Mario Batali got a free gym membership to Gwyneth Paltrow and her trainer's new gym in Tribeca, because "Mario is the only fat friend she has, and wants him to change." (Or maybe just because he's her friend and she's being nice. That, too.) Levi Johnston's family said on Larry King Live that they are hiring a lawyer to force the Palins to let Levi see his baby son, Trigg. Bill Clinton and Barack Obama exchanged friendly barbs at a tree-planting yesterday. Jared Kushner just bought a $3.2 million condo in Astor Place. Oh no! Susan Boyle is getting a makeover! Kanye West is making good on his promise to curb his ego — he was positively friendly and humble at the Tribeca Film Festival.

The Octomom admits she was a briefly a stripper who used the name "Angelina." Salma Hayek will re-marry her billionaire husband, François-Henri Pinault, in Italy. "Power lesbian" Sandy Sachs was busted for DUI. Beyoncé isn't mad someone made a fake recording of her sounding bad singing. Patti Scialfa was notably absent from the last Bruce Springsteen concert in Boston — perhaps because of a New York divorce trial in which the Boss is mentioned. Jason Sudeikis did put Zac Efron's foot in his mouth on SNL, but he didn't suck. Richard Dreyfuss and Elisabeth Shue are doing a movie called Piranha 3-D. Madonna saw a spine doctor after her fall.

For some reason, Nick Cannon was hanging out on the roof of the Empire State Building with SpongeBob SquarePants. The socialite formerly known as Annie Churchill recently got married to media man Andrew Albert. Bono wants Evan Rachel Wood to do a Woody Allen movie. Robert Evans managed to plant a very flattering lead item in "Page Six" concerning his new HBO mini-series about Hollywood lawyer Sidney Korshak. John Travolta still needs to grieve in private, he told a hotel manager in Tahiti. Chelsea Clinton has been spinning her brains out to get ready for bikini season. Jennifer Hudson is pregnant!