I'm very middle-class, in my own way. I grew up in Teddington and had two older sisters, Frances and Beverley, and my father was a policeman and my mother was a probation officer. It was all very busy, dashing off and out, and creeping round the house because my father was on night duty. I was a delightful, well-behaved Catholic schoolboy.
It sounds quite strait-laced, a policeman and a probation officer, but it was all comedy in our house. Anything for a laugh, with him as the straight man, while she was quite queenly.
My father wasn't a Catholic, but my mother used to take us all to church, and it wasn't an option not to go. Once I knew I was gay and felt self-righteous about it, it was, "I'll take my prayers elsewhere." But once a Catholic …
Mum and Dad didn't know I'd been badly treated by the teachers at school. I got a scholarship and they were very pleased, and I didn't like to bother them. It's not something you want to talk about as an adolescent.
Adolescence was when it changed. I was never badly behaved, but I became subversive and theatrical. My father was a bit bemused, but my mother positively encouraged it. She didn't want me to be a blokey bloke. She's quite an interesting woman, my mother. I think she's deliberately shaped me to be the person I am.
There was never any great announcement. I was an effeminate child and it was obvious to most people – people would call me gay when I was at primary school. When I had my first national newspaper interview, the headline was "Gay Clary." I was a bit taken aback, but my parents said, "We liked it."
Both my sisters were sent to dance classes – I wish they'd taken me too. Possibly my father put his foot down. My eldest sister became a dancer – a glamorous showgirl, a Tiller Girl. I remember going to see her at about 14, being amazed with all the feathers and makeup, and when I started on the cabaret circuit I copied my makeup from that.
My family is bemused by my career. My father's not a typical policeman, not a hang 'em, flog 'em type, so there was never any great discussion. It was just: "That's what you're doing, is it?" When I started, I think they thought it was a silly phase and that sooner or later I'd get a proper job. I thought it as well. My act is so deliberately silly that to string it out this long seems like an achievement.
I have gay friends who are estranged from their families and do a duty call at Christmas, but my family has always been very important – I'd always want to go home every couple of weeks. I'm very close to my siblings – we have the same experience of life and we feel things in exactly the same way. Happy things and sad things.
I would have liked to have had children. I was very curious, around 40, what my own children would be like. I did look into adoption, briefly, but the Chinese authorities were rather anti-gay, though I did inquire. Paul O'Grady's a friend of mine, and he came round with his daughter and granddaughters and I thought, that's rather nice. But I'm very nice indeed to my nephew and nieces, in the hope that they'll look after me in my old age.
Devil in Disguise by Julian Clary is out now