Women trouble
The pope
The Vatican has announced a revision of a 2001 decree aimed at tightening the rules on child abuse by priests (or at least, as a first step, suggest that this is a thing perhaps to think twice about before doing). In addition to this sterling work, however, they popped in a little clause making it an equally serious crime for any bishop to attempt to ordain a woman.
It is unclear whether it's the aping of Rowan Williams or the whole womanity thing that is most appalling to the Roman Catholic church and its leaders, but either way, trying to ordain a woman now ranks alongside paedophilia, heresy and schism in the catalogue of ecclesiastical crime. Read 'em and do weep.
Swiss retreat
The celebrated film-maker and – against what we might have hoped were all the odds – semi-celebrated child sexual abuser (hey, our first themed This Week!) has learned that he has got off scott free.
Polanski (pictured) fled the US 33 years ago after having sex with a 13-year-old girl and realising that the judge was going to renege on a deal that had been cut and that he might face a punishment slightly more commensurate with the crime. Moves were afoot by some terribly unforgiving types – probably the same hardfaced bastards who are now objecting to the lionisation of Raoul Moat – who kept insisting that even the talented and the troubled should be subject to the same laws as ordinary mortals, to have him extradited and re-tried at last. But a Swiss court ruled that this is not to be.I get very tired, sometimes. Very tired indeed.
Mad Max resurrection
And rounding things off here at the Misogyny Festival is Mel Gibson! Tapes allegedly of the actor going Mad Max as he hurled what the tabloids were for once justified in calling a vile tirade of abuse at his ex-girlfriend Oksana Grigorieva.
According to the father of her child, Grigorieva needs a bat to the side of her head and burying in the rose garden. It makes you long for the days when he was just your average sexist, old-school Catholic and antisemite. Oh, halcyon days. Received wisdom is that Gibson cannot recover from this. But one course is still open to him. If ever priesthood beckoned a man, it is surely now. At least he apparently saves his violence for adult females. Truly, God works in mysterious ways.
What they said
"I can't cater for all the ears out there."
Katie Price tweets her response to criticism of her new single.
"An exhaustive account of blatant and sometimes malign sexism and ageism against women."
Selina Scott on the dossier of evidence she has sent to the BBC.
"Bristol believes in redemption and forgiveness to a degree most of us struggle to put in practice in our daily lives." Sarah Palin is still working on accepting daughter Bristol's engagement to Levi Johnston, who spent most of last year badmouthing her.
What we've learned
• Ann Widdecombe is to appear in the next series of Strictly Come Dancing
• The house where Marilyn Monroe died is on sale for $3.6m (£2.3m)
• Crime has fallen to its lowest level since 1981
• Britain has topped the quality of death index, ahead of 39 nations, for the care offered to people at the end of their lives. This is weird, but good news
... and what we haven't
• How best to express our joy that singer Robbie Williams has rejoined Take That